


Before You

by girls_like_girls



Series: Love & Music [2]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, F/F, Music, Sequel, Smut, stubborn women
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-24
Updated: 2020-09-24
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:15:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 45,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26227012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/girls_like_girls/pseuds/girls_like_girls
Summary: Four months and Regina was starting to realize that there was nothing wrong with what they were doing. Or not doing? She wasn't sure. They hadn't spent much time alone, though they communicated daily. Neither one of them had put a label to anything, but Regina hadn't been with anyone else–though she had a few offers–and Emma had spurned the advances of many women. It was an unspoken agreement. They were exclusively doing whatever the hell the "thing" was that they were doing.
Relationships: Evil Queen | Regina Mills/Emma Swan
Series: Love & Music [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1904842
Comments: 25
Kudos: 114
Collections: Swan Queen Supernova V: Forever Starstruck





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mippippippi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mippippippi/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Before You [ ART ]](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26194876) by [mippippippi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mippippippi/pseuds/mippippippi). 



> Annnnnnnnd I'm back. I really struggled with deciding what I was going to do this year for Supernova but this would not leave me alone so here we are. I would be remiss if I didn't thank my beta Natalia, my artist mippippippi, and my wife for pushing me to finish this. 
> 
> I also need to add, I don't own any of the music used in this fic. Most of it belongs to ABC/CMT as it's from Nashville and the others are from the various artists that Pynk covers. 
> 
> I hope you all enjoy it! Thank you so much for reading.  
> ~Jem

Regina leaned against the doorframe, watching Emma, who was clad in overalls and a sports bra, the denim straps hanging against her thighs. Her back’s sinewy shape was on display as Regina admired the way Emma's muscles contracted when she moved, and the slight sheen of perspiration that clung to her tanned skin was tantalizing. She was delectable, absolutely singular, and far from perfect, but all those imperfections _made_ her perfect. _She'd missed her._

There'd been a heaviness to their interactions that Regina didn't want. Four months and she was starting to realize that there was nothing wrong with what they were doing. _Or not doing?_ She wasn't sure. They hadn't spent much time alone, though they communicated daily. Neither one of them had put a label to anything, but Regina hadn't been with anyone else–though she had a few offers–and Emma had spurned the advances of many women. It was an unspoken agreement. They were exclusively doing whatever the hell the "thing" was that they were doing. 

"All right, the tune-up is done. I mean, I didn't rotate the tires, but I will. I have to get ready for the party. Your plugs and wires really needed to be changed, and I put on new oil and air filters. It could use a wash and wax, but I'll do that later, too. I still have to go pick up the bug from Jefferson." 

Regina smiled and walked over to Emma. "Are you going to get ready here?" 

"Uh, I was going to, but if that makes you uncomfortable I can head home, then go over to Jefferson's, and then go–"

"Shhh, it's fine, I'm perfectly comfortable with you getting ready here. Then I'll take you to Jefferson's house and meet you at the Dragon's Lair." 

"You sure? I was just gonna ride, and leave my bike there, and get it later." 

Regina shook her head. "I'll take you. Now come on, I need a shower." 

Regina grabbed Emma's hand and pulled her toward the door, their fingers intertwined as they walked through the house. Regina picked up on Emma's confusion, but she hoped it would all make sense soon. Regina was complicated, but she was tired of trying to be what everyone thought she should be and tired of denying herself what she wanted. She was tired of dodging Mal, and though she thought Lily might suspect something, she was tired of walking on eggshells. 

Regina pulled Emma into the bathroom and was pleased when her companion didn't protest or ask questions. That was something about Emma that Regina appreciated: her willingness to go with the flow. 

"Are you ok?" Regina whispered, leaning in, resting her forehead against Emma's. 

"Yeah, are you?" 

Regina smiled and let her eyes slip closed. "I am. I've missed you." 

It felt ridiculous to say. Regina was the one who asked to slow down, who insisted they take a step back and get to know one another. The one who thought they were "caught up in a physical whirlwind and needed to know for sure this was what they wanted before they uprooted their entire lives." That wasn't her proudest moment, but Emma was patient. Emma rolled with the punches. Emma was magic, and Regina couldn't be more appreciative. 

It was nice to be so close to Emma again, to feel her hands as they unbuttoned her slacks. The soft press of thin pink lips to the tender spot on tanned skin. The pleasure of taking in the scent of car and something inexplicably _Emma_. How warm and firm Emma's skin was, as she pulled off her sports bra and stepped out of her overalls. The gentle sound of Emma's whispered _I missed you too._ How had she allowed six weeks to go by with only stolen kisses? How had she denied Emma anything when she felt so good? 

It was unrushed, their clothes falling to the floor, the slow movements of Emma walking Regina into the shower, the first touch of their lips. Languid and indulgent. Fierce and heady. The juxtaposition of the cold tile and Emma's warm skin left Regina shaking. 

"You ok?"

Regina smiled and nodded, touched by Emma's concern. She released her hold on Emma so the blonde could turn on the spray. It was a sight, watching rivulets of water sliding down Emma's body. She was mesmeric and utterly captivating in the quiet moments. And though they hadn't had many of those moments together, Regina cherished them, maybe because of their infrequency. It seemed like everything wanted to keep them apart, but they were determined.

"What are you thinking about?" 

Regina smiled and pulled Emma close. "You." 

Emma grinned while leaning in, taking Regina's mouth with her own. She had mastered the aggressive yet gentle kiss. The message of _I want you badly,_ and _I want to cherish you_ both came through clearly. And when Emma's kisses began to drift lower, Regina didn't protest. She basked in the affection; in the sensations Emma stirred within her. Regina allowed herself to let go. She didn't worry about what people may think or how they would react. It was just her and Emma, in the shower, expressing themselves, and she loved how Emma expressed herself. 

* * *

"Wait, don't stop." 

Regina would never have admitted it if she hadn't been turned to a shadow of herself by an experienced tongue and even more skilled fingers, but the way Emma massaged shampoo into her scalp was heavenly. Maybe she was just becoming addicted to Emma's touch. It was possible to crave the feel of someone's skin against yours, more than you crave food. _Right?_

"We've been in here a long time. We still have to get ready." 

Regina whined but didn't protest much more as Emma rinsed her hair. It was wildly domestic, and a complete change from the other activities the shower had seen. They were ferocious with one another, needy and insatiable. The water had long lost its heat, but it didn't seem to matter. It only cooled their overheated skin. Six weeks was a long time to go without touching the object of your affection, particularly when you had spent nearly three months stealing time to acquaint yourself with one another. 

"I think I should get out. Not because I want to, but because you, naked and wet, is very hot, and I don't think we have time to go at it again." Emma trailed a single soapy finger between Regina's breasts, her hand falling to cup Regina intimately. Regina groaned and took a step back, smirking.

"Go on. I’ll be out in a moment." She watched Emma step out of the shower as she began to condition her hair. 

Regina closed her eyes as the water ran through her tresses, taking stock of her body. The delicious burn in her thighs, the hickey she knew Emma left on her hip, the indentations of Emma's fingers that littered her inner thighs, the unbridled happiness that swirled in her heart. Whether she was ready to admit it or not, she was falling in love. It was exhilarating and terrifying. She didn't love easy or often and she hadn't had much luck at it. Maybe this beautiful and healing woman would be just what she needed. Maybe Emma would take care of her heart in a way that neither Robin nor Mal could. 

She exhaled as the water ran clear; those were musings for another time. Regina stepped out of the shower and patted herself dry with a towel. 

"Hey, where's your blow dryer?" Emma stood in the doorway, dressed in black jeans and a sports bra. "I'm gonna wear that shirt you bought me, but I didn't wanna get it wet." 

Regina couldn't ignore her influence or the bubble of unexpected excitement that Emma was wearing something Regina'd bought for her. 

"Under the cabinet. How late are we?" 

Emma opened the cabinet and pulled out the blow dryer. "Not late, actually. It was earlier than I thought when we got in the shower. It's a quarter to 4 right now. I think I am going to ride my bike to Jefferson's because I have to make sure they set up the stage the way we want it, and I know if I'm not there, Lily will do it, and I don't want her to have to do that." 

Regina nodded her understanding and began to moisturize as Emma dried her hair. She'd already planned her outfit, she was going to straighten her hair, and her make-up would be subtle (that decision had nothing to do with Emma liking her natural beauty.) 

She waited until Emma finished with her hair. "I understand that. I'll see you there."

"How are you so beautiful fresh out of the shower, wrapped in a towel?" 

Regina bit her lip. "Flattery will get you everywhere, Swan." 

They kissed, but Regina didn't allow Emma to deepen it. They'd never leave and they really, _really_ needed to get going. 

"Hey, will you bring my shirt? I don't want it to wrinkle on the bike." 

Regina smiled. "Yes, just please wear _something_ for the ride." 

One more kiss and Emma left. Regina huffed and ran her fingers through her hair. She was falling in love. _Dammit._

* * *

"Holy shit, Jeff! This is perfect. She's gonna flip out. Thank you so much!" Emma was in shock. The bug was beautiful. The original yellow had been updated, with no signs of rust anywhere. They even managed to get the dent out of the driver's side door. It was amazing. 

She punched Jefferson in the arm before hugging him. "It's fucking amazing!" 

He smiled at her. "Look, you really helped me out when it came to getting Grace from the group home. I owed you." 

Emma shook her head. "Nah, she needed her dad. I'm just glad I was able to help at all. I'm glad she has you. I'm glad you're sober." 

"You and me both. You know how to drive that thing?" 

Emma chuckled. "David's truck is a stick; I got it. Thanks again. Will you be there tonight?" 

"I think I'll pop in. Grace is having a playdate until 8. What time do you guys go on?" 

"At 8, but I think Robyn is filming it. You should come just to say hi to Lily. I know she'd **love** to see you." 

Jefferson's eyes went wide. "Her mother would literally burn me to a crisp, no thank you, but I bought her a card, so I'll pop in and say hi." 

Emma tried to hide her amusement, but it was much too hard. Lily's crush on Jefferson was harmless, but Mal and Regina were not. They would do unsavory things to him if they thought he was remotely interested in Lily. 

"Thanks again. I'll come get my bike tomorrow some time." 

He handed her the keys to the new and improved bug. "It'll be here." 

She got in the car and muttered _fuck._ The interior was clean, a big deal since the seats were leather. It was more than she'd asked for. Whoever Jefferson knew in Boston was excellent. She started it up and headed over to the Dragon's Lair. 

She pulled around back, parking next to Mal's Benz. She didn't see Regina's car anywhere, though that wasn't surprising. The party didn't officially start for another 45 minutes. She grabbed her backpack from the passenger seat, pulling out a large, red bow. She rolled down the passenger and driver windows and looped the bow through, tying it down before getting out. 

"Em! Get your ass in here, pronto!" Emma looked over at the back door to see Ruby leaning against it, a smirk on her face. Emma rolled her eyes as she walked over. 

"It looks good. She's gonna love it." 

Emma smiled, proud that she was able to give it to Lily. She hadn't told Lily that it was going to be a gift. They’d initially agreed to share it, but Emma had transportation, and Lily would want to go back and forth between school and home. 

"Look, it's already packed in there. Clearly, high schoolers show up to shit early as fuck. Lily is the center of attention, and she loves it. Go save her!" 

Emma shoved her bag under a table in the kitchen. "Ok, I need my shirt. Regina was supposed to bring it, and she's not here yet."

"Guess you'll have to brave the masses in a tank top until she gets here. The ladies will just love it." 

"Shut up, Rubes. Come on, let's go save the guest of honor." 

They walked through the kitchen and into the Dragon's Lair. There were far more people than Emma initially thought there would be, especially so early. She knew it was a big party, but Emma didn't know there were that many teens in the graduating class. Was Storybrooke that big?

"Hey, Em, long time no see." Tink bounded up to them and threw her arms around Emma's neck. She leaned in for a kiss, but Emma turned her face, feeling the sticky lip gloss on her cheek. 

"Hey, Tink." She pulled away gracefully and smiled politely, sweeping the room with her eyes in search of Regina. The woman was good at popping up, and Emma didn't want Regina to get any ridiculous ideas. The shower had been nice, more than nice. It'd been weeks since they'd last been together, and Emma would be lying if she said it was easy. She was used to having what she wanted when she wanted. Regina, intentionally or not, was humbling her.

"I'm excited for the show tonight. Maybe we could hang out after?" 

Emma couldn't find a kind way to turn her down. She'd been actively avoiding her, but clearly, the point hadn't been made. 

"No can do, she's hanging with us tonight. Sorry, love." Ruby smiled and pulled Emma away. She'd never been so thankful for Ruby's excessive need to butt in before. 

"Damn Em, what'd you do to her?" 

"Gave her a few orgasms. Apparently, they were a foreign concept unless self-inflicted." 

Ruby laughed and shook her head as they headed toward where they thought Lily was. Emma spotted her before Ruby did, talking to Aurora. That was surprising. She couldn't tell what the conversation was about, but Lily fiddled with her fingers and looked everywhere but at Aurora, which was never a good sign. Emma bumped Ruby and motioned toward them. Ruby gasped. 

"Go get her, that doesn't look good." 

Emma agreed and made her way over, catching the tail end of something Aurora was saying. 

"‒know what happened and why I...it's not an excuse, though."

"Hey, Lils." 

Lily's face lit up, but Emma could see the tears lurking. She flung her arms around Emma and hugged her close. 

"S.O.S.," she whispered in Emma's ear. Lily pulled away, a fake smile on her face. 

"Sorry to cut in, Aurora, but I need my band manager." Emma looked sheepishly at Aurora. 

"Oh... yeah. Of course, I need to find Philip. Anyway. Lily, I'd love to talk some more, if you want, that is. My number is still the same."

Lily nodded. "Sure, sorry. Duty calls." 

Emma pulled Lily away, hugging her close. She kissed Lily's temple. "You don't have to talk about it." 

Lily nodded and stayed tucked under Emma's arm as they walked to where the band had assembled. 

"You ok, babe?" Ruby walked up and pulled Lily into her arms. When she pulled away, she dabbed at Lily's eyes with a napkin. "Come on, sexy. You can't cry, you'll ruin your make-up. And let me just say, you look delectable." 

Lily grinned. "Thanks, Rubes." 

"You're a graduate, congrats!" Mulan moved in for a hug.

"Pretty fuckin' amazing, Lily. And the Valedictorian! Your speech was amazing." Merida hugged her. 

"Come on, guys, you'd already heard that speech like a thousand times." 

"It was still fucking amazing!" Emma added, incredibly proud of Lily. Watching her friend command the stage while giving her speech had been quite the sight. 

"I'm so glad you guys are here."

Emma's phone vibrated in her pocket, pulling her attention from the conversation. She checked her phone. 

**Regina:** I just got here, and I have your shirt. 

**Emma:** I'm coming. Meet you in the kitchen.

"Em? Did you hear me?" 

Emma looked up from her phone. "Huh? No. What?" 

Ruby sighed and rolled her eyes. "I said, they are setting up the stage. Are you going to go direct traffic?" 

"Uh, no. You go ahead. You know what it's supposed to look like. I have to check on something." 

Ruby narrowed her eyes at Emma but didn't protest before heading over to where the stage was. 

"I'll come with you," Lily said. 

"Nope, then you'll see your gift. Stay with Merida and Mulan. I'll be back." 

Lily pouted but stayed put. They shared a look, and Lily nodded once. Emma was sure she got the hint. Emma slipped away, heading back toward the kitchen. She walked through the swinging doors near the freezer and saw Regina walking in from the back door. 

"Damn." 

Regina looked breathtaking. Her hair was straight, and her make-up was light. Her dress was a beautiful shade of blue, and was fitted just right. All of it was perfect.

"You're staring, dear," Regina joked, handing Emma her shirt in a dry-cleaning bag. 

Emma pulled off her tank top and enjoyed the soft sound that Regina made. When she caught site of Regina’s brown eyes, mischief danced in them. Emma tsked while pulling the shirt on. 

"That's a nice color on you," Regina complimented as she batted Emma's hands away from the buttons. It was intensely intimate, having Regina so close, buttoning her shirt. The heels she wore made her a couple of inches taller than Emma, putting full lips just above thin ones. Emma leaned forward just a bit, and their lips brushed. Regina let out a shuddery breath and pressed their lips together firmly. She didn't accept Emma's tongue, much to the blonde's chagrin. 

"Not here, Swan," Regina whispered against Emma's lips. 

Emma nodded and let Regina finish buttoning her up. 

"You should tuck it. I'm going to head inside." Emma didn't say anything when Regina slipped her tank top into her purse. They made brief eye contact, and if Emma wasn't mistaken, she was sure she saw Regina blush. Emma ducked into the bathroom and tucked her shirt. She fluffed her hair, flipping it one way, then the other. 

"You look fine." 

Emma jumped, surprised to see Lily standing just inside the bathroom. 

"Shit, you scared me." 

"Clearly. I saw my mom leaving the kitchen looking a little flustered, and I figured you had something to do with that." 

Emma smiled but didn't admit to anything. She caught Lily's eye in the mirror. "You ok?" 

Lily's smile fell away, and she sucked in a deep breath. "I'll tell you about it later. I really don't want to think about it. Come on, let's get back to my party." 

* * *

"Thank you! Thank you all so much. Holy shit, class of 2019, we're graduates!" 

The crowd went wild, and Regina looked up at Lily, proud. She was growing into such an amazing young woman. It was a beautiful thing. 

"Well, as you guys might know, I kinda manage a band." 

More excessive cheering and Regina found herself clapping as well. 

"They’re actually pretty damn awesome. You guys wanna hear some music? Give it up for Pynk!" Lily clapped as the band walked onto the stage. She hugged Ruby and accepted the kiss on the cheek before handing over the mic. 

"Lily Fire-Mills everyone. The lady of the night! Holy shit, she's not a baby anymore. Well... she'll always be our baby." She smiled at the crowd. "Class of 2019, y'all having a good time?" 

The crowd was loud, _very_ loud. Regina smiled, amused by the infectious energy in the room. Mal had offered her a spot backstage, but Regina liked to watch the show. If she were honest, she wanted to watch Emma. 

"We're gonna play a couple of songs for you guys. If you don't know by now, we're Pynk. Mulan is on drums with her sexy self. Merida, our fiery redhead, is on keys. The entirely-too-hot-for-words lead guitarist and singer is one Emma Swan. And me? I'm just little ole' Ruby. Nothing special." 

Regina rolled her eyes at Ruby's antics. The girl was born to perform and entertain, Regina was sure of it. 

"Lily baby, this is for you. Congrats, gorgeous!" 

Emma started playing, and Regina was entranced. It was always a sight. Regina was slightly aware of the rest of the band joining in and Ruby's voice filtering in, but Emma had her full attention. It wasn't until the chorus that Regina began to pay attention to what the song was as Emma stepped up to the mic. 

_Don't wanna grow up_

_I wanna get out_

_Hey, take me away_

_I want to shout out_

_Take me away, away_

_Away, away, away_

It was familiar. Lily used to listen to it all the time. Regina smiled, remembering the movie in which the song originated. Lily watched it religiously once she discovered it. Regina couldn't help but mouth the words to the music. Ruby led them into the second verse. 

_Do this, do that_

_Can't deal, can't deal with that_

_I tune in, tune out_

_I've heard it all before_

_Hello, goodbye_

_Never asking me why_

_Goodbye, goodbye_

_Goodbye_

Regina caught sight of Lily near the edge of the stage. There was so much joy on her face. She looked so happy; it warmed Regina's heart. The solo was starting, and Regina saw Lily's grin. Looking back to the stage, she saw Emma completely lost in her guitar. It always felt intimate, watching Emma play. There was so much passion in her. Her eyes were closed, and her fingers flew across the strings; she was in her own world. It was clear she loved it. Loved music, loved playing, and loved performing. It was a sight to behold. 

Ruby came back in with the chorus, and the band joined in. Emma stepped up to the mic and sang along for the rest of the song. 

"We should just warn you now; this is Lily hour. Everything we're playing is for her. So it may not be what you're used to from us, but we're here for her. Shit, we're here because of her! We love you, Lily." 

Ruby looked over to Merida and nodded. She began to play, and Regina recognized the song immediately. It was a surprising choice, but it was another favorite of Lily's. She watched Emma step up to the mic and began to play, her eyes scanning the crowd. It took a moment, but their eyes met. 

Emma smiled at her as Merida opened the song. Mulan joined her, and they sang the opening together. The band as a whole sang the chorus. Regina couldn't help the smile on her face as she watched Emma play and sing. Ruby sang the beginning of the second verse, and then it was Emma's turn. 

_Don't even think about what's right or wrong or wrong or right_

_'Cause in the end it's only you and me_

_And no one else is going to be around_

_To answer all the questions left behind_

_And you and I are meant to be_

_So even if the world falls down today_

_You still got me to hold you up up_

_And I would never let you down down_

Regina couldn't look away as Emma sang. Their eyes locked on each other. It was more than a song. It was a promise, one that Regina heard and understood completely. 

She watched the rest of the show with a smile on her face and warmth in her heart. Before the last song started, the band brought Lily out. 

"All right, it's the last song, but I think the band needs some help!" Ruby called, pulling Lily under her arm. "What do you think, Lily?" 

Regina watched Lily and Emma exchange a look. She didn't quite know what was happening, but Lily whispered something to Mulan and Merida, and soon they were pulling Mal onto the stage. Regina looked up at Emma, who was already watching her. She shook her head, no. 

"Where's Regina? Anybody see Regina?" Ruby called into the mic. 

Emma jumped off the stage and walked throw the crowd to get to Regina. 

"Hey, you." 

Regina smiled and shook her head. "Don't do it, Swan." 

"Sorry, Lily's orders." Emma led her toward the stage and lifted her pretty effortlessly, not that it surprised Regina. 

Regina grabbed Lily and Mal's extended hands and steadied herself on stage. 

"All right ladies, we know you know this song. We play it in the garage enough." 

"Wait, wait, wait," Lily said into the mic before Ruby played the mystery song’s opening chords. Lily grabbed Mal's hand and pulled her next to Ruby. 

"You're gonna sing here." 

Ruby winked at Mal, with a broad smile. Regina could only imagine the look on Mal's face. She knew Mal wouldn't object though, because she was still trying to get in Lily's good graces. 

Lily then led Regina to Emma's mic. "You're gonna sing here." 

Lily grabbed a wireless mic from off-stage. "Ruby's gonna start us off. Moms, just follow the band's lead." 

Regina looked at Emma, her nerves nearly getting the best of her. She didn't like being the center of attention, but she was willing to do it for Lily. And ready to do it _with_ Emma. Once the song started, she was immediately put to ease. It was a song she knew, begrudgingly. 

Ruby started, followed by Merida, then Emma sang, 

_I'll need a, a credit card that's got no limit_

_And a big black jet with a bedroom in it_

_Gonna join the mile high club_

_At thirty-seven thousand feet_

_(Been there, done that)_

There were wolf whistles from the audience when Regina ad-libbed ‘ _Been there, done that_.’ Mulan sang the next bit, and then to Regina's immense surprise, Lily sang. 

_I'm gonna trade this life_

_For fortune and fame_

_I'd even cut my hair_

_And change my name_

Then everyone on stage sang the chorus. Emma's smile was massive as Regina sang into the mic. It was intoxicating being so close to Emma while she played and sang. They just stared at each other as Merida and Mulan sang the second verse. Lily sang again, and then they were back into the chorus. Back to all of them singing together. Regina could see why performing was such fun. The energy from the crowd was exhilarating. Emma mouthed, _ready_ before the third verse started, and then she was singing. Regina chimed in and tried not to panic when Emma didn't sing the last line, leaving her alone. 

_I'm gonna sing those songs that offend the censors_

_Gonna pop my pills from a Pez dispenser_

_Get washed-up singers writin' all my songs_

_Lip sync 'em every night so I don't get 'em wrong_

The crowd was losing their minds as Ruby sang the beginning of the chorus with Mal chiming in a little. The entire band sang the rest of the song, including Lily, Mal, and Regina. 

"Let's give it up for Lily, Mal, and Regina!" Ruby yelled into the mic. The crowd cheered, and Regina couldn't help but flush and try not to look at Emma like she wanted to jump her, because she did. She was feeling warm all over. 

"Thank you, everyone, for coming out, thanks Ma and Mom, for singing with us. Thank you, guys, for playing for me. I love you all. Class of 2019...we did it!" 

The crowd cheered as the band left the stage with Lily, Regina, and Mal in tow. 

"Holy shit! That was awesome. I didn't know you guys were doing that. You sneaky bitches." Ruby playfully shoved Lily, who shrugged. 

"I may have mentioned it to Emma like..ten minutes before you guys went on."

"You're so lucky we love you," Regina said, pulling her daughter in for a hug, pressing a kiss to her hair. She caught Mal's eye for a moment but looked away immediately. 

"Why didn't we know that Regina could sing?" Ruby inquired, clearly baffled, causing a light chuckle amongst the group. 

"Em, that was great falling off, letting Regina have that last line. You have a beautiful voice, Ms. Mills." Mulan complimented. 

"Thank you." 

"Hey, let's not forget the hottie in the pantsuit. I saw you up there, Mal, enjoying yourself," Emma added, winking salaciously. 

"Shut it, Blondie." 

Lily hugged her mom briefly before Mal released her. They had a quiet moment, and then Mal was heading in the direction of the kitchen. 

Lily motioned to the party. "Come on, I want to dance." 

The band followed, but Emma lingered with Regina. "You were amazing up there."

Regina shook her head. "You were. I didn't do anything." 

"You made it hard for me to concentrate. That's impressive. Nothing distracts me from music." 

Regina smiled and cupped Emma's cheek. "I'll take that as a compliment." 

Her thumb brushed Emma's bottom lip. "Go. Go have fun. I'm going to head home. I'm helping Whale at the hospital tomorrow." 

Regina could see it in Emma's eyes, the desire to go with her, the desire to be with her. Regina would be lying if she said she didn't want it, but she wouldn't be selfish. Emma should stay. 

"Go find the band and Lily. We'll have plenty of time, I promise." They stood, just watching each other for a moment before Emma nodded once and headed back toward the party. Regina took a deep breath once Emma was no longer in her sights. 

_Gods, that woman._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Featured Songs *in order of appearance
> 
> Take Me Away- Christina Vidal  
> Untouchable-The Veronicas  
> Rockstar- Nickelback


	2. Chapter 2

_"No fucking way! No. Fucking. Way. Em, you didn't!" Lily was losing her mind. They'd finally let her open presents, and the entire party had crowded around a blindfolded Lily to unveil her last gift._

_"We said we would share! Oh my god, are you serious?"_

_Emma only nodded as she watched Lily open the door and sit inside the bug._

_"The seats are leather. Holy shit. Oh my god." Lily got out of the car and launched herself into Emma's arms. "Thank you. Holy shit, it's perfect."_

Lily stepped out of the car and straightened her blazer before walking into the town hall building. She was nervous, but tried to hide it. Mayor Gold was known for being a bit of a hardass and not the kindest man. Both her mothers had warned her to be confident and undeterred. She had to keep sight of the big picture. She was there to advocate for the band. She knew they were good enough, and she would ensure that Mayor Gold saw that. She entered Town Hall, and the receptionist told her that the mayor was expecting her. 

When she entered the office, Mayor Gold was finishing a call. He motioned to a seat as he wrapped up. 

"Ms. Fire-Mills, I apologize for that. How are you today?" 

Lily took a deep breath. "It's not a problem, I know you're a very busy man." 

She opened the folder she'd brought with her and placed documents on the desk. She didn't want to dawdle. 

"Pynk has been an active band for two and a half years. These are the analytics from their social media. There has been a steady incline in followers over the past eight months. Their Youtube views trend, on average, between 50k and 75k views per video. The band has booked consecutive gigs in town and has even played in surrounding towns and cities. 89% of their shows are sold out. They were featured in the Storybrooke Mirror four months ago. They are family-friendly and played a few songs on field day at Storybrooke Elementary. They are guaranteed to increase ticket sales for the festival." 

She finished her pitch and felt proud of it. She'd come with facts and not feelings, something both her mothers said was important when talking to Gold. Emma told her that numbers were necessary to show their growth and the power behind their name. 

"May I see that?" 

Lily nodded and watched him look over all the documents she'd put together. "What is the expected compensation for the band to play at the Summer Fair? I'd have to talk to the committee about how to fit them into the budget." 

Lily blanched, unprepared to talk money at the first meeting. Pynk had many paying gigs, but the amount always varied. They didn't have a flat rate, and she suddenly felt entirely in over her head as Mayor Gold stared at her. 

"Um, well, I would say that depends on the budget you have. If you have a ballpark in mind, I can see if that works for us." 

Mayor Gold steepled his fingers and tilted his head to the side. "Well, you came to me with the proposal, I didn't seek you out." 

Lily took a deep breath. There was amusement in his eyes, as if he was only humoring her. Like he didn't take her seriously. It pissed her off. She sat up straight and crossed one leg over the other.

"How many tickets did the Summer Fair sell last year?" 

"Around 1100." 

"Interesting, it's a three day fair, so around 370 tickets a day. That's not a lot of traffic. Pre-sale tickets were $15, tickets at the gate were $20. There were booths for food, crafts, and games. All of those vendors had to pay the town to set up shop, but you didn't get any commissions from those sales. If I had to guess, and I'd prefer not to, but if I had to, I would say you didn't make quite as much as was projected. Not surprising with the scandal in the papers." 

The relationship between Belle and Gold had many people talking, and it's ending was even worse. It'd been picked up by all the gossip blogs. The small-town mayor couldn't keep it in his pants. It was gross. 

He eyed her steadily, the mirth in his eyes gone. "I agree, the past has no bearing on our meeting. Which I do believe is coming to an end. I have an appointment after you." 

"I'll be quick. I propose that you sell tickets specifically for Pynk's show. They can play on the last day of the fair. Give them an hour set, charge $5 for children, $8 for adults, and keep the profits. That way, though you'll pay us, you'll also make money off of us. The ticket cost to get in the fair and then to specifically see the band play." 

Mayor Gold nodded, a slow smile on his face. His previous animosity seemed to melt away. "I like the way you think, dearie. You've got yourself a deal. I'll speak with the committee and see what's in the budget to pay the band." 

Lily smiled brightly, quite proud of herself. "Thank you, sir." 

"No need, we'll get a flyer put together to share on the band's social media. I will allow them an hour to play their songs, just ensure that the setlist is suitable for all audiences." 

"That's not a problem, thank you so much." Lily stood and extended her hand. Mayor Gold shook it. 

"How's your mother doing?" 

It wasn't a random question, but the look in his eyes gave her pause. "Fire or Mills?" 

Gold smiled as he released her hand. "Regina."

"Oh, she's doing well. Enjoying being home. She was at the hospital this week. I think she should accept the job offer from Whale, but she says she doesn't want to commit to something like that right now, so she's kind of on-call at this point."

"Is Whale compensating her properly?" 

"Uh, I'm not really sure. I would assume so." 

"Well, I'll look into that. It was a pleasure meeting with you, and I look forward to working with you in the future." 

* * *

**Emma:** I think I deserve a pic. It's my shirt after all. 👀👀

 **Regina:** No.

 **Emma:** Come on! Please. 

**Regina:** Absolutely not, Swan. 

**Emma:** No fair. 😒😒

 **Regina:** You'll get over it. 

Emma looked down at her phone and rolled her eyes. She really wanted that picture. She didn't have any photos of Regina, and while Emma sent Regina pictures all the time, Regina didn't return the favor. She'd asked for a contact photo a couple of weeks back, and Regina's response had been _You know what I look like, Swan._ The woman was so frustrating, but Emma really wouldn't have it any other way. Well, almost. Sneaking around was fun, but it really hindered how often and for how long they could see each other. 

"Ay! Emma, have you finished the chords for the new song?" Merida asked as she plugged in her keyboard. 

"No, I haven't touched that song in over a week. I'm sorry, I was really focused on the graduation party. I know we have the gig in Ellsworth in two weeks. I'll have it ready before then. I know we haven't played a new song in a while. I have some stuff I haven't shared, mostly because I'm not too crazy about any of them." 

"You been holding out on us, Em?" Ruby asked while setting up her guitar. 

"It's not holding out, just….it's not really what I'm used to writing, and it's a different sound. I just don't think now is the time to change that." 

"Well, we move freely through genres, not really claiming to be any one thing. We've done rock, country, folk, R&B a few times, too. We're just a band, so switching it up could show depth or a different side of us. I'm willing to try." Mulan retorted gently.

"Yeah, Em. Is it a ballad? We haven't had a new ballad in a while, I wanna hear your pretty singing voice." 

Emma sighed and sat up, dropping her phone. "It's a ballad and a duet. I think Ruby and Mulan should lead it." 

Ruby smiled over at Mulan. "Oh, I love it already." 

"It's titled 'No One Will Ever Love You,' and I think the content is pretty self-explanatory." 

"Ohhhhhh….I get to sing a love song with my crush. Em, you're so sweet." 

Mulan flushed and busied herself with the drum set. Emma just shook her head, pitying Mulan. There was no way of knowing if she was serious or not. Ruby's on-again-off-again relationship with Dorothy gave Emma whiplash. And Emma knew that Mulan was newly single. Her relationship had ended rather abruptly. 

"Do you want to hear the song or―"

"We're in!" 

Lily burst into the garage, a huge grin on her face. She dropped her bag and ran straight to Emma. Her excitement was palpable and infectious. Emma found herself smiling before she knew what she was smiling about. 

"What? Are we in?" 

"The Summer Fair! He said, yes! He fucking said yes, guys!" 

"No way! Holy shit, Lils, that's amazing!" Emma pulled Lily into a hug. The Summer Fair was a big deal, mainly because there had never been a live performance before. People came from surrounding cities to the Summer Fair. The exposure potential was astounding. 

"God damn, you could ask me for anything, and I'd say yes with you dressed like that," Ruby smirked before kissing Lily’s cheek and pulling her into a hug, a rather long one. Emma rolled her eyes but couldn't help but chuckle at how red Lily's face was.

"Aye! Keep your lips to yourself. Lily is respectable." Merida playfully shoved Ruby before hugging Lily for herself. 

"It's really great that you could convince him," Mulan added, a small smile on her face.

"What did he say?" 

"Ok, so you guys get an hour set on Saturday night. There are ticket sales specifically for the show. He's going to discuss the budget with the planning committee to see what they can afford. I didn't know what to tell him. I'm sorry. I blanked. I know that my mom paid you guys $600 for the show at the Dragon's Lair, but this is a town-funded event. I'm thinking double that, or triple it. I think you guys are worth at least $1200, but I'm afraid to lowball you. If there's more money in the budget, then you guys should get that." 

"That's a really good paycheck for us collectively and individually. We have to play an amazing show. I know the Dragon's Lair show was a big deal, but we have to be even better than that." 

"Agreed. So, let's hear this new ballad that I get to sing with the sexy drummer." 

"What ballad? Emma, you've been holding out on me?" 

"Do you want to hear the song or not?" Emma snarked while pulling out her notebook and grabbing a guitar. Everyone was watching her in varying states of excitement. Ruby flopped down on the couch and pulled Lily into her lap. 

"I just want you to hear it before we figure out the accompaniment. So, the first verse is Ruby, the second is Mulan." Her phone vibrated on the couch, and she leaned over to grab it. 

**Regina:** How's practice?

 **Emma:** Playing a new ballad for the band.

She set the phone down, but a notification came through immediately. She picked it back up. 

**Regina:** Are you going to lead it?

"Yo, Em, tell whoever that is that you need your fingers right now." Ruby reached for Emma's phone, but the sassy woman wasn't fast enough. 

**Emma:** No, Ruby and Mulan. Gonna play it now, though. Not ignoring you when I don't respond. 

"Calm down." Emma sat the phone down and picked up her guitar. 

_Don't you try to tell me someone's waiting_

_They're not waiting for you_

_Oh and don't you try to tell me that you're wanted_

_That you're needed_

_Cause it's not true_

"Then you two sing the chorus together."

_I know why you're lonely_

_It's time you knew it too_

_No one will ever love you. No one will ever love you_

_No one will ever love you like I do_

"Then, Mulan takes the second verse."

_Why you always looking for the limelight?_

_Ain't you satisfied with me?_

_For once why don't you get down off your high heels_

_You're no big deal_

_Can't you see?_

_I know why you're lonely_

_It's time you knew it too_

_No one will ever love you. No one will ever love you_

_No one will ever love you like I do_

_I'm all you got_

_I'm all you'll ever need_

_I'm all you'll ever have_

_No one will ever love you. No one will ever love you_

_No one will ever love you like I do_

_Like I do. Like I do_

"That's what I got."

"That was beautiful." Lily was staring at Emma, and the blonde was not ready to answer questions about her inspiration for the song, though by the look on Lily's face the answer was obvious. Emma wasn't certain of anything, the song just happened. 

"It really was. I'm excited to sing it."

"It's going to be beautiful. If I didn't know any better, I'd think you were in love with someone, but we all know that isn't something we should hold our breath over," Ruby joked.

Lily and Emma shared a look, but Emma had to look away. She was **not** ready to have that conversation. It was too much, too soon. She exhaled and checked her phone. 

**Regina:** I don't want to distract you. 

**Emma:** Impossible, you're my favorite distraction. 

"Emma, who has you smiling this much? Is it Tink?" 

"Tink?" Lily cut her eyes at Emma, and the blonde wanted to kill Ruby. That was something else she didn't need, Lily thinking she was messing around while dating Regina. 

"No. Not Tink. For fuckssake. Can we focus on something other than my phone? We need to figure out this song." 

**Regina:** Flattery will get you everywhere, Swan. 

**Emma:** I hope so. 😈

 **Regina:** I'm dating a child. 

"Emma, I think it's really soft and light, so maybe you should use the acoustic for the actual performance. Well, both of you should," Merida said, pulling Emma out of her phone for a moment. She nodded while typing out her response. 

**Emma:** Is that what we're doing? Dating?

She slid her phone in her pocket and decided to give the band her full attention. They had a song to rehearse, and more importantly, if she allowed herself to dwell on Regina's text, she would drive herself crazy. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Featured Songs 
> 
> No One Will Ever Love You- Nashvile Cast


	3. Chapter 3

**Emma:** Is that what we're doing? Dating?

Regina leaned against the counter and bit her lower lip. God, what had she done? Opened a can of worms, that's what. They were definitely dating, obviously, but was she ready to admit that? What if Emma wasn't dating her, but she was dating Emma? That would be awkward. Emma had quite a reputation, and Regina tried not to think about it because it would drive her to do childish, tasteless things. She'd seen it firsthand, how women hung all over Emma. Regina wasn't a jealous woman, but she also didn't want to share. It hadn't gone well with Mal or Robin. She didn't envy the women who'd come before her, but she wasn’t under any false misconceptions about who Emma was. And when you looked like that, why would you commit? Especially to a woman so much older. It was not beyond the realm of possibility that what Regina thought obvious was very obscure. 

She looked down at her phone as if it were a bomb, reaching for it, then pulling away, ready to leap, and not ready at the same time. Doubts swirled in her head. She and Robin wanted the same things: success and comfort, and yet he'd found comfort between another woman's legs. And he was her husband. Why would someone she'd just met be willing to commit? But dating wasn't technically a commitment. They were just putting a stamp on it, a little acknowledgment. She drummed her fingers on the counter before finally picking up her phone. 

**Regina:** Something like that. 

She put the phone down and waited, willing the notification tone to alert her of Emma's response. It didn't happen. Internally she knew she was overreacting. Emma was in band practice. They would probably be discussing the Summer Fair—Lily called her as soon as she left Gold's office— so there wasn't a reason to panic. Emma would text her back. 

She needed to do something to distract herself. Her nerves would get the better of her if she stared at her phone, waiting for a response. She left the kitchen and went down to the garage. There were hints of Emma all over it. A flannel that belonged to her, a pair of her gloves, her toolbox on the ground near the sink. It even smelled like her. She went in her car, grabbed her bag from it, and closed the door a little too forcefully. 

She went back to the central part of the house, into the kitchen, and checked her phone. Still nothing. In her bag was her sudoku workbook. Regina took it and a mechanical pencil out of her bag determined to distract herself. She finished the puzzle she'd been working on and then moved onto another one. She made quick work of them, and soon, she'd completed four puzzles, and still, her phone hadn't gone off. 

She shoved the book away and got up, going into the nearly-empty fridge. They needed to go to the grocery store. She pulled out the remainder of a broccoli crown, a red pepper, and half a bag of asparagus from the crisper drawer. She found an onion in the vegetable basket, along with garlic. She figured she could throw a stir-fry together. It wouldn't be the best thing she'd ever made, but it would do the trick. 

She discovered a bag of jasmine rice and measured it into a pot. Adding water, Regina set it on the stove and waited for it to come to a boil. Under the cabinet, she found the wok and placed it on the stovetop. The cutting board hung on the wall, and she pulled it down, rinsed the broccoli, asparagus, and pepper, and began chopping. She turned on the fire under the wok and added a little oil. 

Regina checked the water for her rice and saw it was boiling. She lowered the heat and covered the pot. 

She moved back over to the wok, added the onions, then the asparagus. The pepper was next. The door slammed, followed by the click of heels. She really couldn't deal with Mal, but she knew there was no way to avoid it. She'd already started cooking and couldn't abandon the meal. 

Regina could feel Mal watching her. 

"Hey."

"Hello.”

She didn't stop what she was doing. If anything, she focused even more on the stir-fry. She continued pilfering for ingredients and found some leftover shrimp from the previous day, as well as a can of water chestnuts. 

"I talked to Lily. Gold approved her proposal." 

"Yes, she called me." 

Mal sighed behind Regina, and it made the brunette tense a little. She drained the water chestnuts and then sliced them. 

"Regina."

"Mal, don't." 

"We can't keep this up. Lily is staying with the band at Merida's. We don't have a buffer. We have to talk to each other." 

Regina continued slicing water chestnuts, playing very close attention to what she was doing. She didn't want to talk to Mal. 

"Regina, we can't keep doing this to each other."

She slammed the knife down and turned around, furious. "Doing what to each other? I didn't do anything. This is on you!" 

"I know that. I just mean we can't keep...I can't keep going on like this." 

"It's not about you, Mal. Everything isn't about you." Regina turned back to the stove and added the broccoli and garlic to the wok. She stirred it with a wooden spoon. 

"Regina, I'm sorry. I really am. I don't know how to fix this." 

"You can't fix it." 

"I don't believe that. I refuse to accept that. You and me, Regina, we're a part of each other." 

Regina shook her head, not wanting to hear it. She knew this game and was tired of playing. "I don't want to do this, Mal. You need to respect that." 

"I do respect it, I just...it feels final. It's been almost three months Regina, we haven't bounced back. You know Lily has noticed."

Regina glared over her shoulder. "That's not fair. You can't force me to forgive you by using your daughter."

"Our daughter, Regina," Mal growled.

"Now, she's mine?" 

Mal slammed her hands on the island. "She's always been yours. Don't you dare do that." 

"Don't I dare?" Regina turned the heat off under the rice and lowered the temperature under the wok before turning a blazing gaze on Mal. 

"You said it! You said she's yours and that I needed to stop claiming—"

"I know what I said." Mal was red-faced, tears in her eyes. Regina knew that look, it wasn't one she often saw, because Mal wasn't one to apologize and actually mean it but Regina knew that Mal was sorry, she knew she hadn't meant it, but it didn't hurt any less. 

"Regina….you know me. You know I would never." She stopped and cleared her throat, looking away. "I am so sorry, Regina. You have to know that. You are Lily's mother. You will always be Lily's mother. I never want to...I fucked up, and I'm so sorry." 

Regina tried to keep them at bay, but the tears came anyway. 

"Regina..."

She held up her hand, not wanting Mal to get any closer. She wrapped her arms around her midsection, hugging herself. She took a deep breath. 

"I know you didn't mean to say it. I knew as soon as you said it. The look on your face...you didn't mean it. You weren't you then...you were hers. I know that, but it still hurts, and I can't change how I feel about it." 

A single tear slid down Mal's cheek, and it was hard to fight her instincts and not go comfort her, but she couldn't do it. 

"I'm so sorry I hurt you, Regina. I love you." 

"I know. I know you do." 

Regina turned back to the stove and checked the stir-fry. She added a little sesame oil. 

"I just need time. I can't promise you we'll go back to normal, but I'll try." 

"Okay. I'll give you all the time you need."

Regina knew she was still there, watching her. She took a deep breath, remembering how these kinds of conversations used to end: with her pressed against the wall or bent over a counter, Mal showing her how badly she wanted to be forgiven. It was unhealthy, and Regina wasn't interested in going down that road with Mal again. 

"It smells good. I'm going to go shower, and then we can have dinner if you want." 

Regina nodded because she didn't trust her voice. She waited to hear Mal's heels retreat before she wiped her tears away. 

She added the shrimp to the stir-fry and put the lid back on. She reached for her phone, and she saw she had a notification.

She unlocked her phone and smiled down at the screen. 

**Emma:** I'll take that.

* * *

"Hey, has my mom talked to you? About what happened?" 

Lily tried to sound nonchalant, but Emma could see through it. She sighed but didn't show her discomfort. This was something she'd wanted to avoid. Being the go-between. For her, it was too awkward. To her credit, Regina never asked questions about Lily. Asking for a suggestion for a graduation gift was different from asking about personal information. And this situation with Mal and Regina was personal and quite touchy. Emma tightened the lug nut on Regina's tire and pulled off her gloves before turning to Lily. 

"She has mentioned it, yes, but I—"

"—is it bad? Just...I know this is hard for you. I **know** that, and I don't want to put you in the middle. I just don't... they've never been like this. Not for my whole life." 

Emma nodded, trying to be understanding. Lily's life had consisted of two parents that loved her, no matter their relationship status. Regina and Mal had always been on good terms in Lily's eyes. She'd never seen them fight, or heard them argue. The tension in the house was so thick at times Emma thought she'd choke on it, and she could only imagine what that felt like for Lily. She wanted to help her, but she honestly didn't know much. 

"I don't have specifics. You know I came over the day after, and things were off. Regina was upset but didn't say why. She really didn't want to talk about it, and Mal was defensive and bitchy, honestly. I don't know what happened, or what was said. Whatever it was, Mal felt guilty, and Regina was hurt. That's all I know." 

Lily nodded, but Emma could tell it wasn't enough to ease her concern. 

"They aren't arguing. They aren't even ignoring each other. It's just off. Everything is wrong. It's not as bad as it was, it's like they're trying _too_ hard now. The tone is off, there's no banter, there's no love. It's like they don't love each other anymore." 

Emma hummed but didn't know how to respond. From what she could infer, Mal said something she clearly regretted, but whatever it was, it was enough to hurt Regina severely. You can't hurt someone like that if there isn't love there. They still loved each other. It was because they love each other that it hurt so badly on both sides. Mal probably hated herself for hurting Regina, and Regina was heartbroken that Mal would hurt her. 

"They don't flirt anymore, like, at all. When Ma was dating Robin, they still flirted, so I don't think it's you. I just…." She cut herself off and exhaled, running her fingers through her hair. "Ma doesn't let my mom touch her anymore. When she's cooking, she doesn't let my mom taste the sauce. My mom used to come home and immediately call for Ma, now she asks me, "Is your mother home?" "Lily, is your mom here?" "Have you seen your mother, Lily?" All the time. It's like she's scared to talk to Ma, and I can't take it. I miss them...I miss my family...I..." She sniffed, and then her eyes went wide. "I understand why Aurora hated me." 

Emma furrowed her brow, clearly confused. _Where the hell had that come from?_ "What are you talking about, Lils?" 

Lily pulled Emma to the garage's corner, which didn't make much sense because they were the only ones in the house. Whatever it was had to be a big deal because Lily peeked over her shoulder twice before taking a deep breath.

"My mom was having an affair. Is having an affair. Well, it's not an affair anymore because they're divorced, but I think they're still sleeping together." 

Emma arched an eyebrow. "Lily, what are you talking about?" 

"My mom is sleeping with Aurora's mom. Has been for years, even before Aurora was born. Shit, before Aurora's parents got married, but it's why they divorced. It's why she hated me. My mom ruined her family." 

"No fucking way! Did she tell you that at your party? What a bitch." That's really not the kind of conversation you have in public, and definitely not at a party. That was just selfish, and now Emma wished she'd been meaner to Aurora when she'd rescued Lily. 

"She's apparently been in therapy, and she felt like she needed to make amends...in the middle of my graduation party. With all our classmates around." Lily rolled her eyes, but Emma knew better. She remembered how despondent Lily'd been when they met. She knew how badly losing Aurora hurt. They'd been friends for over a decade. That kind of bond doesn't go away, and the pain of losing it was a wound that isn't quickly healed. 

"It's okay not to hate her," Emma whispered.

"She just dropped me, like I didn't matter. Like our friendship didn't matter. Then she acted like I never existed. How cruel is that? And here I am, ready to welcome her back into my life because I'm a fucking idiot." 

Emma pulled Lily in for a much-needed hug. She didn't let go when Lily tried to pull away, because she knew her best friend, and she knew that Lily needed to cry it out. To know that one of your oldest friendships ended because of your mother's actions had to be a mindfuck. After almost three years, Aurora was back and telling her why their friendship ended so abruptly.

"You're not an idiot. You were friends. Best friends for more than half your life. That doesn't just go away. You don't just stop loving someone. She had her anger and pain to hold on to. It helped her resolve. Anger is powerful. Trust me. I know from experience." 

Lily nodded as her sniffles turned into sobs. Emma held her tightly and let her cry. She rubbed her back and kissed her forehead. 

"I'm still upset, and I know it's been a couple months, but it still hurts, and finding out about Aurora doesn't help. She was probably with Aurora's mom. Her girlfriend was more important than me. How shitty is that, Em?" 

Emma sighed because they'd had the same conversation over and over. Emma completely understood why Lily was upset, and the new information didn't bode well for Mal. She fucked up big time, but she really had been trying to make amends. Even Emma could see that, and neither Lily nor Regina had really been receptive to her efforts. From what Emma could see, neither of them even talked to Mal about it. It was odd, feeling sorry for Mal, especially when it came to Regina. Even though Mal was an asshole, Emma thought she really was sorry. 

"I know I have to forgive her. I can't hold on to it forever, I just...it's hard. She's taking me on a trip after the show in Ellsworth. It'll be good for us to get away together again." 

"You should tell her what you know. Talk it out. You need to be honest with her. She needs to know how it affected you."

Lily nodded. "I get it, it's just hard. It's very hard to tell her. I don't want to hurt her."

"She fucked up, and she knows she did. She's the parent. Mal is a big girl, and she wants to make amends, but she needs to know how deeply this cut you. You won't be able to move on until you talk it out." 

Lily exhaled and leaned her head against Emma's shoulder. Emma palmed her head, and kissed her hair. 

"It's going to be okay, Lils." 

They stayed like that for a while, Emma letting Lily draw whatever comfort she could. 

"Lily! Are you in the garage?" Soon, Mal appeared at the garage door entrance in dress pants and a button-down shirt, her blazer resting on her forearm. Behind her, Regina followed in a pair of dark blue scrubs. Emma tried not to stare at Regina as Mal shifted to stand in front of the brunette. 

"Blondie. Didn't know you'd still be here." 

"I practically live here," Emma smirked, moving to stand a bit in front of Lily, hoping that her mothers wouldn't notice her puffy eyes and pink cheeks. 

"I should charge you rent," Mal snarked, her tone attempting and failing at joking. Emma didn't know what the slight animosity was about, but she'd never been afraid of Mal. 

"Bullshit. You get free labor." 

Regina chuckled and stepped out from behind Mal. "That's a fair point. Lily, are you all right? You look a little flushed."

Lily cleared her throat, but she didn't move from behind Emma. "I'm good." 

Regina narrowed her eyes for a moment. Emma knew that look well. It was her ‘ _I just heard some bullshit’_ look. Emma hoped she wouldn't push the issue. 

"How's my car, Swan?" 

Emma exhaled and ran her fingers through her hair. "I just finished rotating the tires. I washed and waxed it, then I cleaned the interior." 

"You never wash or wax my car." There was an accusation in her tone that wasn't pleasant. Usually, Mal pretended better in front of Lily. Emma arched an eyebrow.

"You never asked, and I owed Regina for patching me up, again. On top of that, we made a deal, and I'm a woman of my word." Emma eyed Regina for a moment before looking back at Mal. 

"What were you calling me for, mom?" Lily asked, and Emma knew she was trying to cut the tension. Emma promised that she'd behave around Mal because they both suspected that Mal was sensing something brewing between Emma and Regina. Emma never told Lily about the sex that Mal and Regina had because she didn't think it was necessary. After finding out about Aurora's mom, it made Emma mad for Regina. 

"I wanted to look at some housing options for our trip." 

Lily stepped from behind Emma. "Show me! I want to see."

Lily grabbed Mal's hand and pulled her toward the door, leaving Emma and Regina alone. 

Once there was no sign of Lily or Mal, Emma smiled at Regina. "Hey, you. So, that's why you didn't text me back." Emma motioned to the scrubs Regina was wearing. 

Regina looked down at her attire and nodded. "Burst appendix. Both Whale and Jekyll were in surgery, so the hospital called me. I didn't see your text until Mal was picking me up from the hospital." Regina leaned forward and hugged Emma. It was sweet. Emma loved having Regina in her arms. 

It wasn't uncommon for Regina to want affection after a long day at the hospital, and Emma was always willing to give Regina what she needed. She kissed Regina's temple. They stayed there for a moment, and then Regina took a deep breath and exhaled slowly before pulling away.

"I have a question for you, Swan." 

"Yeah?"

Regina took a deep breath and bit her lip, looking coy and nervous at the same time. It made Emma nervous, but she tried to stay neutral and not show it. 

"How would you feel about getting away for a couple of days?"

Of all the things Emma thought Regina was going to ask, going on a trip was not one of them. She balked, unsure of herself. 

"We don't have to, I just figured since Mal and Lily were going to be gone, we could—" 

"—a trip?"

"Yes." 

"Just the two of us?" 

Regina nodded, a slight smile pulling at the corner of her lips. "Yes." 

Emma took a deep breath. "Where do you want to go?" 

"Do you have a passport?"


	4. Chapter 4

"We talked about this. Five days. I'll be back on Thursday." Emma zipped her bag up and took a deep breath. _Everything is going to be okay; there’s no reason to panic._

"Tell August I said hi!" Mary-Margaret said, a broad smile on her face. She was thrilled that Emma was going to visit August. Emma sort of felt bad. She hated lying, but she couldn't tell them. They weren't ready to hear the truth, and she and Regina were not prepared to go public. It just worked out that August lived in Toronto. She'd meet up with him and take some selfies to send to David and MM, and everything would be fine. August was entirely on board, _thankfully_ , so she wasn't too worried about that part. 

"You're sure you don't want me to drive you over?" 

Emma chuckled and nodded. “I'll text you when I land. Promise." 

David looked skeptical but didn't fight her. They'd already discussed it multiple times. Emma was going to Toronto, and she would be with August. She was going to ride with Regina to the airport because Regina was attending a medical conference and just so happened to be flying out at the same time as Emma. She would fashion the duffel like a backpack and ride her bike. She didn't want David to take her and then ask a million questions, because she knew he would. It was weird, they sometimes forgot that she was an adult.

"Be safe. We love you." 

She waved before leaving, trying to keep her nerves at bay. They were going on a trip. She and Regina were going on a trip, the two of them. A couple of days had turned into five. So, she and Regina were going to Toronto for five days. They were kind of dating, and they were taking a trip together. Regina had taken care of everything, much to Emma's chagrin. She bought their plane tickets with points, and the place they were staying in belonged to an old family friend of hers. What was the protocol for something like this?

She tried to calm her beating heart as she rode over. She didn't want to be a bumbling idiot. The garage was open when she pulled in, and Regina was waiting.

"I was beginning to worry," Regina said, leaning against the driver's side door. 

"No need. Just had to convince David to let me ride the bike." 

Regina nodded before popping the trunk. If the sight of two large suitcases surprised Emma, she didn't show it. She just dropped her duffel bag on top of one of the suitcases, closed the trunk, and walked around to the passenger side. 

"Hey, I just want you to know...this doesn't have to be a big deal if you don't want it to be." 

Emma cocked her head to the side, confused, "What do you mean?" 

"I just… it doesn't have to mean anything. We're just two people. Going on a trip." 

"So, you just want to hang out? Like a girls' trip?" Emma wrinkled her nose, not liking the sound of that. 

Regina rolled her eyes. "Dammit, Swan, I can tell you're tense. You're worried about what this means. I'm saying it doesn't have to mean anything major. It can mean we go to dinner or the movies. You can be inappropriate, I can kiss you, and we don't have to worry about who sees us." 

"We're just Emma and Regina," Emma said, a small smile on her face. 

Regina mirrored her smile and pulled Emma close, across the center console. She rested her forehead against Emma's. "I'd like that very much." 

The ensuing kiss showed precisely how much. 

* * *

"Mom! Did you bring a razor?" Lily asked, gathering her things for a shower. 

"I don't travel without them. They're in my toiletry bag." 

Lily went into the room her mother claimed. It was spacious with a king-size bed and a beautiful view of the lake. The bag was easy to find, as were the razors. As she was leaving, her mother's phone lit up with a text notification. It was soon followed by two more. The sender’s contact info didn't show up, but Lily was sure she knew who they were from. She wouldn't make a big deal about it. They were on the trip to relax and have a good time together, which she intended to do. 

Basin Harbor was beautiful, and Lily couldn't wait to explore. They had plans to ride jet skis in the coming days, which Lily still couldn't believe her mom agreed to do. They were supposed to go on a nature walk soon, and Lily was teeming with excitement. She took a picture of the view from the cabin and sent it to Emma. The response was nearly immediate. 

**Emma:** That's fucking beautiful. 

**Emma:** We just landed btw.

 **Emma:** Regina can be vicious

 **Emma:** It's terrifying 😳😩😩

Lily read the texts and chuckled. 

**Lily:** Was someone in your seat?

 **Emma:** Worse….they put us in….ECONOMY. 

**Emma:** I didn't care, but she did. It was TERRIFYING!

 **Lily:** Oh, yes. She's super picky about flights and seats and shit. 

Lily pocketed her phone and went to shower. It was nice to wash the travel off. It'd been a long trip. They'd opted to drive, which wasn't a bad trip, around six hours. The weather was beautiful, and they had the windows down for most of the drive. They talked about a bunch of different things, and Lily had arrived at the cabin feeling really good about the getaway. She wouldn't let a few text messages change that. 

She got dressed in the bathroom before going to look for her mom, ready to get the trip started. She wanted to explore and maybe get some pictures with her phone. Lily walked through the cabin and didn't see her mom anywhere. When she peeked out the window, she saw her standing out front. She opened the door but stopped immediately. 

"I need to do this, spend time with her. I really hurt her, Rose, and I have to fix it….You know I do…. Don't say that, it's not true and we both know, I told you about this trip weeks ago, I told you before I told her….I’ll make it up to you, but I won't be available while I'm here…. I'm not blaming you for anything! We'll talk when I get home….I do love you…. I'm supposed to be going on a nature walk with Lily right now, I need to go….. Okay, okay, I'm listening." 

Lily closed the door gently and backed away slowly. She went out onto the patio and willed the tears away. She didn't even know why she was upset. She stared out at the lake. It was lovely. She sat on the comfy teardrop patio chair and let it swing her gently. Her phone vibrated in her pocket.

**Ma:** Hello, my love. I got your text, and I'm glad you're safe. I hope you and your mother have a great time. Being home alone was harder than I thought, so I decided to take a last-minute trip. I'll be back before you get home. I love you, dear. 

Lily couldn't help but find the text amusing, even with how crappy she was feeling. She couldn't wait to stop having to pretend to be clueless. It was getting boring, but Emma thought it would be best to wait before telling Regina that Lily knew about them, and Lily was trying to be patient. It was hard, but she was willing to do it. 

**Lily:** Your secret is safe with me. Have a good trip. I love you too. 

She saw she had another text and of course, it was from Emma. 

**Emma:** It was only about 4 hours. We would have been fine. The plane wasn't even full. 

**Lily:** So you didn't like flying first class?

 **Emma:** I didn't say that.

Lily snorted and sent over an emoji before locking her screen. She looked at the lake and could see a few different families out there. They looked happy and free. She sighed, a speck of envy nestling itself in her heart. She wanted that, wanted normalcy. 

"Hey, lovebug, Ready to go exploring?"

Lily looked up and made herself smile. She knew she hadn't been successful because her mother narrowed her eyes immediately. 

"Yeah. Let's go.”

* * *

"Emma!" 

"August!" 

She didn't fight the hug, even though she wasn't much of a hugger. It'd been nearly two years since she'd last seen him in person, and though he was a pain in the ass, she missed him. He was the closest thing to family she had, except for David and MM. They'd been in multiple homes together, running into each other over the years before he aged out, and she was adopted. He'd taken to writing and really was trying to make it work. 

"Look at you, not so scrawny anymore!" He squeezed her deltoid and then her bicep, but Emma slapped his hand away and shoved him playfully. 

"You still have shit on your face, I see." The jeer caused another fit of laughter. "So, there's someone I want you to meet." She motioned toward Regina, who'd stayed over by the baggage claim to give them privacy. She looked gorgeous, which was ridiculous because they'd just gotten off a plane.

"August, this is Regina. Regina, this is August." 

Emma watched August look Regina up and down before extending his hand for her to shake. 

"Damn." Emma punched his arm. "Sorry, nice to meet you." 

Regina smirked and rolled her eyes, amused. "Likewise." 

August turned to Emma. "I see why the ruse. I wouldn't tell anyone about her either. I'd definitely want to keep her to myself."

"August, please shut up." 

He laughed. "All right, all right, let's take the selfie, then I have to get going, but we're still having dinner Tuesday night, right?"

"Yes, we are." 

"Good." They took multiple photos, and he hugged her again before leaving the airport. 

"Well, he's….interesting."

Emma smiled, and she loaded their three bags onto a cart. "That's one word for him." 

"It was very kind of him to come all the way to the airport to take pictures with you." 

"Yeah, he's an asshole, but we're family. Have been since I was about two."

"Well, I'm glad you have him." She smiled at Emma and got one in return. "We should head over to the rentals and pick up the car." 

* * *

"Mom, I can't believe you wiped out like that." Lily tried hard not to laugh too hard at her mom, but she failed. The wipeout had been spectacular like she could have gone viral if someone filmed it. She wished she could see it in slow-mo; it was **that** funny. She tried to hide the giggle, but she failed. Miserably. 

"It wasn't _that_ funny, Lily." 

"Yes, it was. If you could've seen your face, you'd be laughing too." 

"Doubtful." 

Lily stifled another fit of laughter as she continued to enjoy her dinner. She watched her mother move around in the kitchen, the most relaxed she'd seen her in a long time. She pulled her phone out. 

**Lily:** I know we said we weren't gonna text each other as much because we're supposed to be enjoying our trips but…. I wish I could've filmed my mom's complete wipeout while we were jet skiing today. Em, it was so. Damn. Funny. 

**Emma:** Mal was on a ….JET SKI????

Lily nearly spit her water out. She could hear Emma saying it in her head. Her mom looked over at her, but she just pointed at her phone, trying to tell her that she wasn't still laughing about what happened earlier, which was technically a lie, but besides the point. 

**Emma:** You haven't texted me in literal days. This is fine. Regina is in the shower anyway. So...Skis? Mal? Tell me everything.

Lily chuckled and picked up her plate. "I'm going to go eat on the back patio, okay?" 

"You better not tell Blondie what happened!" 

Lily didn't respond as she left the dining room. She got comfy in her new favorite chair and Face Timed Emma. 

"Tell me what happened." 

Lily laughed. "Well, hello to you too." 

"Come on. I don't know how much longer she’ll be in the shower! Tell me what happened...wait, what are you eating?" 

"What do you want to know? What I'm eating or what happened?"

Emma scoffed. "What happened, duh." 

Lily put a forkful of food in her mouth and chewed slowly. Emma narrowed her eyes but didn't say anything. 

"Okay, we were jet-skiing, and I have to say, I had to beg, like literally beg to get her to do it, but she agreed. And everything was going pretty well. Honestly, she wasn't having any issues. Then, Em, I have no clue what she did, but I heard her squeal, like a real squeal, and then I turned my head, and she was fucking flying off the jet ski, both legs in the air, a look of sheer terror on her face and splat. Face palmed in the water." 

Emma kept a straight face for all of two seconds before she was having the deepest belly-laugh ever. Her face turned red, and Lily was seriously worried about her health. 

"I've been laughing for hours." 

"I wish I could have seen that. Oh my god, I'm a little jealous I didn't see it." 

"It was absolutely glorious." 

Emma's chuckles petered off. "So, how's it going?" 

Lily chewed her mouthful and nodded. "Good. The first day was kind of off, but you know that. She's really been trying these last couple days. We spent all day together today. Yesterday we went swimming in the pool, and then we tanned a little—the day before, we went on a group bike ride, which was a lot of fun. Tomorrow we're leaving the harbor and exploring the nearby town. It's been nice. You?" 

Lily watched Emma look over her shoulder and then leave the room. "It's been good. We have dinner with August tonight, and then a full day of I'm not sure what tomorrow. Then Thursday, we fly back. It's been pretty amazing. We've gone to the movies, gone bowling, she went shopping, I just held the bags, for the most part, she did make me try on some things. She's going to have to buy a suitcase because she brought two with her. Two suitcases! For five days. We had dinner at this amazing restaurant, holy shit, it was so good. We cooked last night. The first night she tried to take me to an oyster bar." 

"Em, oysters are so good, you have no idea." 

"It's snot. I’m not eating snot." Emma wrinkled her nose and faux heaved. 

Lily rolled her eyes. "You're a child." 

"We ended up going to a French restaurant instead, and my tastebuds were very pleased. We're supposed to be meeting August at Richmond Station. I have no idea what it is, but it has great ratings, and August's girlfriend works there, but I think she'll be joining us. I'm a little nervous." 

Lily put her bowl down, picked her phone up, and brought it closer to her face. "Why are you nervous?" 

"This whole trip made me nervous. Everything is up in the air, and I just...I don't know what it means. August is my past, and he knows about everything: things I haven't told her, shit, things I haven't told you." 

Lily nodded. "She's not going to judge you. She really likes you, Em. I know it's hard, but just go with it, yeah? I have like zero experience, but I know my mom, and she's not taking trips with someone she doesn't care about." 

Emma smiled. "Alright. Hey, have you talked to Mal yet?" 

Lily's eyes went wide, and she shook her head.

"Come on, Lils." 

"I know, I know, I just don't know how to start that conversation. It's...weird. And we've been having such a good time. I don't want to ruin it." 

"You won't ruin it, just—"

"Emma! What time are we supposed to meet August at the restaurant?" 

They both panicked. "Shit, gotta go. Talk to your mom!" 

Lily dropped her phone in her lap and groaned. She didn't want to do it, but she knew Emma was right. It had to happen, but maybe it could wait.


	5. Chapter 5

Regina stood in front of the mirror, uncertain. Was it too much? Should she be attempting to impress August? She knew he thought she was attractive, but that didn’t mean much. Did he agree with what they were doing? How much weight did his opinion carry? Could his disapproval ruin them before they even got started? 

She tried to shake it off. They were going to dinner, and they would have a nice time. The entire trip thus far had been perfect. Their first night, they went to dinner and didn’t have to hide. She fed Emma pasta, and they shared a dessert and a bottle of wine. It was beautiful. They walked hand and hand under the stairs. She kissed Emma when she felt like it without worrying about who was watching. They slept in bed together, unbothered. She enjoyed it, maybe too much. She’d woken up to mussed hair, and Emma watched her do yoga. It was domestic, and Regina loved it. Regina had ensured there was a guitar in the house, and the pure joy on Emma’s face when she’d seen the acoustic in the living room had been worth the hassle. Emma had tuned it and played for Regina. It’d been a lovely three days, and she was a little saddened by how soon it would end. 

“Well, you look gorgeous.” 

Emma came up behind her and kissed her shoulder before zipping up her dress. They watched each other in the mirror.  
  


“Don’t look at me like that. We need to be leaving now,” Regina warned. 

“I didn’t do anything. What are you even talking about?” 

The faux innocence game didn’t work. Regina knew that look, far too well. While they’d spent time out and about in the city, they’d spent quite a bit of time inside, exploring one another, making up for the lost time. Regina was sure they hadn’t slept more than five hours a night since they got there, but she wasn’t complaining, not when she knew how irregular their intimacy was back home. 

“Emma, come on, we need to be going.” 

Emma didn’t say anything, just reached around Regina and grabbed the hem of her dress. It was lace and flowy at the bottom. The warmth of Emma’s fingers on her inner thigh made her knees tremble. Emma kissed just below her ear as she made contact with her panties. 

“Dammit, Emma.” 

Emma didn’t look away, so Regina felt compelled to watch her; eyes lust-blown, fingers slowly unraveling Regina’s resolve. The first swipe against her needy clit nearly made her fall over, but Emma was strong and held her up. She worked her over slowly as if they had all the time in the world, as if they weren’t expected at dinner in 30 minutes, but Regina wouldn’t dare ask her to stop. How could she, when emerald eyes held hers captive? 

She cupped Emma’s neck and rocked against a teasing hand. Her breathing hitched as Emma touched her gently yet with absolute determination. Small sounds escaped Regina’s lips. 

“Emma, please.” 

Another soft kiss and then her tongue darted out, tracing the shell of Regina’s ear. Two fingers slid inside her, and she immediately saw stars. Her knees buckled, but Emma’s arm tightened around her, keeping her upright. Those delicious fingers didn’t stop their exploration inside her and she was nearing another orgasm immediately. It was like she was a teenager with no self-control when Emma touched her. She never wanted her to stop, and when Emma curled her fingers inside her and pressed her thumb to Regina’s swollen clit she squealed and came hard on Emma’s hand. 

“Do we have to go to dinner?” Regina moaned, out of breath, wanting more. She always wanted more, and with gentle fingers coaxing her through her orgasms, she didn’t give a fuck about dinner. 

“Yes.” Emma slowed her movements until she was extracting her fingers, pulling a whimper from Regina. “You should probably take these off.” She fingered the lace of Regina’s panties. 

“That was cruel.” 

Emma smirked and slowly licked her fingers clean. “I’ll make it up to you after dinner. I want to taste the real thing anyway. 

“Emma.” Regina squeezed her thighs together and bit her bottom lip. “We’re not going to leave if you keep it up.” 

Emma kissed her pulse point then backed away. “I’m done. For now.” 

* * *

“How’s Blondie? Losing her mind without you?” 

Lily looked up to see her mom leaning against the patio doorway. She smiled up at her mom and shook her head. 

“She’s keeping herself occupied, trust me.” 

Mal chuckled and walked out onto the patio, gazing out at the water, a small smile on her face. “It is beautiful, isn’t it?” 

Lily took a deep breath and fiddled with her phone. Her mind was racing. She knew Emma was right, but she couldn’t ruin their trip. 

“What’s going on with you, lovebug?” Mal walked over to Lily and squatted in front of her.

Lily shook her head, but Mal didn’t let her look away. She gently gripped her chin and made Lily look at her. “Talk to me. I know something is bothering you and has been bothering you for a while.” 

“Mom, it’s fine.” 

“Lily…?” 

“It’s nothing.” 

“Lilith?"

“I know about Aurora’s mom!” It exploded out of her, and Mal looked stunned. She dropped her hand, releasing Lily’s face. 

“Lily.” She looked so guilty, and it only made it worse.

“I lost my best friend because you were sleeping with her mom, and she hated me, resented me for having a family while hers was ruined. I cried for months about it and all along, you knew. Then, you didn’t show up for the SOS. I know you were with her, she was more important than me, and you still haven’t said sorry. Like, really sorry. You’re doing all these things to show me you’re sorry, but you haven’t said it.” 

Mal looked stunned, “Lily….”

“And we’re here and the first day, literally eight hours after we left Storybrooke, she’s calling you, and you’re trying to console her and make her feel better, while your daughter is waiting for you.” 

Mal looked away, her jaw tightening. “I’m not proud of what happened.”

“Which part? Costing me a decade-long friendship? Or putting your girlfriend over your daughter?” 

Mal huffed and stood, and Lily thought she was going to storm off. It wouldn’t be the first time. They didn’t fight often, but when it happened, Mal was known to walk off to gather her thoughts. 

“I am sorry, Lily. I didn’t mean for my actions to hurt you. Rose and I...we’ve been….it’s so complicated and convoluted. I don’t have an excuse. I should’ve shown up. I know what SOS means, I fucked up, and I’m so sorry, lovebug.” 

Lily’s chin wobbled. “Why couldn’t you just leave? I was scared. I don’t use SOS for fun. Killian had a group with him. I didn’t know what was going to happen.” 

She’d been concerned. The band was with her, but there were four guys, possibly intoxicated. The Jones brothers were known for starting problems, and Peter and Felix always followed them. Emma has a temper, and even though she tried to keep it in check around Lily, it doesn’t always happen. She’d legitimately been worried about their safety. 

“I don’t know what to say. I should have come.” 

“But why didn’t you? You’re my mom, and I needed you.” 

Mal took a deep breath and began to pace. “I….I don’t know what you want me to say, Lily.”

“I want you to answer the damn question! Why didn’t you come?” Lily could feel the tears slide down her cheeks, but she didn’t care. She was hurt, yes, but she was also angry. She didn’t want excuses; she wanted an answer. It was odd to feel such a strange mix of feelings. It was even harder to feel them for her mother. 

“I knew it was Emma! I knew it was Emma, and I wasn’t going to be at **her** beck and call. I’m not her mother,” Mal spat, no longer pacing. Her cheeks were pink, and her nostrils flared. Lily knew things had been tense; she could even go so far as to assume why there was a sudden disdain for Emma, but in no way was Emma a valid excuse for not showing up when Lily needed her. 

Lily narrowed her eyes. “But, you didn’t.” 

“I knew you were with her. There are a few things I don’t like about Blondie, but I know she’ll protect you. You were at the diner, and you were with the band, it had to have been Emma.” 

“So….fucking Rose was more important than coming to make sure I was ok, even if you thought it was Emma?” The question hung in the air like a pungent smell. 

“Watch your mouth.” 

“Fuck that,” Lily snarled, her cheeks flushed, her eyes wet. 

“Lilith Fire!”

“Mills! I’m a Mills, too. _She_ actually showed up. She **always** shows up.” It was unfair, but Lily didn’t care anymore. 

Mal recoiled. “Watch yourself, young lady.” 

“Whatever. You should go check to see if your girlfriend’s called. I know how important she is.” Lily stood up, and Mal grabbed her arm. She snatched it away, not wanting to talk anymore. 

* * *

“How long have you two been dating?” Ansley, August’s girlfriend, asked. Emma took a drink from her IPA, unsure what the correct answer to that question was. They weren’t dating, at least not officially. ' _Something like that_ ' had been Regina’s answer, but Emma felt like they were dating; shewas definitely dating Regina. 

“We’ve been spending time together for about four months now, nearly five, I think.” There was a question in her statement,

and when Emma looked at her, she could see her waiting for confirmation. 

“Yeah, about that.” Emma took another drink while Regina sipped her wine. 

“What’s that mean? Spending time together?” August asked, before taking a pickle off of the charcuterie board. Emma glared at him, but he ignored her. He was watching Regina. To her credit, Regina didn’t shy away from a question. 

“Exactly as I said. We haven’t labeled our relationship as of yet.” 

August tilted his head, and Emma knew that look in his eyes. He was up to something. “Five months is a long time to be uncertain.” 

Regina smiled. “I never said I was uncertain.” 

“You said you hadn’t labeled your relationship.” 

“Which isn’t the same thing as being uncertain,” Regina explained, a touch of amusement in her eyes. 

“Why haven’t you labeled it yet?”

“August,” Emma said, between clenched teeth. He looked at her as if he were the picture of innocence before turning his sights back to Regina. 

“Babe, do you know what you wanna eat?” Ansley asked, pulling August’s attention to the menu. He allowed the distraction, but Emma knew he was far from done. She finished her drink and set it down a bit too forcefully. 

“Are you going to have the steak?” Regina didn’t look up from the menu. Emma just wanted to see her eyes. 

“I haven’t looked yet.” 

Regina leaned closer so Emma could look at her menu. 

“14 ounces is a lot of steak.” 

Regina smiled. “We could share it. I’m not terribly hungry. We had a late lunch, and I know you love a good steak.” 

Emma leaned closer to her and kissed her temple. “You ok?” 

Regina nodded ever so slightly and placed her hand on Emma’s thigh, a small smile at the corner of her lips. Emma leaned forward and kissed her, unable to help herself. She liked having the freedom to do it, and she also liked the way Regina’s face lit up every time she did it. She would miss the privilege of kissing Regina whenever she felt like doing so. 

Emma watched while Regina got the attention of their waitress and ordered their dinner. Ansley ordered for herself and August and chatted with her co-worker, while the waitress cleared the table. Emma kicked August under the table, getting his attention. She glared at him, and he shrugged, taking a drink of water. 

“What say you, Regina?” 

Emma exhaled, annoyed. “You don’t have to answer his questions. He’s just being a pain in the ass right now.” 

Regina smiled but didn’t look at Emma. “I don’t mind.” 

“See Em, she doesn’t mind.” He looked so pleased with himself, a shit-eating grin on his face. Emma wanted to punch him in it. “Well?” 

“We’re enjoying each other. I think that says it all.”

“So, not a relationship?” August pressed, arching his eyebrow. 

“August, cut it out,” Emma chimed in, her cheeks pink. She didn’t bring Regina to dinner to be grilled by August.

“We’re just having a conversation, Em. Why are you so defensive?” 

“It’s okay,” Regina whispered.

“No. August, I know you think you’re trying to help, but it’s none of your business.” 

“Em, you’re the only family I have. You are my business. Always.” 

Emma sighed, hating him for appealing to that side of her. The side of her that longs for family and knows that’s exactly what he is. This was such a stereotypical big brother move, and she knew that, but things were so uncertain. 

“I know, just...lay off, ok?” 

August huffed but nodded once, taking a long swallow of his drink. “So, you’re a doctor, Regina?” 

“A surgeon.” 

“What’s that like? Is it like the shows?” 

Regina chuckled, shaking her head, “Not usually, no. It’s exhausting and rewarding, exciting, and boring. I do love it, and lucky for my patients and me, I’m good at it.” 

The waitress came with their orders and placed the dishes on the table. The steak was massive, far more so than she thought it would be. Regina cut into it. 

“Nice and nearly ruined for you,” Regina joked, holding up the fork for Emma to take a bite.

Emma smirked and rolled her eyes. “I don’t want my steak moo-ing on the plate, sue me.” She took the bite, enjoying the flavors on her tongue. “It’s good.”

“It’d be better cooked medium rare, but even medium would be acceptable.” Regina took a bite. 

  
  


Ansley leaned forward. “August tells me you’re in a band.” 

Emma looked up from her shared plate and nodded. “Yeah, Pynk. We’ve been together for about two and a half years. We have a young, tenacious manager that’s working hard to help us.” 

Emma peeked over at Regina and saw the grin she was trying—and failing— to hide. “What do you guys play?” 

“A little of everything, honestly. We’re mostly, I guess, rock and country, but we like a lot of different things. I play guitar, both electric and acoustic. We have a drummer, a keyboardist, and another guitarist.” 

“They’re extremely talented,” Regina added, smiling over at Emma. 

“Oh, you’ve seen them play?” August asked.

Regina nodded, taking a bite from their plate. She chewed and washed it away with a drink from her glass. “Yes, a couple of times, and I’ve seen some of the videos online.” 

“Has Emma ever written a song for you, Regina?” Ansley asked, a giddy smile on her face. “August writes me things all the time.” 

“She has written me a song before. I think I’ve inspired one or two, also.” Regina gave Emma a coy smile. 

“More than one or two,” Emma murmured, cheeks flushed. If Regina knew just how many songs Emma’d written as of late because of her, Emma might just die. It was embarrassing. She was like a teenager with a crush. 

“That’s so sweet, Emma.” 

“Yeah, Em, do you write songs for all the women you spend time with?” August quipped, mischief in his eyes. 

Emma rolled her eyes. “I write when I’m inspired.” 

“Sometimes, you just need a little dignified inspiration,” Regina added. Emma snorted, recalling the moment Regina referenced, and the ensuing kiss. If she were honest, that moment started it all. 

“You’re not wrong.” Emma leaned over and kissed Regina and was pleasantly surprised when Regina slid her tongue into Emma’s mouth, but Emma didn’t stop. Kissing Regina was one of her favorite pastimes. 

When Regina pulled away, Emma cleared her throat and scratched the back of her neck. “Anyone want dessert?” 

* * *

Lily laid across the bed in her room, hugging a pillow. She’d already cried it out, and now she just felt drained. She wanted to call Emma, but she knew that wasn’t fair. Emma was at dinner, probably enjoying herself. She flipped through her contacts and stopped at a familiar number. It rang so long that Lily was going to give up. 

“Hey hot stuff, how’s your trip?” 

Lily sniffed, and then she was crying again. 

“Lily, talk to me. What’s going on? Are you all right?” Ruby sounded so concerned that it only made Lily cry harder. 

“I’m gonna switch to Facetime so I can see you, ok?” 

The notification came through, and Lily accepted it. 

“There’s my gorgeous girl. Hey, beautiful.” 

Lily laughed through her tears. “I look gross.” 

Ruby shook her head. “Impossible.” 

Lily smiled and wiped her nose on her pillow. 

“Ok, that was gross.” Ruby scrunched up her face, pulling another pearl of laughter from Lily. “What’s going on, babe?” 

Lily took a deep breath and began to explain what happened. Ruby was completely shocked, though she tried to maintain a neutral expression. Lily felt good, just getting it out. While Emma was her best friend, her friendship with Ruby had blossomed over the past few months. 

“Oh baby, that’s a-fucking-lot. I agree with Em. You needed to talk to her; you can’t just hold that in. She needs to know that she dropped the fucking ball and that her actions have consequences. Now, Aurora could have waited to tell you that. In the middle of your party was not the time or place for that conversation. I’m so sorry, babe. I wish I could give you a hug right now.” 

“I get to be upset, and it feels like she doesn’t get that.”

“You have every right to be upset, hun. You are not being irrational. She’s your mom, and you’re supposed to be her number one priority.” 

“Thanks, Rubes.” Lily smiled at her and received one in return. 

“Anytime. I hope you know that.” 

“I do, it’s why I called.” 

“Good, I’m glad you know you can come to me. About anything” 

“Yeah, I know. Thank you for—”

“—Lily?” 

Lily looked over at the door, her mother’s head poking in. She sighed and turned back to her phone. “I gotta go.” 

Ruby nodded and blew her a kiss before ending the call. 

“Can I come in?” 

Lily sat up, cross-legged on the bed. That was all the answer she could muster. Mal walked in and sat on the edge of the bed, giving Lily space. 

“I don’t want to fight anymore. I fucked up, and there are no excuses for that. I’m the furthest thing from perfect, Lily. You have no idea. There is so much I don’t know how to articulate, but I also know that you aren’t a child anymore. I snapped at you, and that’s unacceptable. If I’m going to be honest with you, and with myself, I was embarrassed. I was embarrassed when Regina confronted me and even more so when you did. You both think I’m so strong, but at that moment, you saw my weakness. Regina knows far too well what that means, and I’m so sorry that you had to learn what it means too. I hurt you, and I know words are not enough, but Lily, I’m sorry. Lovebug, I’m so sorry.” 

Tears were streaming down Mal’s face, and at that moment, Lily couldn’t be angry at her anymore. She could see how upset her mom was about what happened and her part in it. Lily crawled toward her mom, not stopping until she was curled up in Mal’s lap, with Mal's arms around her. Lily felt kisses on her forehead, and it just made her burrow closer. 

“I love you, lovebug.” 

“I love you too, mom.” 


	6. Chapter 6

"Dr. Mills, thank you so much." Jefferson shook her hand, all the while looking at Grace, who was still sleeping off the anesthesia. 

"No need to thank me, Jefferson. She sailed through, no issues. She's going to be sore for a few days. She'll be lethargic; it's common. She can engage in indoor play in about 3-5 days, but I'd avoid the playground for at least two weeks. She needs fluids. Water, apple juice, those little ice pops. Nothing hot, no sodas, and stay away from citrus. When she's ready for food, soft, easy to swallow, foods are best, like pudding, ice cream, yogurt, cream of wheat. Ginger will give you all of this information in writing." Regina stuck her hand in her coat pocket and pulled out her card to hand to Jefferson. "If you have any questions, big or small, call or text me." 

Jefferson nodded and went back to Grace's bedside. Regina checked the chart once more before leaving the room. She checked her phone and smiled. 

**Emma:** Missing you. I hope you're having an easy day at the hospital.

Regina bit her lip, trying to keep from grinning like an idiot in the middle of the hospital corridor. It'd been two weeks since their trip, and things were different. They both were a little more open with each other. Emma had taken to telling Regina she missed her and requesting to see her, and Regina's nerves about their budding relationship waned a little. 

"Mills? Are you leaving for the day?" 

Whale fell into step with her, and she fought the long-suffering sigh that begged to be released. "I am. I had the tonsillectomy scheduled, and before that, there was a debridement that came into the ER that I already took care of. I left notes with Ginger, and I don't have anything scheduled tomorrow, so I won't be in." 

"You could accept the job offer." 

"I could, but I'm not interested in being full-time. Being on call is just fine." 

"Ok, but I'm not going to stop asking." 

"That doesn't surprise me." 

He chuckled. "I'd love to take you to lunch." 

They walked into the lounge, where she began to gather her things. "I'm sure you would." 

"I won't stop asking about that either."

Regina stopped and turned to look at him. "I'd prefer it if you did. I enjoy my time here, and these conversations make it less enjoyable." 

Whale nodded, not in the affirmative, but the way a man nods when he doesn't like what a woman has to say. "Well then, enjoy the rest of your day." 

Regina didn't give him a response before leaving. Once she was in the parking garage, she pulled her phone out and called Emma, who answered almost immediately. 

"Hey, everything ok?" 

Regina smiled while getting in her car. "Hi, and yes. I'm leaving the hospital now." 

"Oh, ok. So, a good day?" 

Regina started the car and waited for the Bluetooth to register, "Yes, a pretty good day." 

It was silent as she backed out of her parking spot, and she could imagine Emma trying to figure out what to say. Regina decided to save her. "So, no band practice today?"

"Uh, no. Mulan and I are going to the gym soon, and Ruby, Merida, and Lily are going to get their nails done." 

"Self-care is important, Swan." 

"Yeah, I remember this speech." 

"It's nearly time for another pedicure." Taking Emma to get mani-pedis had been one of the more entertaining endeavors during their trip. 

Emma chuckled. "I'll go next time….what are you doing with the rest of your day?" 

"I'm definitely going to soak and have a glass of wine. There's a Zora Neale Hurston book with my name on it waiting for me at home." 

"A quiet evening in sounds nice." 

"I'd rather be spending the evening with you. I miss you." Regina held her breath after she said it. 

"I miss you too. I feel like I haven't seen you since we got back." 

They hadn't had any alone time since they'd been back from their trip. She missed that trip. She missed having Emma around all the time, and she missed holding her hand and kissing her. She missed the sex, too. They'd had great sex on that trip. Regina cleared her throat. 

"We have to fix that." 

"We really do," Emma agreed. 

Regina heard shuffling, then Emma yelled, ' _okay!'_

"Mulan just got here. I'll text you later, okay?" 

"Of course, enjoy your workout." 

The call ended, and Regina just took a moment to let the day melt away. She was excited about a nice shower and then a long soak. She stepped out of the car and headed inside, where she could hear Mal in the kitchen. There was a sense of deja vu for a moment before she shook it off. She left her bag on the side table and went toward the kitchen. 

"Hey, I didn't expect you to be home." 

"I left Roni in charge. I've been working hard since coming back from Vermont with Lily, and I just need a break." 

"I know, you've barely been here." 

Mal hummed her response as she picked at her salad. "No band practice today? It's awfully quiet." 

"No, Lily is going for mani-pedis with some of the band." She left off Emma's whereabouts, figuring it was for the best. They'd had a tentative camaraderie happening since their chat, and Emma always seemed to put Mal in a foul mood. Regina was no fool; she knew that Mal suspected what was happening, but the guilt she once felt just wasn't there anymore. 

"That's good. Have you—"

Regina's phone ringing interrupted them, and Regina mouthed ' _sorry,'_ while digging in her pocket to pull it out. 

"Hi Regina, it's Jasmine. I hope you're doing well." 

Regina's stomach dropped. "Jasmine. Hello, uh, what can I do for you?" 

"I'm calling to tell you the Nisi period is over. Your divorce is legitimately final. I know when you left Boston, we'd signed all the paperwork, but as you know, there were claims by your ex-husband that prolonged the process. I already requested your divorce decree, and I mailed it to the address you left for me. I know this was a hard-fought battle, but Marian's pregnancy helped end all the senseless back and forth. It's over. You are officially a divorcee." 

Regina's mouth felt dry, and her head was spinning. She thought she'd be sick. Marian's pregnancy was a punch to the gut, and the proceedings around their divorce had been nasty toward the end and one of the reasons she'd left Boston. 

"Thank you, Jasmine." 

"You're welcome, Regina. I wish you all the best." 

Regina felt numb. It was over. Her hand shook as she moved it away from her face. 

"Regina, what's wrong?" 

She couldn't formulate words. She felt stuck. Mal walked around the island. "Regina? Say something."

"I, uh, I'm officially divorced." She tried to laugh it off, but she felt like a boulder was lodged in her throat. Her chest felt tight, and she was struggling to catch a breath. She didn't understand why she was reacting so viscerally, but her body wasn't listening to her mind. 

"You have to breathe. Regina, take a breath." Mal held her face and wiped tears away with her thumbs. "Regina, you're going to make yourself pass out if you don't take a damn breath." 

Regina inhaled deeply, more tears pouring from her eyes. She was still shaking, her mind racing. She was happy, so why did she feel like her world was ending? 

"It's ok." Mal wrapped Regina in a hug, holding her close. She rubbed her back and murmured loving words to her. It was soothing, but Regina could still feel herself spiraling. 

"What do you need, Regina? Tell me what to do, and I'll do it." 

She didn't know what she needed. Comfort? Love? Affection? A distraction? That might work. Mal had always been so good at distracting her. She could do it again. 

"I need…." She couldn't do it again. There was a blonde, a different blonde currently at the gym, who was the distraction she needed. The distraction she wanted. She didn't want empty sex with Mal. 

She extracted herself from Mal's embrace. "I just need some space." 

For once, Mal didn't argue. Regina grabbed her phone off the island and left the kitchen. When she was in her room, she fell onto the bed and let herself cry. It was a much-needed cry. A cry for the life she'd thought she was building and its ending. A cry for the children she couldn't give him. A cry for the man she thought she'd love for the rest of her life. A cry for failing, because that's what her divorce felt like. She didn't fight the varying emotions; they needed to happen. She had to release it, release him. She told herself she wasn't crying for him. She was cleansing herself of the pain he caused. 

She didn't know how long she laid in bed, cleansing herself of her ex-husband, but when the tears dried up, she felt better. She opened her laptop and found Pynk's Youtube channel. She clicked on a video she hadn't watched yet. It was just Emma and an acoustic guitar. 

_Beauty queen of only eighteen she_

_Had some trouble with herself_

_He was always there to help her, she_

_Always belonged to someone else_

_I drove for miles and miles and wound up_

_At your door_

_I've had you so many times but somehow I want more_

Regina smiled at the screen, watching Emma sing. She was stunning. Her voice was so soft and pretty but full of feelings. 

_Tap on my window, knock on my door, I_

_Want to make you feel beautiful_

_I know I tend to get so insecure_

_It doesn't matter anymore_

_It's not always rainbows and butterflies_

_It's compromise that moves us along yeah_

_My heart is full, and my door's always open_

_You can come anytime you want yeah_

She was in awe of her, so talented and sincere. It was so evident, every time Regina watched Emma play, that she loved it. When the video ended, she went scrolling through the videos, finding a newer one, posted a month ago. Another acoustic guitar, but this time it was Emma and Ruby. 

_"Ok, so we posted over on IG that you could send us songs you wanted to see us play. Since Emma likes a challenge, she chose Sunflower. Don't judge us, we don't quite know all the words, but here it is."_

Regina chuckled as they began to exaggerate their vocalizing at the beginning of the song. They sang most of the beginning of the song together before Emma got a little solo. 

_Thinkin' in a bad way, losin' your grip_

_Screamin' at my face, baby, don't trip_

_Someone took a big L, don't know how that felt_

_Lookin' at you sideways, party on tilt_

_Ooh-ooh, some things you just can't refuse_

_She wanna ride me like a cruise and I'm not tryna lose_

Regina recognized the song from the radio. It was very different from what she knew them to play, but she liked it. Ruby and Emma always sounded nice together. 

When the video, ended she found one from the show in Ellsworth. Merida led the song, which was a surprise. She didn't often do that from what Regina had seen. 

_If you think you're gonna hear how much I miss ya_

_If you're needin' to feel better 'bout yourself_

_If you're wantin' to hear me say I forgive you_

_'Cause the tequila turned you into someone else_

_If you're looking for one more chance_

_A little stand by your man_

The entire band sang the chorus together. Emma smiled over at Ruby, who oozed sex while performing. 

_Tell me boy was she worth every minute_

_I hope you had the time of your life_

_You made your bed, now go lie in it_

_All I got to say to you is goodbye_

_How'd you think I'd react_

_Saying baby come back_

Again the band sang the chorus together, and then Emma played a very sexy solo before Ruby sauntered over to Merida, and they sang together.

_Everybody makes mistakes_

_We can work it out_

_Wouldn't it be nice if that's what I was singing now_

When the video ended, Regina closed her laptop, missing Emma more than ever. 

* * *

Emma walked upstairs after having dinner with David and MM. She'd been invited out to Marco's with the band, but just didn't feel like socializing. She'd texted Regina a few times that evening and hadn't heard anything back. She was a little bummed about that. When she got into her room, she immediately checked her phone. She had a missed call and a text message, both from Regina. 

**Regina:** I want to see you, so I got room 6 at Granny's. I hope you can join me.

Emma's eyes widened. She grabbed a backpack and tossed a pair of shorts, a tank top, and a clean pair of boyshorts in it, along with her phone charger and wallet. When she went back downstairs, neither David nor MM was around. She heard the shower and figured they were in there together. She pulled her phone out and shot off a quick text before grabbing her keys and leaving. 

She rode over to Granny's but parked in the alley. She was one of the only motorcycle riders in the small town, and Regina's Mercedes was parked out front. She went in through the back door and up the back staircase. Emma knocked on the door to room six and waited, but it didn't take long for the door to open. 

"Hi, I didn't know if you'd show up." 

Emma smiled and stepped into the room, pulling Regina into her arms. Regina kissed her immediately, and Emma would be lying if she said she hadn't missed it. Regina felt soft and warm, and Emma didn't want to let her go. Regina moaned softly, and Emma reached down, picking up Regina easily. Lucky for her, Regina was utterly unphased and just wrapped her legs around Emma's hips. 

"I missed you," Regina whispered, and Emma thought she sounded sad. She pulled back to look into Regina's eyes. 

"I missed you too." 

Regina leaned back in, kissing her again, but Emma could sense something was off. It was too similar to the kiss the day after the SOS incident. She walked them over to the couch in the room and sat down, with Regina ending up in her lap. 

"Hey, talk to me." Emma cupped Regina's cheek and looked into her eyes. She'd been crying. It was apparent when they were that close. 

"My divorced was finalized today," Regina breathed, her eyes shining. A single tear slipped from her left eye, and Emma wiped it away. She didn't quite know how to help with that, but she hugged Regina close. 

"I'm not sad about it, not for the reasons one would assume anyway. I don't miss him. I was glad to divorce him, but it means I failed, and I don't like to fail."

"You didn't fail. I didn't know him, but clearly he's a fucking idiot. You are such a great person with a big heart. It's his loss."

Regina chuckled wetly. "Thank you." She kissed Emma's nose. "How was your workout?" 

"Really good, actually. It felt good to get in there, and Mulan is a great workout partner." 

"I watched some of the band's Youtube videos tonight." 

Emma's eyes widened, and she smiled. "Yeah?" 

"Yes. I watched some at the house, but then I got here, and I didn't know if you were coming, so I had to occupy myself. I really like _What If I Was Willing_. I watched that video twice. I liked the acoustic corner videos. The _Sunflower_ one was cute. I liked the _Friends_ one, too." 

"Lily likes that song a lot, and it was fun to sing with Mulan. She's usually hiding behind the drums, so it was nice to have her up front with me." 

"You all are so talented." 

"Thank you." 

Regina crawled out of Emma's lap, and Emma tried not to whine, though she didn't think she was successful. Regina got comfortable on the other end of the couch. 

Emma pouted. "Why are you so far away?" 

"Because there's something I want to talk to you about, and I'll be too distracted if I'm sitting in your lap." 

"Ok." 

"I know I've said this several times, but I really enjoyed the trip we took. It was so nice to just be with you, without worrying about who saw us." 

Emma nodded. "It was." 

"And it was nice to meet August." 

"Yes, even though he was an asshole." 

"I didn't think he was. He cares for you, and I respect that." Regina took a deep breath and ran her fingers through her hair. "Speaking of August….he asked me a lot of questions." 

"I know, and I'm sorry about that." 

"Don't be, I just, when he was asking me those questions, I realized that I didn't have answers to them."

Emma scrunched up her face. "I thought you answered them very well." 

"I gave non-answers and I…" Regina stopped herself, looking away. "I want to know the answers to those questions." 

Emma fiddled with her hands in her lap and bit down on her bottom lip. "What do you mean?" 

"What are we doing, Emma? I'm not in my 20s anymore. I'm officially divorced. If we're just having fun, I'm fine with that, but I just want to know. This terrifies me, but I **need** to know." 

Emma took a deep breath. "What do you want it to be?" 

Emma could feel the couch shift, and then Regina was touching her face, raising her chin. "It's just me. You can talk to me. What are we doing, Emma?" 

"I, uh, I don't know. I know that you're completely out of my league. I know that I'm lucky to breathe your air. You're a surgeon for fuckssake, and I'm the lead guitarist in an indie band, but that doesn't stop me from wanting you. If we're just having fun, if I'm a rebound, I'll take that. I understand if you're not interested in anything else." 

Regina smiled. "I don't think you're a rebound."

"I think I'm a textbook rebound, but that's ok." 

"I'm not just going to toss you aside." 

"Ok." 

Regina cupped Emma's chin, forcing her to look into beautiful brown eyes. "I mean that. I won't do that to you. Yes, we fuck like rabbits when we have the opportunity, but I genuinely enjoy your company. I love your band and your music. You're so talented Emma. I'm lucky to be in _your_ presence." 

Emma rolled her eyes. "Yeah, right." 

"I mean that, Emma." 

Emma exhaled shakily and closed her eyes. "It scares me how much I like you. I don't let myself care this much."

Emma heard Regina's breath catch, but she wasn't brave enough to open her eyes. 

"Look at me, please." 

Emma bit her lip and took a deep breath, summoning her courage, before opening her eyes and looking into Regina's.

"Just know that you're not alone. I'm afraid too. Emma, I think about you all the time. When I'm not with you, I'm thinking of ways to have you close to me. It's not just you. I promise." 

She was so earnest, Emma wanted to believe her. She had no experience with relationships. They'd never been something she was interested in. She had sex, sometimes with the same person regularly, but there were never feelings. No talks of what it meant, and when someone got too attached, Emma cut it off. She didn't want to give anyone that kind of power. She had no interest in heartbreak. If her own parents didn't want her, why would anyone else? If her own mother didn't love her, how the hell could she assume anyone else would?

"I can tell you're hesitant, and that's ok, but let's just try. Are you willing to try?" 

Emma took a deep breath before nodding once. Regina smiled and leaned in to kiss her. Her lips were soft, as was the kiss. It wasn't fueled by lust or the intense need to get naked. Regina kissed Emma like she was delicate, as if Emma would break should she be too rough. It made something swell in the pit of Emma's stomach. It scared her, but it seemed like that was something she would have to work on. 

Regina reached for her, pulling her until Emma was seated in Regina's lap. That was different, but she found that she didn't mind it. She'd said she would try, and she meant it. That meant allowing herself small bouts of vulnerability. 

Regina pulled at the hem of Emma's tank top, and Emma raised her arms so it could be pulled over her head. The shirt was discarded, and Emma leaned forward to kiss Regina again. Regina's hands were warm on her bare skin, and Emma couldn't fight the shudder that ran through her when Regina's nails scraped against her back. 

Emma rocked her hips against Regina as Regina's kisses moved south. She kissed her chin then trailed soft lips along Emma's jugular. The gasp was involuntary, as was the arching of her back. Regina pressed full lips to her pulse point, and Emma's eyes fluttered shut. Her breathing was ragged, and she didn't know if she could wait much longer. 

"Regina, please." 

Regina wrapped her arms around Emma's waist, and then she was standing. Emma squeaked, an uncharacteristically feminine sound, and she immediately wrapped her arms and legs around Regina. A husky chuckle filled her ears. 

"I've got you." 

Regina walked them to the bed, and when she lowered them, Emma didn't release her. She needed her close. Emma reached up, taking Regina's mouth, enjoying the sound Regina made in the back of her throat. She fisted her hands in chocolate tresses and rolled her hips. It wasn't enough friction. Even though her leggings were thin, she needed more. She needed Regina to touch her. 

To her credit, the brunette seemed to know, and she began to explore pale skin, kissing along the column of Emma's neck and nipping at her collarbone. Emma bit her lip at the feel of Regina's talented mouth. She reached under Regina's top, flesh against flesh. It was tortuous, the slow pace Regina set. Emma was powerless to speed it up. She was at the brunette's mercy, and when Regina circled a pink nipple with her tongue, Emma didn't know how much longer she'd be able to wait. 

"Shit, Regina." She cupped the back of Regina's head, holding her in place. She arched into Regina and gasped when she pressed her pelvis against Emma's. Long, muscled legs fell open, and once again, Emma's back bowed as she hoped for more contact. Regina granted her silent plea and thrust lightly against her. A soft, needy sound escaped Emma. She was being reduced to a puddle of desire, and she didn't mind. 

Regina sat back on her knees, and Emma whimpered, motioning for her to come back. Regina shook her head before pulling her top off. Emma reached up, letting her finger brush against Regina's rapidly rising chest. Regina grabbed her wrist, bringing Emma's hand toward her mouth, and flicked her tongue against the tip of Emma's middle finger before taking it into her mouth. Her tongue swirled around the digit, pulling a moan from somewhere deep in Emma. Regina chuckled with a mixture of amusement and arousal. 

Emma writhed while watching Regina's lewd display. She wanted to feel Regina's mouth on her. Maybe she said it out loud because then Regina was dropping Emma's wrist and reaching for her leggings. Emma raised her hips, allowing Regina to peel them off and toss them aside. Regina reclaimed her position on top of Emma. The fabric of Regina's silk pajama bottoms brushed against Emma's heated skin, causing her to shiver. She felt as if she were aflame, and the only person who could quell the fire was looking at her with promise in her eyes. 

Emma wanted to touch her, to feel if Regina was just as wet as she was. She pulled Regina to her, taking her by surprise, but not for long. She returned the kiss with fervor. Emma used that slight distraction to roll them over, placing Regina on her back. 

"My turn," Emma whispered against Regina's lips. 

Regina smirked. "I wasn't finished yet." 

In a show of strength that Emma was both surprised and aroused by, she was rolled onto her back once more. "Now, where was I?" 

Regina ran her hands from Emma's knee to the apex of her thighs. Emma whined as Regina's fingers teased the waistline of her boyshorts. She rolled her hips, feeling the back of Regina's hand brush against the seat of her underwear. A strangled sound fell from her lips. She was sure Regina would be the death of her. There was no way she would survive if Regina didn't touch her. Her body was vibrating at a frequency she'd never experienced before. All of her emotions hovered just below the surface, and if Regina kept looking at her like that, they would surely spillover.

Emma's breathing quickened when Regina leaned forward and kissed just below her belly button. Her body spasmed, and she cried out. 

"Please. _Please."_

Maybe Regina could sense that she was falling apart at the seams or that she would surely die if Regina didn't touch her. Either way, Regina pulled Emma's black boyshorts down her legs, and Emma nearly cried with joy. Her brain short-circuited when Regina cupped her sex, her hand warm and firm, the heel of her palm pressing against her needy clit. A string of expletives slipped from Emma, and then there was glorious contact where she needed it most. 

"Right about here, I think," Regina whispered as she sunk two fingers inside of Emma. 

"Holy shit!" She was coming, and nothing like that had ever happened to her before. Regina did **not** stop, and Emma didn't know if she could handle that. Her body was overloaded, and a surfeit of sensations washed over her as Regina continued her slow ministrations. Emma turned her head into the pillow, stifling her cries, then the impossible happened: she was coming again. Emma shrieked, her voice bordering on shrill as she convulsed. She was saying things, words were leaving her mouth, but she had no clue what she was saying. Black spots were clouding her vision, and she couldn't figure out why her cheeks were wet. 

Regina's motions had slowed until they were non-existent, and when Emma opened her eyes, Regina was watching her, something in her eyes she'd never seen before. Emma sat up and kissed Regina, pulling the woman close. Regina came willingly, maneuvering so that she was in Emma's lap. Their kisses made Emma lightheaded. She ran her nails down Regina's back, scraping against the lace of her bra. 

"Take it off," Regina demanded. 

Emma didn't need to be told twice. She unhooked the bra, pushing the straps from Regina's shoulders. They were pressed so close to one another that the bra stayed trapped between them. Emma leaned forward and kissed Regina's cleavage, her tongue darting out to taste Regina's sex-slick skin. A sound rumbled in Regina's throat, and she clutched a fistful of Emma's hair, holding her in place. As if there was anywhere Emma would rather be. Regina extracted the bra from between them, tossing it aside, and Emma immediately wrapped her lips around one of Regina's nipples. 

"Fuck." 

Emma released the nipple then laved attention on the other. Regina's hips seemed to move of their own accord. Emma understood that insistent need, and she reached between them, her main focus on giving Regina even a fraction of what Regina had previously given her. She kissed Regina's nipple before kissing her sternum. It was a bit overwhelming. Fast and efficient had always been her way, but she wanted to savor the moment. Regina deserved more than that. 

The seat of Regina's panties was saturated with arousal. Emma grabbed them and pulled forcefully, and the flimsy fabric was then limp in her fist. She cast it aside before sliding two fingers through slick folds. Regina shuddered in her arms and whispered her name. It was the softest sound, needy. Emma kissed Regina, slipping her tongue into Regina's mouth as she slid her fingers inside her. Regina's lips parted, her ability to kiss Emma temporarily gone. Regina wrapped her arms around Emma, her head thrown back, her hips moving in time with Emma's strokes. 

Emma was mindful of her pace and kept it slow while she watched Regina's expressions. She liked the way Regina bit her lip and closed her eyes. The vein in her forehead was raised as she rolled her hips, effectively fucking herself on Emma's fingers. Regina gripped the back of Emma's neck, pulling them close. It was clumsy but perfect. Regina faltered, and Emma felt Regina's walls fluttered around her fingers. Regina gasped, and Emma felt the sting of Regina's nails along her shoulders. She didn't speed up, not wanting to rush Regina through her orgasm. 

Regina pulled away, resting her head against the side of Emma's neck. Her breath was warm against Emma's skin, her cries of passion music to Emma's ear. 

"Oh, god."

And then Emma watched as Regina came apart. It was beautiful. Her voice was harsh with the edge of reverence as she wailed Emma's name. Regina shook in Emma's arms as her orgasm rocked through her. It made Emma feel warm all over, and she desperately wanted more of Regina. She was sure the feeling was mutual. When her movements began to slow, Emma followed suit—slowing her strokes until she wasn't moving at all. Regina sat up then, her eyes wild and alight. She pushed Emma back against the bed and smiled down at her. With Regina astride her, Emma could feel her desire rising, and the soft rocking of Regina's hips helping her along. Regina leaned to the side, slipping one of her legs under Emma. When Regina surged forward, pressing their drenched cores together, Emma's eyes rolled back. They moved in tandem, both racing to the edge. Regina reached for her hand, interlocking their fingers. It was such a simple action, but in the moment, the intimacy of it made Emma's heart swell. She could feel herself peaking, the precipice within reach. Her body felt hot all over, and then her vision flashed white. She rolled her hips aggressively, wanting to pull the same reaction from Regina. 

"Yes. Emma… _fuck."_

Regina bucked against her, and then they were coming together, both shuddering and writhing, a cacophony of sounds swirling together as they called for one another. 

When the waves passed, Emma felt light, as if she weighed nothing. Her breathing was ragged, and she struggled to keep her eyes open. She could feel Regina moving, but she couldn't muster the energy even to pull her back. The last thing she saw was Regina's smile, and then the room went dark. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Featured Songs * in order of appearance
> 
> She Will Be Loved- Maroon 5  
> Sunflower- Post Malone & Swae Lee  
> Wrong Song- Nashville Cast


	7. Chapter 7

“Is that a hickey?” Ruby asked, touching just behind Emma’s ear. Emma blushed while Lily gagged a little. Merida chuckled, and Mulan didn’t seem to be paying attention to them. Emma hadn’t known there was a hickey behind her ear, but it didn’t surprise her. She’d found several, but for the most part, they were all easily covered. 

“It’s so dark! It looks like someone assaulted you! Damn Em, who marked you? Was it Tink?” 

“Can we please talk about something else?” Lily whined, setting up the camera on the tripod. Emma shot Lily an apologetic look, but Lily just shook her head, an expression of amusement and disgust on her face. Emma couldn’t blame her. 

“No, it wasn’t Tink. Jeez, why do you always think it’s Tink?” 

“She’s the last person we’ve seen you with. So, who’s the mystery girl?” Ruby questioned, reaching out to touch the hickey again. Emma jerked away, glaring up at Ruby. 

“You’re really not gonna tell me?” Emma’s silence was Ruby’s only answer. “Ella?” 

“No.”

“Ashley?” 

“No.”

“Huh, what about Tiana? She’s hot and a little intimidating.”

“No, Ruby.” 

“Ay, knock it off. Leave Em alone.” Merida called, throwing a pillow at Ruby. 

Ruby threw her hands up. “Fine. Fine! Have your secrets. Are we nearly ready to record?”

“I think so,” Lily answered, adjusting the tripod, then checking the placement of the ring light. Emma thought that was a frivolous purchase, who cared how the light looked in the video if they sounded good, but she’d been outvoted, so they’d spent $100 of the band’s finances on the damn thing. Everyone had been excited when it arrived, even Mulan, which confused everyone. The usually stoic drummer shrugged off their teasing and insisted on being the first one to use it. 

Ruby sat down in a chair in front of the camera, “why’d you have to choose an impossible song for me to sing? Lily, I thought you loved me.” Ruby smirked at Lily, and Lily stuck her tongue at Ruby. They watched each other for a moment, and Emma made a mental note to talk to Lily about what the hell that meant. 

“It’s different. People really liked the _Sunflower_ video, and Ariana Grande is a pretty big deal. You all said you wanted to do more than Nickelback covers, so we’re branching out.” 

“You’ll be great, Ruby,” Mulan added, rubbing her shoulder gently. 

Ruby laced her fingers with Mulan and smiled up at her. “Thanks. I really appreciate it.” 

Mulan smiled and went to sit on the couch, her phone in hand. Ruby was so confusing, Emma could hardly tell if she was interested in Mulan, Lily, Dorothy, or Gus, but she had to give it to her, she kept her options open. Emma could respect that. She moved her guitar, setting it against her leg, and pulled her phone out.

**Emma:** You left a hickey behind my ear!

She wondered if Regina knew she’d done it. Their night together had been pretty intense. Emma still couldn’t believe all the things she let Regina do to her. She’d never been so open, both figuratively and literally, to anyone before. Her phone chimed in her hand. 

**Regina** : Would you like an apology?

Emma chuckled at her phone before responding. 

**Emma:** Not really, no. I enjoyed you putting it there. 💦💦

 **Regina:** It’s been three days. It should be nearly gone by now. 

**Emma:** Apparently, it’s REALLY dark. Guess I’ll have it for a while. 

Emma realized that at dinner the night after she was with Regina, both David and MM had been a little weird. Maybe they saw her hickey. She needed to get her own place. 

She put her phone on silent and slid it into her pocket. “Ready, Rubes?” 

“Merida, get over here!” Ruby grabbed her hand, making her sit in the chair next to her. “These were your idea, and you’ve only done one of them.”

Merida rolled her eyes. “You’re dramatic, and I don’t know the song.” 

“Bullshit. It’s in your 'on repeat’ on Spotify.” 

Merida blushed but didn’t deny it. “Fine, you do the first bit, then I’ll do the second. We can sing the chorus together.” 

Lily smiled and reframed the shot on the camera. She counted them down and then began recording. 

“Hello, hello, everyone! Welcome back to another Acoustic Corner. It’s your resident band hottie with our fiery keyboardist Merida, and the suave, sexy Emma. All right, so you guys sent in your choices for this week’s song, and @Godis_ArianaG sent in _God is a Woman_. This is far out of the realm of anything we’ve ever done, but we’re doing it. Please don’t forget to like this video and subscribe to our channel and follow us on Instagram @Pynk_theband.” Ruby smiled at the camera and then looked over at Emma, who took that as her cue to begin.

_You, you love it how I move you_

_You love it how I touch you_

_My one, when all is said and done_

_You'll believe God is a woman_

_And I, I feel it after midnight_

_A feelin' that you can't fight_

_My one, it lingers when we're done_

_You'll believe God is a woman_

Merida smiled into the camera as she began to sing. 

_I don't wanna waste no time, yeah_

_You ain't got a one-track mind, yeah_

_Have it any way you like, yeah_

_And I can tell that you know I know how I want it_

_Ain't nobody else can relate_

_Boy, I like that you ain't afraid_

_Baby, lay me down and let's pray_

_I'm tellin' you the way I like it, how I want it_

They sang the pre-chorus together. 

_(Yeah)_

_And I can be all the things you told me not to be_

_(Yeah)_

_When you try to come for me, I keep on flourishing_

_(Yeah)_

_And he see the universe when I'm the company_

_It's all in me_

Emma and Ruby fell off, leaving Merida to sing the chorus. 

_You, you love it how I move you_

_You love it how I touch you_

_My one, when all is said and done_

_You'll believe God is a woman_

_And I, I feel it after midnight_

_A feelin' that you can't fight_

_My one, it lingers when we're done_

_You'll believe God is a woman_

Ruby looked over at Emma as the second verse came around. Emma took a deep breath before singing. 

_I'll tell you all the things you should know_

_So, baby, take my hand, save your soul_

_We can make it last, take it slow,_

_And I can tell that you know I know how I want it, yeah_

_But you're different from the rest_

_And girl, if you confess, you might get blessed_

_See if you deserve what comes next_

_I'm tellin' you the way I like it, how I want it_

Ruby and Merida sang the per-chorus and chorus together, while Emma ad-libbed the vocals. 

_(Yeah)_

_And I can be all the things you told me not to be_

_(Yeah)_

_When you try to come for me, I keep on flourishing_

_(Yeah)_

_And he see the universe when I'm the company_

_It's all in me_

_You, you love it how I move you_

_You love it how I touch you_

_My one, when all is said and done_

_You'll believe God is a woman_

_And I, I feel it after midnight_

_A feelin' that you can't fight_

_My one, it lingers when we're done_

_You'll believe God is a woman, yeah, yeah_

Merida took the ad-lib role while Emma and Ruby sang the ending. They both smiled over at Merida as she hit all the high notes beautifully. 

_Yeah, yeah_

_(God is a woman, yeah)_

_My one_

_(One)_

_When all is said and done_

_You'll believe God is a woman_

_You'll believe God_

_(God is a woman)_

_Oh, yeah_

_(God is a woman, yeah)_

_(One)_

_It lingers when we're done_

_You'll believe God is a woman_

The song ended, and Lily let the camera run for a little, getting some authentic band moments before stopping it. Emma winked over at her. 

“That was so damn good! Holy shit, you guys didn’t even practice that with Merida.” Lily applauded. 

“We sounded so good, holy shit. Merida, damn girl, you let the pipes loose for this. I loved how you changed it to make it more you. You have to do more acoustic corners. You fucking **have** to,” Ruby exclaimed. 

“Ay, stop it, we were all great.” 

“No, serious Mer, you were pretty fucking perfect,” Emma added.

“Uh, guys. Guys! We should do this!” Mulan jumped up off the couch and walked over to them. 

“Looking for new artists, bands, and groups. Submit a cover of a song that shows what you can do. We look forward to hearing your music.” Mulan showed them her phone, eyes bright with enthusiasm.

“Geffen Records? Who are they?”

“Does it matter?” Mulan asked.

“They don’t have much a social media presence but...holy fucking shit. They’re owned by Universal Music Group. Marshmello is one of their artists! They literally have all types of artists,” Ruby squealed. 

“They’ve represented everyone from Ashlee Simpson to Cher. Guys, as your manager, I demand that you enter this contest!” 

“I think we should do it, guys,” Merida said with a huge smile on her face. 

“Hell yeah, we should,” Ruby exclaimed.

“We have to at least try,” Mulan added.

They all looked at Emma, waiting for her answer. It wasn’t like she had the final say, they were a team, and they always voted on things. She smiled at them. 

“That’s a majority vote even without me.” 

“Come on, Em. Tell us what you think,” Lily urged. 

“Yeah, Em, talk to us,” Ruby added, pulling Lily into her lap and resting her chin on her shoulder. 

She looked at them all one at a time before exhaling and letting a little smile show on her face. “What exactly are the rules?” 

They all cheered and were overall being ridiculous, but Emma couldn’t help but smile with them. They were like the siblings she never had, and she loved them. Mulan began reading through the rules. The first round had to be a cover. Then 100 finalists would make it to round two, where they'd have to submit an original song. From there, they would pick three acts to fly to New York to record a single. It was a fantastic opportunity, and Emma was excited. She hid it well enough, though. 

“We’re **not** doing a Nickelback song, Em,” Ruby said, a smirk on her face. 

“We could do something like the acoustic corner. It shows we can play instruments and we have vocals.” 

“Do you think we could do a medley? That’s still a cover. Right?” Lily asked.

“We should check the rules, see what they say.”

“The video can only be five minutes. Maybe we should just cover a song?” Mulan added gently. 

“Yeah, a medley could be risky,” Merida added. 

“Ok, that makes sense. So what are you thinking, guys? Anything jumping out?” 

“We’ve had lots of requests for Shallow? We could do that?” 

“That’s a duet, and we kinda want everyone to shine.”

“Ok, um...Linkin Park?”

“Green Day?” 

“What about Adele? We were going to do the song where she plays the guitar? Remember that one? It sounded good when you guys were practicing,” Lily said. 

“Ok, I like that.” 

“Oh, but what about Radioactive? Do you remember that arrangement you were working on, Em? You changed the entire feel of the song. Made it softer and sultry. That could be so good.” 

  
“I’m torn,” Merida said, fisting her hands in her wild curls. 

“I like both,” Emma confessed. 

“Ok, so we just have to choose one.” 

“We should sleep on it and then vote.”

“When’s the deadline?” 

“End of the month. So, about three weeks.”

“That’s 16 days. More like two weeks,” Mulan corrected.

“All right. So, we’re either singing Adele or Imagine Dragons. We shouldn't dwell on it. Tomorrow everyone text Lily your choice. If there’s a tie, she'll have to break it,” Emma said. 

“Shit. I don’t want that responsibility.”

“You’re our manager. It’s the job,” Emma retorted.

“You’ll make the right decision if it comes to that,” Mulan assured. 

“Of course she will,” Ruby added, kissing Lily’s cheek and wrapping her arms around her waist. 

They all agreed, each giving Lily words of encouragement. 

“All right. Enough of that. Em, you said there was something you had to tell us. What is it?” Ruby asked.

Emma chuckled. “Oh, uh, well...I really want to get my own place. I just, I feel like I need privacy, so I got a job at the Rabbit Hole.” 

Emma was a little worried that Lily would be upset that she didn’t get a job at the Dragon’s Lair, but she liked the Rabbit Hole. It was low-key, and they were regularly busy, plus it was a smaller bar, so she wouldn’t be overwhelmed. 

“I support it. Free drinks!” Ruby said.

“Don’t they have a really popular karaoke night?”

“We’ll have to sneak Lily in, but I support it, too,” Merida joked, smiling over at Lily. 

“Yeah, yeah. I know, I know. I can’t wait until that joke is old news."

“Just three more years,” Ruby quipped. 

Everyone laughed, and Lily huffed and rolled her eyes. “You guys suck.” 

Ruby leaned forward and whispered something into Lily's ear, causing her to chuckle and blush. 

“Come on, it’s my turn to pick what we watch, and I’ve been dying to watch Venom,” Mulan said. 

* * *

Regina scrolled through her emails, stopping at one from Pynk Band. There wasn’t a subject, but there was an attachment. The body of the email made her chuckle. _VIP Access._

She clicked on the video, and there were Emma, Ruby, and Merida. Ruby introduced the video, and then they were singing. She was surprised. Ariana Grande was no Nickelback. It was quite a surprise to see them doing something so different from what they usually sang. They sounded terrific together. They had such great chemistry, fed off of each other, and celebrated each other, even in the middle of performing. She didn’t often hear Merida sing solo, but she had a gorgeous voice and quite the range. As usual, her eyes were drawn to Emma. She smiled and reverently stroked her laptop screen. 

She’d been thinking about their night together all week. She got to see Emma briefly yesterday, but it wasn’t enough. The blonde was like a drug. She bit her lip and picked up her phone, typing out a quick text. 

**Regina:** Hey, thank you for the video. Everyone sounded exceptional.

She didn’t know if she’d get a response. Emma sent the email hours ago, and it was quite late, so Regina couldn't fight the smile that played across her lips when her phone rang. Facetime. She fluffed her hair and answered the call. 

“Exceptional, huh?” 

“Truly. When will you post it?”

“Tomorrow. We try to post them every Saturday. Lily wanted to fix some of the audio levels, I think. That’s the rough cut. She’s getting pretty good at the edits and with the camera.” 

Regina smiled, proud of her daughter. She loved how passionate Lily was about the band, and she was a little sad to know that soon Lily would have to split her time between Pynk and college. She hoped Lily was able to continue managing, but Regina knew college could be very demanding. 

Emma leaned forward, squinting. “Is that my tank top?” 

Regina looked down and chuckled. “It is.” 

“Lemme see.” 

Regina rolled her eyes but adjusted the phone so Emma could see the tank top. She wore the shirt often, sometimes under her scrubs, regularly to bed. Mal saw her in it once and asked where it came from. Regina was almost sure she recognized it. 

“Are you cold?” 

“No, just excited to be talking to you.” Regina watched Emma’s shocked expression smugly. Emma always caught her off guard, and it was nice to turn the tables. 

“You allright over there, Swan?” 

“Yep.” 

“Are you blushing?” 

“No!”

Regina laughed, shaking her head. “How are you?” 

“I’m good. I started work last night. Well, it was more training than anything.” 

“Work? Where are you working? You’re not back at the shop, are you?” 

“Hell no. I took a bartending job at the Rabbit Hole.” 

“Really?” 

“Yeah, I need to get my own place. I know David and MM like having me here, but I kinda want my own space.”

“Oh?” 

“Yeah, I think privacy is important.” 

“I agree. I’ve been thinking about it too. The thing is, Mal and I own this house.” 

“I didn’t know you guys bought it together.” 

“I was young and thought we’d be together forever, and I had a trust fund. Real estate is a great investment.”

Emma nodded, and Regina wanted to know what was going on in her head. “What are you thinking about?” 

“Nothing, just the band, honestly. Did Lily tell you about the contest?” 

Regina smiled. “She did. She’s very excited about it.” 

“Yeah, we all are. We couldn’t decide what song to pick, so we’re going to record both and see which one we like more.” 

“From what I hear, you re-arranged _Radioactive._ ”

“Only slightly.” 

“Will I get VIP access to those, too?” 

“I’ll see what I can do.” 

Regina smiled and exhaled, cocking her head to the side. “I miss you.” 

The smile on Emma’s face was so sweet. “I miss you, too.” 

“How long has it been?” 

“Since Granny’s? Five days.” 

Regina thought about that night every day. She didn’t think she’d ever felt that good. Sex wasn’t _that_ good. They’d reached another level that night, tapped into something raw and untouched. She felt like they connected deeply, and that all her concerns were baseless. 

“I’m thinking of just keeping a room there.” 

“That could get expensive.” 

“I’m sure Granny would give me a discount. She adores me.” 

Emma hummed but didn’t say anything. 

“Is this one of the reasons you want to get your own place?” 

Emma didn’t respond immediately, but Regina thought she knew the answer. “Not the only reason, but it’s part of it.” 

“If you want help, I’m willing to help.” 

“No, you don’t have to do that. I have a decent savings. I just have to make sure I’m bringing in enough money to take care of everything. Between the band and the Rabbit Hole, I should be ready to move by the end of the summer.” 

“Do you have somewhere in mind?” 

“There are those two townhomes off of Main Street. They’re nice. Merida lived in one before getting her cabin. They're pretty reasonable.”

“I know the ones. I think Gold owns them.” 

She could reach out, but she didn’t think Emma would want that.

“Doesn't he own everything?” 

Regina chuckled, though there was no amusement in it. “He and my mother.” 

“Well, then.” Emma laughed. 

Regina loved the sound, but the laugh was cut off by a yawn. 

“You should get some sleep.” 

“No, I’m ok.” 

Regina shook her head. “You’re so stubborn.” 

Emma stuck her tongue out. 

“Do you have a work schedule for next week?” 

“I’m on Monday, and then Thursday through Sunday.” 

“What about the band?”

“Uh, Tuesday, Thursday, I think. They may come hang out at the bar while I work, and I know they’re coming to karaoke night on Saturday. Why?” 

Regina bit her lip, feeling suddenly shy. “Do you want to spend the day with me on Wednesday?” 

Emma’s face lit up. “I would really like that.” 

“Yeah? We could go out of town. A little more anonymity.” 

“I like it. I know there’s a nice place about 40 miles out if that’s not too far.” 

“It’s not too far for me.” 

“Well, ok, then. So—” Emma was cut off by a yawn. 

“It’s late, and you should get some sleep.” 

Emma pouted but didn’t disagree. “I’ll text you tomorrow. Are you going to the hospital?” 

“Yes, I have a surgery with Jekyll at 1 pm.” 

“Is it a long one?” 

“I hope not, but text me anyway. I’ll check my phone when I’m done.” 

“Ok. Good night.” 

Regina smiled. “Good night, my love.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Featured Song
> 
> God Is A Woman- Ariana Grande


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you spot the Hamilton reference?

Lily came downstairs, dressed for her meeting with Mr. Gold. She’d find out about what their compensation would be for the Summer Fair. She was excited and terrified. It was pricey, taking care of the band. Getting more gigs and making more money was important. 

“Hey, ma.” Lily walked into the kitchen and kissed her mom’s cheek. “Where’s mom?” 

Regina shrugged. “I don’t think she came home last night.” 

Lily sighed. “Probably spent the night with Rose.” She grabbed a bowl and put some yogurt, granola, and honey in it. When she turned around to sit at the island, Regina was staring at her, a look of horror on her face. 

“Shit.” She walked over to the island and sat across from Regina, setting her bowl down gently, and taking a deep breath. “Aurora told me. At my graduation party. I know. Bad timing, but that’s how I found out. Then when mom and I went to Vermont, I asked about the SOS. We had quite the fight, and then, later on, she came back to talk to me again. She said she was weak and that she wished I’d never seen that. Something about you knowing or something. I don’t remember. But yeah, I know.” 

Lily took a bite from her bowl, waiting for her mom to say something, anything. 

“I’m not sure what to say to that. She didn’t tell me you two talked about it. I’m sorry that I kept it from you.” 

Lily smiled. “I’m a big girl now. It’s ok. I know you and mom aren’t nuns. You date, and you do…other things I don’t ever want to think about. I know it, and it’s fine.” She hoped her mother would read between the lines, that they wouldn’t have to make it awkward. A myriad of emotions went across her mother’s face. Then she dropped her face in her hands. 

“God, how long?” she asked. 

Lily felt terrible, but she couldn’t help but laugh. “Ma, it’s fine.” 

Regina looked up at Lily, and she looked horrified, “How long have you known?”

Lily shrugged. “A month or so.” 

Regina narrowed her eyes. “I don’t believe that.” 

Lily smirked. “I had my suspicions, but I knew for sure the night of the SOS.”

Regina groaned. “We weren’t...it wasn’t…—”

“You liked each other, and it was kinda obvious.” 

“Did Emma know that you knew?” 

Lily didn’t want to throw Emma under the bus, but her ma always knew when she was lying. It was very rare that she successfully lied to Regina. The woman just knew. 

“Don’t be mad at her. She wanted to tell you.” 

Regina ran her fingers through her hair. “Are you…Lily, I know what happened with Aurora was hard and—” 

“Not the same thing, ma. Nowhere _near_ the same thing. I’m not upset or scared. I don’t treat Emma any differently, and I won’t treat you any differently. I love you, and you deserve to be happy, and if Em does that, I’m ok with it. I made her promise not to be a hoe anyway, and she’s never broken a promise to me.” Lily smiled brightly, hoping to calm her mother down. The small smile she got in return was enough to make her feel like things would be ok. 

She finished her yogurt. “So, you get to tell Em about this little chat. That’s not really under the “best friend” umbrella.” 

Regina shook her head, opening her arms for Lily to fall into them. “I love you. Good luck.” 

* * *

The knock on her bedroom door was most unwelcome. She’d just gotten to sleep, and she had zero intention of being conscious at least until midday. She groaned and rolled over, hoping whoever was disturbing her would leave before Morpheus abandoned her. 

“Emma?” 

She wouldn’t be so lucky. She huffed and rolled over, unhappy with her lack of sleep but knowing she wouldn’t get anymore. 

“Yeah?” 

The door creaked open, and David stood there, a crooked smile on his face. “Hey, sleepyhead.” 

“I didn’t get home until 4:30. I didn’t plan on being awake until at least noon.” She knew she sounded petulant, and David’s chuckle was proof. 

“Well, it’s almost three, so you did that.”

“What?” She reached over for her phone, saw it was 2:52, and she had two missed calls and five text messages. 

“Shit, I have to get to band practice.” 

“Ok, but I need to talk to you.” 

Emma paused and looked at him, a little worried. “What’s up?” 

David took a deep breath, and it made Emma’s nerves even worse. “You know we love you.” 

“That’s a horrible way to start a conversation. In case you didn’t know.” She chuckled, but it was forced and dry. Were they putting her out? She was 22 years old, and maybe they wanted their own space. They adopted a teenager. Maybe they were tired of taking care of her. 

“Sorry, this is just hard.” 

“Are you putting me out?” She was blunt, and her tone wasn’t very kind. 

“What? No! Emma, we wouldn’t do that it’s just that—”

“It’s just that….? What, David? Spit it out!”

“Mary-Margaret is pregnant.” 

She didn’t know if that was worse than being put out. It shouldn’t be. It wasn’t that big of a deal. The baby wasn’t a replacement. The rational part of her knew that, but she didn’t feel very rational at the moment. It felt like someone had taken something from her. 

“Like I said, I have to get to band practice.” 

“Emma, please, talk to me.” 

“No time. I need to get ready.” She motioned to the door, and though David looked like he wanted to stay and talk, he didn’t. Emma threw the covers back, immediately grabbed a pair of jeans, and pulled on a shirt. She shoved her feet into her boots and put her guitar in her carrying bag, along with her songbook and wallet. She shook her blanket out, trying to find her phone. It landed on the floor with a _thud,_ and she was so happy to have spent the money on the durable phone case. She checked her text messages. 

**Tink** : Saw you behind the bar at the Rabbit Hole. You looked hot. I miss your fingers. 

**Regina** : Good morning. I know you’re sleeping since you worked last night. If you wake up before you’re supposed to be at practice, give me a call. 

**Lily:** Met with Mr. Gold this morning. I have news. Gimme a call when you wake up. 

**Ruby:** Do you know where my capo is? I can’t find it anywhere.

**Regina:** Heading into a last-minute surgery, I’ll text you after. 

Emma completely ignored Tink, and she didn’t respond to Lily or Ruby because she’d be with them in less than thirty minutes, but she did fire off a text to Regina. 

**Emma:** MM is pregnant. I guess I really do need to find a place now.

She rolled her eyes and sent another text.

**Emma:** Hi. Sorry, I hope you’re having a good day. Let me know how the surgery goes.

She shoved her phone into her pocket and headed downstairs, not stopping to talk even though she could tell both David and MM were dying to have a conversation. She wasn’t ready. 

The bike ride to Merida’s cabin was perfect. The forest was an excellent remedy for her sour mood. It was beautiful, and the weather was nice. When Emma pulled up to Merida’s cabin, she was calmer. She parked her bike next to Ruby’s car and wondered where Lily was. The bug wasn’t there, and Emma was late. That was odd. Lily was never late to band practice. 

She walked into the basement and saw everyone there. “What are you wearing? That is not what we agreed on,” Ruby said, rolling her eyes. 

Emma swore under her breath, annoyed with herself. They were recording their contest entry today and were supposed to be uniform, but Emma had left in a hurry and had forgotten to wear what they’d agreed on. 

“It can work, she’s wearing jeans, she just needs to borrow a band tee and flannel from Merida,” Lily said, from behind the camera. She didn’t even look up, focused on the camera. They’d turned the corner of the basement into a makeshift studio, and it looked excellent. 

“I’ll go grab you some options,” Merida said before going upstairs. Emma pulled her carrying case off her shoulder and went over to where Mulan was setting up the equipment. 

“Hey, are you okay? You don’t look so good,” Mulan asked, clearly concerned. 

Emma sighed. “There are some things going on at home. I’ll tell you guys about it after we record.” 

Mulan didn't push the issue, and Emma appreciated that. She was upset with herself for oversleeping. It was a big day, and she wasn’t feeling like much of a leader. She looked over at Lily and saw that she and Ruby were whispering to one another. Emma didn’t know what was going on with those two. It was unlike Lily to hide anything from her. 

“Lils, where’s the bug? I didn’t see it when I pulled in.” 

Lily smiled and glanced at Ruby quickly before looking back at Emma. _Okay, we’re gonna have to talk about that._

“I got a ride with Ruby.” _We definitely need to talk about that._

She knew there’s a lot they had to do, so Emma put aside her curiosity, but she was going to find out. She would support whatever it was that Lily was doing, but she would also have a little chat with Ruby. Lily was not a conquest or a toy to play with. 

“Allright Em, I have the AC/DC one, a Green Day one, and a Kiss one. Here’s a flannel.” 

Emma took the Kiss shirt and tied the flannel around her waist. “Thanks, Mer.” 

“I want both shirts back, I mean it,” Merida responded, playfully shoving Emma before walking over to their makeshift recording area. 

“All right Rubes, get your ass over here so we can get started,” Emma called, ready to record.

“Wait, I need to check the audio levels. This is a new camera, and I’m still figuring it out,” Lily exclaimed. Regina had gifted the band with a new camera and an iMac, framing them as belated graduation gifts for Lily, but both Emma and Lily knew the real intention behind it. Lily had begged and pleaded with Emma not to make it a big deal, and for once, the blonde was gracious about a gift, even though it was indirectly for her. It wasn’t huge, and Emma couldn’t remember the brand and model, but it had audio input, which would make their audio sound better than what it sounded like with Merida’s DSLR. They could use up to three microphones, and it would make changing the audio levels so much easier for Lily when she was editing on the brand new, expensive iMac. 

“Hey Em, you’re working tonight, right?” Merida asked.

“It’s karaoke night. She’d better be,” Ruby answered, walking over to them. 

“Good, because I talked to Jake and Mulan and Lily is allowed in the bar, but she can’t drink, obviously. She’s 18 now, and the Rabbit Hole doesn’t have a rule against patrons under 21.” 

“So, you're all gonna harass me all night?” 

“We would never!” Merida said, faux offense all over her face, but Emma knew that was exactly what was going to happen. They would be loud and sing a bunch of songs during karaoke, and Ruby would flirt with Jack because she had the biggest crush on him, and it would be absolutely ridiculous, but fun. Emma could honestly say she was looking forward to it. 

“Ok, I’m ready. Which song are you starting with?” 

“Send My Love, please,” Merida answered, which surprised no one. She loved the song. She really enjoyed lots of R&B and Pop music, so she was thrilled that they were trying new things. It was surprising, but Emma liked that they weren’t staying in a box. They were trying all types of music, finding out what worked for them, and what didn’t. 

Emma and Ruby agreed to share a mic for the recordings, so Mulan and Merida could have individual mics since the camera only had three audio input slots. Lily counted them in, and Ruby played the opening chords. Merida opened the song. 

_This was all you, none of it me_   
_You put your hands all over my body and told me, umm_   
_You told me you were ready_   
_For the big one, for the big jump_   
_I’d be your last love everlasting you and me_   
_That was what you told me_

It was easy to fall into the song because it was calm, and it allowed everyone a moment to let their vocals shine. There were some beautiful harmonies in it that showed how well they worked as a band, and the song was sweet and sassy, much like Merida. It wasn’t Emma’s first pick, but she couldn’t ignore how well they sounded. The ending chorus was a testament to all their rehearsals. They’d stumbled through it so many times while practicing that it was almost second nature. Everyone sang their part beautifully. 

“Guys, that was so good. Like, really good. It didn’t even sound like an Adele song anymore! The slight changes you all made and the way you broke the song into parts made it feel more like a band song, more like a Pynk song. So good guys, really. I think that take is good.”

They congratulated each other and then got ready for the next one. When re-arranging _Radioactive,_ Emma wanted to mesh the piano and acoustic versions. She wanted it to sound softer and less like a rock song. She’d worked closely with Merida and Mulan to ensure that they kept the integrity of the piece, while also creating something that sounded how Emma wanted it to. 

Merida opened the song with just the keyboard, set to Grand Piano. She sang the soft opening and was then joined by Mulan both vocally and with gentle taps on the Cymbals. Ruby and Emma joined last before Mulan sang the opening lines.

_I’m waking up to ash and dust  
I wipe my brow and I sweat my rust  
I’m breathing in the chemicals_

They’d worked hard to make the gasp sound harmonic and light, and somehow they managed it well. Ruby finished the rest of the verse.

_I’m breaking in, shaping up, then checking out on the prison bus_   
_This is it, the apocalypse_   
_Whoa_

They sang the chorus together, and Emma lost herself in it. It was a song she adored throughout her youth, and it helped her. Something about it resonated, and it felt nice to share it with her band in a way that felt real and raw. Completely authentic. When the song came to an end, she was sad it was over, but glad they'd recorded it. 

* * *

“I’m exhausted,” Emma whined as she plopped down on Lily’s bed. It had been a long night. The band had posted on Twitter that they would be at karaoke, which led to the Rabbit Hole at max capacity for the majority of the night. The bar was slammed, and her feet were killing her. Jack let her leave at two because he was the best boss and had hired a barback, so she didn’t have to stay. 

“You should be; it was wild there tonight. Good tips?” Lily kicked her shoes off and laid down next to Emma. 

“Great tips. I had to dump my jar twice!” Emma’s phone vibrated in her pocket, and she pulled it out, checking her notifications. 

**Regina:** Am I losing my mind, or are you upstairs?

Emma smiled at the text. It had been a long day, and she hadn’t had much of a chance to talk to Regina. They’d managed to miss each other all day. After practice, Emma went straight to work to help prep the bar and set up for karaoke. Regina had back to back surgeries, then went home and fell asleep. Emma needed to talk to Regina. She wanted to tell her about the baby and how it made her feel. 

Lily leaned over to read it too. “Ugh, you guys are gross.” 

“What? That’s not bad!” 

“Just go, I don’t want to hear anything!” Lily pulled the pillow from under Emma’s head and placed it over her face. Emma chuckled and responded to the text. 

**Emma:** Upstairs? What stairs?

 **Regina:** Swan...

Emma giggled, and Lily huffed. “Just go!” 

**Regina** : Are you coming down here?

 **Emma:** Lily's still awake.

 **Regina** **:** I know that she knows. Come downstairs, please. I want to see you.

Emma snatched the pillow off of Lily’s head. “You told her you knew!”

Lily’s eyes got big, and she chuckled nervously. “Oh, yeah. That happened this morning. She was totally cool with it. Now go! My mom isn’t here, and I don’t know when she’ll be back. I know what’s going on between you two, but she's still just speculating.” 

Emma glared at Lily, but she did get up. “I’m still mad at you.” 

“It won’t last.” 

Emma flipped her off, then left the room. It felt weird walking down the stairs and down the hall to Regina’s room. She didn’t bother knocking, didn’t see much of a point. Regina was lying in bed, her phone in her hand. She looked up when she heard the door open. 

“Hey.” 

Regina smiled and crooked a finger. “Come here.” 

Emma did as she was told. It was becoming a bit of a habit, but she didn’t mind. As soon as she reached the bed, Regina pulled her into a kiss. It was chaste by their standards. 

“We’re not having sex with Lily in the house,” Regina whispered against Emma’s lips. 

“Agreed.” 

Regina smiled and continued the kiss. It was nice after such a shit day to be in Regina’s arms. Emma had missed her, and it was becoming easier to admit that. 

“How are you?” Regina asked as she got comfortable, pulling Emma down to lie with her. 

“Tired, the bar was really busy tonight.” 

“Not quite what I meant, but ok.” 

Emma sighed and snuggled into Regina, resting her head on her chest. “Well, I wanted to move out anyway.” 

Regina began running her fingers through Emma’s hair. It was nice, soothing. “They won’t put you out. They may not be my favorite people in town, but I know they wouldn’t do that. They love you. It's one of their only redeeming factors.” 

Emma sighed. “I know they aren’t replacing me, and I know that I’m an adult, and they’re young, and it happens, but it still feels like it. Like I wasn’t enough.” 

Regina kissed Emma’s hair. “You’re more than enough, dear. I promise you that.” 

Emma didn’t know how to respond, so she just laid there, enjoying the comfort Regina gave. It was nice to feel safe and cared for. She didn’t want to leave, to have to go back upstairs. She heaved a sigh. “Can I sleep here?” 

“Of course.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Featured Song
> 
> Radioactive- imagine Dragons


	9. Chapter 9

Lily laid across her bed, working on the tiers for the Patreon page for the band. She felt like an idiot for not doing it sooner, but now that they had a more considerable following, it made sense. Not only did people love their music, but they were also interested in the individual members, and they needed to monetize that interest. She’d seen artists making thousands of dollars a month just with Patreon. With the traffic on their Youtube and Instagram, they should be able to turn a decent amount of their subscribers into patrons.

“Knock, knock.” 

She looked up and saw her mom leaning against the door frame. 

“Hey, what’s up?” Lily closed her notebook and sat up, making space for her mom to sit. Mal looked like something was on her mind. “You have your serious face on. What’s up?” 

Mal took a deep breath. “Look, lovebug, I really wish I didn’t have to do this, but I saw how what I did affected you, and I don’t want that to happen again.”

“What do you mean? You’re not marrying Rose, are you?” 

Mal’s eyes went wide. “Uh, no. There’s only one woman I’d marry, and it’s not Rose.” 

Lily balked. The unspoken person being her other mother was obvious. “Is that what you wanted to tell me? That you want to marry Ma?” 

Mal cleared her throat. “No, it’s not.” Mal grabbed Lily’s hands. “Your mother is dating Emma, I think. At the very least, they’re sleeping together. I’m so sorry, honey. I had my suspicions, but I hadn’t seen anything. I saw Emma leaving Regina's room the other morning, and you and I have been so busy we haven't seen each other much, but I thought you deserved to know.” 

Lily was quiet, not sure how she wanted to handle the information. It wasn’t news to her, and it didn’t seem like her mom’s reasons were genuine. She didn’t like feeling like she was being manipulated. She pulled her hands away from Mal’s and dropped them in her lap. 

“I know, mom.” 

Mal recoiled as if Lily had slapped her. “What do you mean, _you know_?” 

Lily huffed. “I mean, I know my best friend, and it was obvious. I talked to her about it, and that was that. I recently talked to ma about it too.” 

“So, it’s fine for Regina to sleep with your best friend, but I get your ire for sleeping with your best friend’s mom?” 

Lily rolled her eyes. “Mom, your affair ended a marriage and ripped Aurora’s life apart. She ended our friendship because of it. Then you didn’t respond to an SOS because you were with Rose. **That's** why you got my ire. The two situations are not the same. Not even remotely.” 

“ Lily.—”

“Why did you tell me? Did you think I would get mad at her?” 

“No, Lily I—”

“Did you think I’d rage and demand they break up? Why do you care who ma is with?” 

“I don’t.”

“You do. Is that why you’ve been so shitty to Em? Because you suspected something was going on with her and ma? That’s not fair, mom. It really isn’t. You can’t have your cake and eat it too. You have Rose, and ma has Emma. I don’t know how long they’ll last, and I hope if it ends, they’ll be mature about it, but you don’t get to punish her for not waiting for you, and you don't get to punish Emma for wanting her."

Lily watched as her mother digested her words, but she wasn't done yet. “I know you love ma. You two have loved each other my entire life. Longer than that, even, but I’m not a kid, and I pay attention. She was upset about Rose too, and I get the feeling this isn’t the first time Rose has been a problem between you two.” 

Mal scoffed. “You have no idea.” 

“I can guess. Mom, I love you, and I love ma, too. And...and I love Emma. I don’t want to pick between you. I’m not choosing sides. I love you all. I will continue to love you all, and I’d love for you all to get along, but there are emotions involved here, and those are tricky. So I'll settle for everyone being cordial and mature.” 

“How are you so fucking smart, kid?” 

“I think I get it from ma, honestly.” 

They laughed together. “I can’t promise you anything, but I’ll try. I’ve loved Regina for over twenty years, and I’ve hurt her for almost as long. I don’t deserve her, and I know that. Doesn’t mean I want to see her with someone else.”

Lily scrunched up her face. “Uh, mom, you know that’s toxic, right?” 

Mal rolled her eyes and shook her head, her amusement clear. “I’m well aware. Again, I’m working on it."

* * *

Emma sat crossed-legged on her bed, a pen between her teeth and her guitar in her lap. Her songwriting notebook was open next to her. She plucked at the strings trying to find the chord that she thought would work best. She paused and crossed out some lyrics and re-wrote them.

_Before you, I don't remember who I was_

_And baby your love has got me fuzzy, just like everything was just a dream_

Sticking the pen back between her teeth, she played the chords again, with the lyrics she’d just written. She sang it out, running through different combinations before finding something she liked. 

_Before you, it's all a blurry memory_

_I don't remember who I was_

_I look at you and everything's deja vu_

She tapped the pen against her lip, her mind wandering to Regina. Wednesday was amazing. Emma hadn’t worked the night before, so she wasn’t exhausted. Regina wasn’t working at the hospital. It was a nice reprieve from everything going on at home with the pregnancy. They’d left relatively early, well, early for Emma. Regina managed to get them in the hotel by 11 am, which Emma was sure was impossible, but Emma was learning there wasn’t much Regina couldn’t do. They’d gone for a hike and had dinner before spending the night together. There was a certain freedom that filled Regina when they weren’t hiding, when they were free just to be. Emma loved it. She was coming to realize there wasn’t much about Regina she didn’t love. It was terrifying. 

Emma had falsely told Regina at the beginning of the day that she thought they could enjoy the night together without sex, and it’d worked until after Regina took a shower. She came out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel, skin dewy from her shower, hair curly from the heat of the water. She’d looked irresistible, and Emma had fallen victim to it. She had zero complaints. 


	10. Chapter 10

"Good, you're both here. I want to talk to you." Lily smiled at them, and Regina could tell she was excited about something. She was sure she already knew. Emma texted her as soon as they got the news that they were finalists. Over 5,000 videos were submitted, and they were one of the 100 finalists. It was quite the accomplishment, and Regina couldn't be more proud of both Emma and Lily. 

"So, the band is a finalist in the cover contest. One of 100 acts to move on to the next round." 

Mal looked shocked, and Regina had to try to mimic the surprise. She and Lily made eye contact, and Regina knew that Lily was aware that Emma had already spilled the beans. 

"That's amazing! I know they're good, but holy shit, this is a big deal." 

"It is. It's a huge deal, and we've launched a Patreon page which has seen almost 100 patrons in the two weeks it's been live. We're churning out content for them, really trying to make the band something more than just a hobby." 

Regina nodded. "That's great. It's a lot of responsibility." 

Lily nodded. "It is, and I'm glad you mentioned that. So, because things are picking up with the contest, the Summer Fair, Patreon, more gigs, I really want to focus on the band. So, I thought I'd take a year off and be band manager full-time, and then next Spring, I'll start school." 

Regina was shocked, but she tried not to let it show. Mal was rigid on the couch. She looked like a stiff wind would blow her over. 

"I haven't made any decisions yet, but I wanted to let you both know what I think so that if I do decide to take a year off, it won't be a surprise. So...yeah. I'm gonna go because mom looks like she's going to pass out. I love you both." 

Lily left the room pretty quickly, and Mal still looked like she was in shock. Regina reached for her, but Mal snatched her hand away. She took a deep breath, and when she looked at Regina, there was a fire in her eyes. Regina hadn't seen her that angry in a long time. 

"I'm going to kill her." 

Regina rolled her eyes. "You're being dramatic. She hasn't made any decisions yet. Calm down." 

"That blonde bitch," Mal spat, and Regina recoiled at the sheer hatred in her words. Regina had a sinking feeling that she knew who Mal was talking about, and it wasn't their daughter. "It's not enough that she took you, now she's taking Lily's future, too." 

There was too much to unpack in that sentence, and Regina had no idea where to start. "What are you talking about?" 

Maybe if she feigned ignorance, it wouldn't be what she thought it was, _knew_ it was, but the look in Mal's eyes told her that it was, and Mal was indeed aware of her relationship. 

"You're fucking her. I know it. Caught her coming out of your bedroom a couple weeks ago. I told Lily, though she already knew." 

"You told Lily? What was that supposed to solve?"

Mal rolled her eyes. "That's what you took from that? That's not what's important. The important thing here is your girl toy is the reason our daughter is throwing her future away." 

"I don't think that's what's happening."

"Bullshit, Regina. Lily is throwing away her shot at college to be a manager to an indie band, and you aren't helping. With the damn camera and the computer!" 

"She hasn't decided yet! And I'm being supportive," Regina argued. She could feel her blood pressure rising. "And how is any of this Emma's fault?" 

"It's her fucking band. First, they build a car together, and now Lily doesn't want to go to college. Next, she'll want to be a mechanic and fuck every girl in Storybrooke." 

"That's disgusting." 

"No! How blind you are is disgusting. I can't believe you're putting orgasms over our daughter's future." 

"How, exactly, did you come to that conclusion?" 

"Your vagina is thinking for you because if it weren't, you'd see how this is easily Emma's fault. But you've always been weak for a blonde who can make you come." Mal stood up and stormed out of the foyer, and shortly after, Regina heard the door slam. 

Regina sat, stunned, unable to properly process what'd just happened. She didn't see things the way Mal saw them. Lily should be able to make her own decisions, but she had dreams, and she was putting them aside. Regina knew that things changed, and people acquired new aspirations, but was Mal right? Was she intentionally ignoring the pull and persuasion Emma had over Lily? Was she feeding into it by buying the camera and iMac? She'd known that if she'd given it specifically to Emma, the blonde would not have accepted the gift, so she'd given it to Lily. She just wanted to help and show both her daughter and Emma that she was supportive of their endeavor. 

She took a deep breath and then pulled out her phone to call Emma. It rang and went to voicemail. She tried again to the same fate. It wasn't late, nearly 9, no reason for her to be asleep. Regina leaned back against the couch again and tried to call Emma once more. It rang four times before Emma answered. 

"Hey, I was riding, and I don't answer when I'm riding. Are you all right?" 

Regina snorted and exhaled shakily. "I don't know." 

"What's wrong? Talk to me." 

Regina bit her lip and closed her eyes. "Lily told us."

"About the contest? I texted you earlier about it. It's fucking amazing, right? Over 5,000 people sent videos, and we were one of 100 they chose. We really couldn't believe it. We've been working hard this past year, and it's nice to see something good come from it. And with Lily starting the Patreon, we'll have monthly revenue on top of shows. It's only been two weeks, and we're already trending toward $1500 a month!" 

She was so excited, and Regina wanted to be in the moment with her and celebrate with her, but she could hear Mal in her head, berating her. 

"Emma, Lily just told us she might be taking a year off to focus on the band."

"What?" Emma asked. 

"You really didn't know?" Regina sat up, a bit of hope blossoming in her chest. Maybe it had nothing to do with Emma. It was possible that Emma didn't have anything to do with Lily's decision. 

"She didn't tell me anything. Holy shit. How'd you take it?" 

"I was calm, Mal was not. She's furious. Angry at you." 

"Me? Why is she angry at me? I had no idea." 

"It's your band, so she feels like it's your fault." 

"That's such bullshit. Lily is capable of making her own decisions. If she wants to take a year off, she should, and Mal should respect her decision." 

Regina groaned. "I know. We should support her, but she had a plan. There was a plan in place." 

Emma clicked her tongue. "Plans change. That's life." 

"I know that, Emma," Regina snapped, a little annoyed. 

"Don't snap at me. I don't deserve that."

"I didn't snap. You're just so aloof." 

"What should I be? Do you want me to be angry? I won't be. If Lily doesn't want to go to college, that's her choice."

"She didn't say she didn't want to go to college; she said she was thinking about taking a year off." 

"That's her choice," Emma refuted. 

"I never said it wasn't."

"Then what are you saying, Regina? I'm having a hard time following you." 

Regina could tell Emma was annoyed. She could hear it in her voice; in her tone. She knew she needed to calm down and reign it in, but Mal had riled her up, and now she wanted to fight. 

"I'm saying I want Lily to make something of herself." 

"And you think college is the only way for her to do that?" 

"It doesn't hurt." 

"I didn't go to college." It was said petulantly, and it made Regina roll her eyes. 

"I'm well aware of that." 

"What does that mean?" 

"Emma, you play guitar in a band, and you're a bartender." Regina snorted and flipped her hair. 

"That's such elitist bullshit. God, Regina, are you serious right now?" 

"I want more for my daughter, that's all. She has so much potential." 

"Huh, we're back to her being so much better than me. That's great, glad to know how you really feel." 

It was like someone threw cold water on her. Everything slammed into place, and she immediately calmed down and went into damage control mode. 

"Emma—"

"You know, I'm so fucking stupid. I really should've known better."

"Emma, wait, I—"

"You are everything I hoped you weren't. You really think I'm beneath you? So what, this was all bullshit?"

It was like when she had a patient on the table that was hemorrhaging, and she couldn't find the source, and nothing she was doing was working. The same sense of dread filled her at the moment because she knew things had gone too far. 

"No, Emma, let me—"

"You really led me to believe that you cared and—"

"I do. I do care, Emma." Regina could feel her slipping away, could sense the walls going up around her.

"I'm so stupid—"

"You're not stupid. Emma, please, let me apologize, meet me at Granny's."

"No. I don't want to do this, Regina."

"Emma, I'm sorry. I didn't...God, Mal was so angry, and she said... it doesn't matter, I—"

"Mal? Of course. It always comes back to her, right?" 

"Emma, don't be ridiculous, it's not—"

"So, I'm ridiculous, too. Jeez, I'm just so beneath you, I can't believe you were able to keep up the charade for this long." 

"Don't say things like that. It wasn't a charade, and for you to insinuate it was is insulting. You think I'd do all I've done if this was fake?" 

"I don't know. I'm starting to realize I don't know you at all, and if the woman I talked to tonight is who you really are, I don't want to know you." 

Then the call ended.


	11. Chapter 11

Regina wiped her face on her sleeve and continued to scrub the counter. Her bathroom was spotless, and her laundry was going, so the kitchen was her next victim. She tried to focus on cleaning. _Counters, Stove, Fridge, then Floor._ _Counters, Stove, Fridge, then Floor._ _Counters, Stove, Fridge, then Floor._ Her mantra wasn’t working because she could still hear how sad Emma sounded and how much _she_ had sounded like her mother. 

_“I want more for my daughter, that’s all. She has so much potential.”_

She was disgusted with herself, and she completely understood why Emma hung up and then refused to answer all eleven of her phone calls. She’d royally fucked up, and she didn’t know if she could fix it. Emma was insecure, and Regina had dug into those fears. _Idiot._ She let Mal get to her. God, she _always_ let Mal get to her. You’d think she’d learn, but it would seem that was a lesson she would never get. 

“Ma? What are you doing?” 

Regina wiped her face again and cleared her throat. “Just cleaning, sweetheart, what are you doing?” 

She didn’t turn around, didn’t want Lily to see her like that. She didn’t want to explain that she’d been a bitch to Emma and now they weren’t together. She didn’t want to tell her that one of her mothers had cost her yet another best friend. 

“Ma, what’s wrong?” 

“I’m fine, dear, just fine.” 

“Ma!” 

Regina shook her head, and her shoulders began to shake as a broken sob fell from her lips. She'd been trying to hold it together, telling herself things would be fine. She would give Emma space, and they would work it out, but the longer the night went on, the more she realized that she might have ended her relationship. 

“Oh, ma.” 

She felt Lily’s arms around her, and it only made her cry harder. She couldn’t believe what she’d said. 

“I ruined everything, and I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have…I should’ve…” She didn’t know what she should have done. It felt inevitable. There would always be a part of her that was a bit elitist. She'd had etiquette training, went to a boarding school, went to Johns Hopkins for med school and her residency. She was bred for greatness, and though she'd worked hard to be humble, she could be braggadocious. It'd backfired. 

“She won’t answer my calls. Not that she should. I was horrible.”

“Ma, what happened?” 

Regina took a deep breath and tried to calm herself. “Your mother was furious, and I’m sure you could tell. But she was so angry, and she said some horrible things. She blamed Emma and I—”

“She doesn’t even know! I didn’t tell her. I thought she’d be mad or that she’d tell me not to. The only person who knows is Ruby, and she told me that I needed to be 100% sure I wanted to do it.” 

Regina sighed. “She was so supportive of you, Lily, and I was a fucking monster. I can’t believe I...and then that was it. I don’t know if I can fix it. I know I hurt her. I hate that I did.” 

Lily bit her lip. “She’s not answering my calls, either.” 

Regina’s eyes watered again. “Lily, I’m so sorry. I’ll fix it. I promise.” 

Lily shook her head. “Don’t worry about it. We made each other a promise. She probably turned her phone off. I know it’s past my curfew, but….” 

“Go. Please, go. Just let me know when you get there.” 

Lily hugged her mom one more time before heading upstairs. Regina hoped that Lily was right and that Emma’s phone was just off because even though Regina deserved to be ignored, Lily didn’t. Lily didn’t deserve to lose another friend. Regina felt ashamed. She pulled off her gloves and left the kitchen for her bathroom. She turned on the shower, the water nearly scalding, then stripped. She stepped into the water, and it burned her skin, but she didn’t even flinch. She deserved it, and before long, it didn’t feel so hot anymore. Regina scrubbed her skin until it was red and felt raw, but didn’t bother washing her hair. She stepped out of the shower and towel dried herself off. Her skin felt sensitive to the touch, and she knew she’d overdone it. She moisturized, then went to her bedroom, where she saw Emma’s tank top. It made her eyes sting to look at it. She put it on, and a pair of pajama pants, and decided she was ready to sleep off the day when she remembered she’d left her phone in the kitchen. 

She could hear someone moving around in the house, and she was pretty confident it wasn’t Lily. She hoped that Mal wouldn’t try to talk to her because she was in no mood. 

“Regina!” 

No such luck. She walked into the kitchen and grabbed her phone off the counter. She had a text message. 

**Lily:** I made it. Everything will be alright. ❤

“Regina. Lily’s car isn’t here, and she’s not answering her phone.” 

Regina looked up to see Mal standing in the entryway. She looked frantic. 

“She’s fine. She went to Emma’s.” 

Regina watched Mal’s concern morph into something else, and she knew she didn’t have it in her to fight anymore for the rest of the day. Hell, for the rest of the week. 

“It’s nearly midnight.” 

Regina ran her fingers through her hair. “I know what time it is, Mal.” 

“And you just let her leave?” 

Regina rolled her eyes. “She asked, I said yes.” 

“Without talking to me?” 

“Mal, I really don’t want to do this with you tonight. I don’t have any more fight left in me.” 

Mal scoffed. “What? You and Blondie get into a fight? Did you finally realize she’s not what you want her to be?” 

“Fuck you, Maleficent.” 

Mal took a step back, the look in her eyes guarded but concerned. “Regina, what happened?” 

“Don’t pretend you care about me or my relationship with Emma.” 

“I do care about you.” 

“Mal, just don’t, ok? I’m tired, and I want to sleep off this shitty day.” 

“What happened?” 

Regina tried to walk past Mal, but she felt Mal’s hand on her forearm, pulling her back. “Talk to me, Regina.” 

Regina snatched her arm away. “What do you want me to tell you? I called her after you left, and at first, it was fine, but I let you get to me. I always let you get to me. I was mean and cruel and she…she just…it’s over.” 

“Regina….”

“Don’t look at me like that. Don’t you fucking dare. You talk to me like I’m a child, then you storm out, leaving me feeling flustered and confused, and then I fly off the handle and lose her. I lost someone I really could love, and here you are, trying to pick up the pieces while you stink of that bitch, Rose! **DON’T** even try it. I don’t want her sloppy seconds.” 

Regina glared at Mal, her chest rising and falling rapidly.

“You can be mad about Blondie, but Rose has nothing to do with this. And let’s be honest, Emma Swan isn’t love material. That girl is good for sex. She’s allergic to commitment.” 

Regina shook her head and exhaled. She could feel herself deflate. “I’m going to bed.”


	12. Chapter 12

"Em, I don't know if we should change the line-up so close to the show. We're two weeks out, and there are still things we need to work on. What's going on?" Mulan asked.

"Nothing, I've just been working on some new stuff, and I wanted to try it. You guys have been asking for songs, so I wrote new songs. Just let me play a little bit of each one, and you guys can decide if you want to keep the original set or if you want to try some of these new ones." She was beside herself, and she knew it. She also knew that, for the most part, the things that needed to be worked on were because of her. It'd been three weeks since she and Regina broke up, and it hadn't gotten any easier. Everything she wrote was about Regina, whether it was obvious or obscure. Emma was sad all the time, wasn't focused at rehearsals, wasn't focused at work. She was just going through the motions. 

"Play them for us, Em," Lily piped up from the couch, her head in Ruby's lap. 

Emma smiled at Lily. She didn't know where she'd be without her best friend. Lily was keeping her sane. Lily kept her promise. They'd stayed friends no matter what happened with Regina. Emma was concerned, but there was no need. Lily didn't play the middle, didn't defend Regina or advocate for her. They honestly didn't talk about her. Well, at least not blatantly anyway. 

Emma grabbed her guitar and began to play. 

_You can bury me alive,_

_You can throw away your shovel,_

_No matter how you try,_

_I will rise up from the rubble._

_Never put me down,_

_Keep me on the ground,_

_Never gonna fade away,_

_One step ahead_

_From being stone cold dead_

_I'll do whatever it takes,_

_And I'm never gonna hit the brakes._

When she finished, she waited for them to say something. They were all staring at her. It made her nervous. 

"It feels sad," Ruby said. 

"It's not sad, it's just…I don't know. It's just a song," Emma mumbled. 

"It's never just a song Em," Mulan said. She looked concerned, and it made Emma want to hide. Mulan had a way of just knowing things, even though it should impossible for her to know them.

"What's the next one?" Merida asked.

_So you think that you're the one who's up in score_

_Just 'cause you're the first one walkin' out the door_

_Well, take it when you leave_

_I don't need your sympathy_

_I might stay up, drunk on wine, hurtin' like hell_

_And ugly, crying black mascara tears_

_I might lock my door, sleep with my phone_

_Miss you bad for a month or so_

_But let me tell you somethin', my dear_

_I'm gonna be just fine_

_But you're never gonna find_

_Another love like mine, oh no, no_

"I like this one," Merida said, a smile on her face.

"Do you have an idea for accompaniments?" Merida asked. "I have some ideas if you want to work on it today." 

Emma cleared her throat. "Uh, I hadn't planned it out fully." 

"We should work on it. It's a nice song. Kinda gives me ballad feels, and you haven't sung in a while." Ruby said

"Oh, no, I don't have to lead it."

"You should," Lily said. They shared a look, and Emma nodded. 

"Do you have another one?" Mulan asked.

Emma sighed. "Yeah, it's definitely a ballad." She put down the electric guitar and grabbed the acoustic, took a deep breath, and began to sing. 

_Crying underwater_

_Breathing in outer space_

_Putting faith into something that could never take place_

_Would you give every shard of my heart back to me_

_Would you come through the wreckage for it's life to receive?_

_I've been searching for answers_

_I've been workin' on a cure_

_I've been a slow song dancer to a rhythm that ain't pure_

_I will come around tomorrow_

_And forget yesterday_

_I will bleed out the sorrow that you put in me today_

_Because I'm going blind_

_I'm going blind_

_I'm going blind_

"That's the one. That's the ballad for the show. Jeez Em, that's the one you have to lead. The other one, Merida can sing, but this one, you _have_ to sing it." 

"I think we should do the last two, keep Radioactive, Old Town Road, and Wild Card. We'll find something to cut. If we add a couple more practice days, we should be able to do it. They're ballads, so not as hard. We'll minimize harmonies if we have to, but these are great songs," Lily said, sitting up and scribbling in her notebook. 

"I like it. Ladies?" Ruby looked over to Merida and Mulan.

"I'll take on the second song." 

"Perfect, so Wild Card is Ruby's, Mulan has Radioactive, Merida will have song two, and Emma will have song three. Old Town Road is the opener, and it should be a crowd-pleaser. Also, before we get started, just wanted to put some stats out there, we now have 417 patrons, and last month you all made 2,862 dollars, which is amazing. So, I added a fourth tier at the beginning of the month. Now there's $5, $10, $25, and $50 donation options. 60% of our patrons, which are about 250 of them, are Kinda Pynk, donating $5 a month. That's $1,250. 20%, aka 104 patrons, are Pynkies, and they are donating $10 a month, bringing in $1,040. 10% are Pynk-ers, about 41 patrons, donating $25 a month, bringing in $1,025. And 5% are The Pynk-est, about 22 patrons, donating $50 a month, bringing in $1100. So if we don't get any other patrons, which is doubtful since people love you guys, but if that were to happen and everything stayed the same, you guys would make $4,415." 

"You're kidding," Ruby said, a massive grin on her face. 

"It's not enough to quit your jobs, but we're getting somewhere. And, since we created it when we did, we don't have to pay the new service fee!" 

Emma listened to everyone chatter about the money they would make and how it was amazing that they would get paid monthly, and she couldn't muster the enthusiasm. She just felt empty, and she didn't know how to cope with it. 

"You have to let it go, Emma. Whatever it is that's bothering you, you have to leave it outside of the basement. We need you back. We need our band leader." Mulan rubbed her back briefly and walked over to the drums. Emma knew she was right. She had to stop moping. They deserved her at her best. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did so much math for this chapter! It was so difficult, then I was mad at myself for being so technical but I'd already started so I wasn't going to stop. Smh. 
> 
> Featured Songs *in order of appearance
> 
> The Rubble- Nashville Cast  
> Love Like Mine- Nashville Cast  
> Blind- Nashville Cast


	13. Chapter 13

“I don’t think the oil needed to be changed, Lils. You haven’t been driving it that long, and you don’t go anywhere far. Just to Merida’s, to Town Hall and my house.” 

Lily stuck out her tongue. “I go places.” 

“Oh, yeah, and Ruby’s place,” Emma teased. 

Lily shoved her playfully, but her face was flushed. Emma arched an eyebrow. “Really Lily, since when are you into girls?” 

Lily shook her head but didn’t look at her. “I’m not…I mean not really. We’re just hanging out. Dorothy went back to Kansas because she needed a break, so Ruby’s lonely.” 

“What happened to Will?” 

“I still talk to him, you know that.” 

“But, you’re also talking to Ruby?” 

Lily huffed. “I don’t know if I like her in that way, and I told her that. She says there's no pressure, that I can take my time and figure it out. She’s different when she’s not being loud and crude.” 

“Does she have another setting?” Emma asked, smirking at Lily. 

“You’re a pain in the ass, you know that?” Lily smiled and leaned against the bug. “So, Aurora has been texting me. We’ve been trying to, you know, be friends. She’s dating Phillip. Did you know she used to hang out with Mulan?” 

Emma scrunched up her face. “No, I didn’t.” 

“Yeah, she said they were spending time together, and then Mulan gave her the cold shoulder when she started dating Phillip.” 

“Mulan’s a stoic one, but she’s sensitive. She probably liked her, and when Aurora started dating Phillip, she backed away.” 

“Huh. I can see it. She says she misses her.” Lily sat down on the stool and rolled over to where Emma’s guitar bag was. She grabbed it and rolled back over to Emma. “So, you gonna let me hear this new song you’ve been failing at hiding from me?” 

Emma chuckled and took the guitar. “I think I want this to be the electric guitar, but I haven’t decided yet.” She began to play. 

_I don't show up early_

_I don't leave things up to fate_

_Never been that good at admitting my mistakes_

_I could win a battle without a second look_

_But when it comes to you breaking my heart_

_I could write the book_

_I don't get things off the grapevine_

_Small talk ain't for me_

_I don't worry 'bout the weather_

_Cause I can take the heat_

_At times my disposition can be misunderstood_

_But when it comes to you breaking my heart_

_I could write the book_

_Oooo I know how the story goes down_

_I've told it about a hundred times now_

_You're my darkest desperation_

_Worst kind of creation_

_Even though I know the story don't end good_

_I could write the book_

_Started with the Judas kiss_

_That pushed me to the brink_

_Guess we've always been the stars of our little tragedy_

_Addicted to commotion_

_Wouldn't change it if I could_

_When it comes to you breaking my heart_

_I could write the book_

_Ohh I know how the story goes down_

_I've told it about a hundred times now_

_You're my darkest desperation_

_Worst kind of creation_

_Even though I know the story don't end good_

_Hell I could write the book_

_But I won't give it all away_

_Everybody knows a good heartbreak..._

_Ohh I know how the story goes down_

_I've told it about a hundred times now_

_You're my darkest desperation_

_Worst kind of creation_

_Even though I know the story don't end good_

_Hell I could write the book_

_Oh I oh I_

_I could write the book_

Emma put the guitar down and looked at Lily. “So, yeah. I know it’s kinda heavy, but…” She trailed off because Lily wasn’t looking at her. She was looking at the doorway. Emma didn’t want to turn around, didn’t want to see her, but something in her was a masochist because she turned. It’d been a month since the break-up, and longer since Emma last saw Regina in person. She could feel her chest tightening, and by the look in Regina’s eyes, she’d heard the song. Emma didn’t know how to be around her. Their fight had been nasty, but it was all the residual stuff, all of Emma’s issues keeping her from moving on. She wasn’t ready to talk to Regina, and she wasn’t ready to be looking at Regina. She was, least of all, not prepared for how much she’d missed Regina. 

“Emma.” Regina's voice cracked, and she cleared her throat. She took a step into the garage, and it caused Emma to panic. She stood and looked over at Lily. 

“I have to go, can you...can uh...I need to um...work, I have to work tonight. Can you bring my guitar to rehearsal tomorrow? Sorry, I just...I need to go.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Featured Song
> 
> The Book- Nashville Cast


	14. Chapter 14

“Are you guys ready?” Lily asked them as they huddled together behind the stage. Emma was sweating profusely. It wasn’t even the heat. It was only 79 degrees outside; a great day, weather-wise. She wished she could say it was because she was nervous, or that she was hyper-focused on the show they were about to put on. Emma even wished the fact that Gold wanted them to play for 90 minutes as opposed to an hour was the cause of her concern. But she couldn’t. She was terrified that Regina would be there, and even more terrified that she wouldn't. Since they’d started...whatever they had, she’d been at all the shows in Storybrooke. Emma didn’t know which would be worse: if Regina showed up, or if she didn’t. 

“Look, you guys deserve this. There are hundreds of people out there excited to see you. They already know you’re great. They traveled for you. The set sounds great! I know we had to add things back, but once you guys get up there, it will flow, and they will love it. You all slept well last night, you drank your tea, you had your honey. You’re ready. Get out there and have an awesome show!”

Emma appreciated Lily for taking the reins because she didn’t have it in her. The band headed for the stage, but Lily grabbed Emma’s arm. She cupped Emma's face, and they touched foreheads. _You got this._ Emma smiled, needing the gesture and accepting it. She took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, clearing her head, and then she walked on the stage. 

“Hello, hello! How’s everybody doing?” Ruby called into the mic. The crowd responded in kind, and Ruby chuckled. 

“We’re so glad you all came out to spend some time with us. We’ve put together a great show for you all, and we hope you enjoy yourselves. Feel free to sing along and dance, but most importantly...have fun.” She settled her mic onto the stand. “Oh, and if you didn’t know, we’re Pynk.” 

Emma and Ruby began to play the opening chords to Old Town Road Remix, and the crowd immediately reacted. It was easier for Emma to get lost in the music when there was so much infectious energy from the audience. Merida opened the song. 

_Yeah, I'm gonna take my horse to the old town road_

_I'm gonna ride 'til I can't no more_

_I'm gonna take my horse to the old town road_

_I'm gonna ride 'til I can't no more_

Emma loved her exaggerated accent, and she let herself fall deeper into the song, the performance. Ruby sang the first verse when the band all filled in the chorus and the refrain. They really did sound good together. The song was more of them letting loose, showing that they didn’t take themselves too seriously. It was also very popular with kids and teens. As the third verse approached, Emma cupped the mic with one hand and the neck of her guitar in the other as she sang. 

_Hat down, cross town, livin' like a rock star_

_Spent a lot of money on my brand new guitar_

_Baby's got a habit: diamond rings and Fendi sports bras_

_Ridin' down Rodeo in my Maserati sports car_

_Got no stress, I've been through all that_

_I'm like a Marlboro Man so I kick on back_

_Wish I could roll on back to that old town road_

_I wanna ride 'til I can't no more_

They finished the song together, and it set the tone for the show. It flowed well, and there was great crowd engagement. Though it was difficult, Emma sang _Kiss,_ and she didn’t stumble or waver. _Trouble Is_ happened with Ruby taking command of the stage and the crowd. 

Emma and Ruby switched to electric guitars for the next song. “All right, she usually hides behind the drums, but you’re in for a treat.” 

Emma and Ruby played the opening together, then Mulan led the song. 

_Said I love you 'til you don't know you're born_

_Said I'd love you 'til the far side of dawn_

_But in the morning if you must leave_

_Don't leave with your apologies_

_If you come back_

_If I liked you at all_

_Remember I liked you to fall on your knees_

_Liar liar you're my last desire_

_Thought your kind of love was just a thorn of the rose_

_Tried hard to be faithful_

_Not hard enough I suppose_

_Tried hard to drown with a hum and a drum_

_In a pretty drug slum mire tried bearing your sighs_

_And your sneers and your frown_

_Tried wearing your jewels and your heels and your crown_

_But it was nothing but a twist of barbwire_

_It was nothing but a twist of barbwire_

_It was nothing but a twist of barbwire_

It was always nice to have Mulan lead a song. She did hide in the background, but when she was given the spotlight, Mulan didn’t disappoint. She managed to adapt her voice to whatever was needed at the moment. They finished the song and moved into the next one. 

They were more than halfway through their set when Emma saw her. She wasn't in front, and she wasn’t in the center like usual, but she was there on the far left, wearing sunglasses, jeans, and Emma’s tank top. That was how she’d spotted her. The shirt. _She still wore it._ Emma was frozen, and that had never happened before. Everything melted away. She missed her cue, and Ruby was there, ready to step in, but it was enough to pull Emma back into the present. 

Emma took a deep breath when _No One Will Ever Love You_ ended. She didn’t know if she could perform _Blind_ with Regina in the crowd watching her. She looked over at Ruby, who arched an eyebrow in question. Emma knew they could skip it. They’d pull something together, add another solo even though there had already been three, but it could work. Ultimately though, Emma felt a need to sing the song. There was a part of her that wanted Regina to hear it. So she closed her eyes and began to play. 

_Crying underwater_

_Breathing in outer space_

_Putting faith into something that could never take place_

_Would you give every shard of my heart back to me_

_Would you come through the wreckage for its life to receive?_

_I've been searching for answers_

_I've been workin' on a cure_

_I've been a slow song dancer to a rhythm that ain't pure_

_I will come around tomorrow_

_And forget yesterday_

_I will bleed out the sorrow that you put in me today_

_Cause I'm going blind_

_I'm going blind_

_I'm going blind_

_Was young when I met you_

_Running wild as can be_

_Maybe someday I'll forget you_

_Guess it wasn't meant to be_

_I will cut through a decision_

_I will take what is mine_

_I trust in my visions_

_But I will not trust my eyes_

_Because I'm going blind_

_I'm going blind_

_I'm going blind_

The brief instrumental interlude gave Emma time to collect herself. She chanced a glance in Regina’s direction and saw her staring, her sunglasses shoved into her hair. She looked beautiful and sad. She looked like...like the woman Emma was falling in love with. She closed her eyes and fell back into the song. 

_I'm a lonesome survivor_

_I'm the only one left here_

_You started the fire, but you only burned for fear_

_I made it to the finish_

_I can claim my victory_

_I memorized this moment_

_If my eyes could only see_

_Because I'm going blind_

_I'm going blind_

_I'm going blind_

The rest of the show went by in a bit of a haze, and when they closed it with _If Today Was Your Last Day,_ Emma felt like she’d run a marathon. She was exhausted and drained. Before they stepped off stage, she looked over to where Regina was but didn’t see her. It saddened Emma, and while she told herself that Regina didn’t owe her anything anymore, it didn’t change how tight her chest felt, or the pain in the pit of her stomach. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Featured Songs *in order of appearance
> 
> Old Town Road Remix- Lil Nas X ft. Billy Ray Cyrus  
> Twist of Barbwire- Nashville Cast (Clare's Version)  
> Blind- Nashville Cast


	15. Chapter 15

Regina walked into the Rabbit Hole and was utterly taken aback by the noise. It was loud. Very loud. She should have expected as much on karaoke night. Someone was singing a Whitney Houston song, poorly. The crowd was drunk enough, so they either ignored her or cheered her on. Their drunkenness must have been encouraging because the girl went for a big finish. The crowd cheered, and she handed the mic back to the DJ. 

“All right! Thank you, Stacey! Now, it’s been requested multiple times. Can we get Emma Swan to step from behind the bar and come on down?”

Regina’s breathing hitched, and she couldn’t help but look. There she was wearing a Ramones t-shirt—the one Regina wore to the first show at the Dragon’s Lair— and what Regina assumed were jeans. Emma was mixing drinks and looking very good doing it. It’d been a week since she’d seen her last. After the show, she was hard-pressed to catch of glimpse of Emma unless she was watching videos on Youtube or looking through all the pictures Emma sent over the course of their relationship. 

“Come on, Emma! Jack can handle the bar for one song. It’s just one song, Emma.” The DJ began an **Emma** chant, and Regina watched while Emma said something to Jack. Then she was jumping over the bar and heading for the karaoke section. Patrons cheered. Regina had been wrong about the jeans. Emma was wearing cut-off shorts. She was tan, and her legs looked amazing. 

“What am I singing?”

“Something I know you know.” 

The instrumental for something vaguely familiar began to play, but Emma knew the song. Her face lit up, and she began to perform. 

_I'm in a bar full of bikers_

_And a handful of junkies_

_It's a fifty-fifty chance that they're_

_Plannin' to jump me_

_Anybody drinking here is lucky just to leave here alive oh_

_Well my favorite little waitress has_

_Ahold of my eyes_

_But here's a shotgun_

_Loaded hidden under the bar_

_Her finger's on the trigger_

_If anybody gets out of line_

Regina recognized the song as something she’d heard while Emma and Lily worked on the bug. Emma liked the song. That much was obvious by how into the moment she was. Regina didn’t think she’d seen Emma throw her hair around so much in a performance before. It was cute. 

_Oh, she grabbed a bottle of tequila_

_And a lime for her lips_

_Laid her body on the bar_

_And put the salt on her hips_

_Was lying when I told her_

_That I'm the only gonna lick her tonight_

_There's other places that are better to go_

_But I'm addicted to the red light show_

_Feel like a king and she's my ace in the hole_

_And I can't get enough of the things that she does_

_She's gonna be my midnight queen_

_Locked and loaded_

_I'm ready to go_

_She's gonna lick my pistol clean_

_She's got ahold of me and ain't lettin' go_

_She's gonna be my sex machine_

_And I can never get her under control_

_She's gonna climb all over me_

_I'm like a pony in my own rodeo_

_And I can't get enough of_

_The things that she does, alright_

It was lewd and sexy. Regina knew first hand what it meant to have Emma between her legs, and she'd be lying if she said she hadn't missed it. The performance was raunchy and arousing. There were girls near the front that reached for Emma, but Emma was lost in the song, in the moment. She walked back and forth across the small stage. Pelvic thrusts, hair flips, and a few salacious winks spurred the crowd. When the song ended, there was thunderous applause. 

“Emma-Fucking-Swan, lead singer and guitarist of Pynk. Check them out on Youtube and support them on Patreon!” the DJ called. 

Regina watched Emma make her way back to the bar, many people stopping her, though Regina couldn’t hear what was being said. She tried to keep her distance, unsure of what exactly she’d hoped to accomplish when showing up to where Emma worked. She wanted to see her, wanted to talk to her, maybe? Apologize for how awful she’d been? Regina didn’t know, but she’d dressed the part in skin-tight jeans, fitted V-neck shirt, and ankle booties. She’d left her hair naturally curly and had worn minimal make-up. Regina wanted to blend in but stand out at the same time. She wanted Emma to see her and hear her out. It was selfish, but Regina didn’t know how much longer she could wait. Emma needed to understand how important she was and how much Regina cared for her. 

Regina took a deep breath and made her way to the bar. It was not an easy feat. Lots of people wanted drinks and attention from Emma. Regina was on Emma’s right side, just within her peripheral vision. She waited, not wanting to call attention to herself yet. She watched Emma work. Up close, it was clear she’d taken to the job with ease. She mixed drinks, poured shots, and grabbed bottles without looking. She was a natural, and they loved it. Emma gave an easy smile, a sly look, and the occasional wink as she put tips into the jar. 

It was as she was pouring a round of shots that Regina knew she’d been spotted. Emma tensed, her easy grin faltered, and she took a deep breath. Regina inhaled deeply, not sure what would happen, but accepting that good or bad, she’d brought it on herself. 

* * *

_Shit_. Emma cursed herself when she caught a glimpse of Regina out of the corner of her eye. She knew it was her, could sense her, feel her. She smiled at the guy who’d ordered the whiskey shots and took another order. She wasn’t ready to look at her yet, but she knew she would. Regina had stationed herself on Emma’s side of the bar. She popped the top off of two PBRs and pushed them across the bartop. 

“Keep the change.” She took the $10, rang it in, and put the five-dollar tip into her tip jar. Karaoke was always a good night for tips, mostly because she usually did a couple of songs for the DJ. She took a deep breath and turned to Regina, completely unprepared to see her up close. Her hair was curly, almost as if she’d just woken up, just a bit tamer. Her make-up was light, and she was wearing a v-neck shirt. She looked good, better than good. 

“Hi.” 

Her voice was husky, and her eyes were heavy. Emma was lightheaded and felt a pang deep in her belly. For the first time since their breakup, it didn’t hurt; Emma just felt warm and hungry. She wanted to devour Regina, and she didn’t know what to do with that. 

“Hey. Whiskey, or do you want a vodka tonic? Sorry, we don’t carry apple cider.” 

She smiled, and it was a gut-punch. Emma bit her lip and closed her eyes before clearing her throat, waiting for Regina’s response. This woman would ruin her, and she'd say thank you. She was helpless. 

“Cognac, neat. A double, please.” 

Regina licked her lips, and it was like someone had turned on a faucet in Emma's pants. Emma was frustrated with her body as she grabbed a bottle of D’Usse and poured Regina’s drink. She didn’t want to be turned on just looking at her, but it seemed her body had other plans. Emma knew she missed Regina, knew that she thought about her daily. Her songbook could attest to that. She often berated herself: was she justified in the breakup? Had she overreacted? She’d never felt so uncertain before, and it was maddening. 

Emma slid the drink across to Regina, and when Regina set a bill on the bar, Emma shook her head. 

“It’s on me.” 

“Emma…”

“I’m working, Regina. I can’t.” She wasn’t brushing her off, but the bar was packed. She began taking orders and filling them, though she kept an eye on Regina. A couple of times, someone sidled up next to her and tried to talk her up. She brushed them off, politely, it would seem, a smile on her face, which was why Emma nearly dropped her shaker when she saw Regina talking to Graham. He’d left town for a while, but he was back, and he had his eyes on Regina. That part wasn’t surprising. Hell, half the bar had their eyes on Regina. She was talking to him, smiling and _laughing_ with him. Emma didn’t like it, not at all. She’d never felt possessive of another person before, but then again, none of her exes were Regina. 

Emma watched Graham lead Regina away. What was worse was Regina didn’t look at her as she passed by. _Maybe they’re on a date._ She didn’t want to let that thought linger, but she couldn’t help it. All signs pointed to a date, and they looked quite cozy at the pool table. Emma couldn’t watch for long. Dollar shots started at midnight, and she knew that the bar would be swarmed, even more than it already was. 

Throughout dollar shots hour, Emma peeked over at Regina when she could, but that wasn’t as often as she liked. She poured shots easily, without much thought, her mind on everything that had happened. She was starting to feel uneasy at the idea that Regina had moved on. Emma didn’t know how to feel about that possibility. There were no guarantees. She and Regina were miles apart, lives going in two opposite directions. There was always an expiration on their time together, but Emma thought they’d have more time, more memories. She hadn’t expected it all to end before she’d really been able to enjoy it. It didn’t seem fair, and it was cruel of Regina to flaunt her newest fling in Emma’s face. She looked over, unable to stop herself, but what she saw both gave her hope and enraged her. Regina leaned over the table with Graham behind her. Her face said she wanted him far away from her, yet he didn’t seem to get the hint. Regina tried to shift away from him, but it didn’t appear she could. Emma took a deep breath and wiped her hands. 

“6 shots of vodka, please.” He dropped a ten on the bar. “Keep the rest for yourself.” Emma nodded and poured the shots, sliding them across the bar. She rang in his order and dropped the change in her tip jar. 

“Jack, I’m taking 5.” 

“Not a minute more, Swan.” 

She nodded once, and before she even registered what she was doing, she was heading over to the pool tables. Graham had, once again, found himself standing behind Regina, holding her. Regina’s grip on the pool stick was so tight Emma could see that her knuckles were white. 

“Just slide it through, nice and easy.” 

Emma stepped up to the table, standing right in Regina’s line of sight. The brunette stood up abruptly and nearly knocked Graham over. He was drunk, not trashed, but intoxicated enough that he could cause a problem. 

“Emma.” 

He looked up then, his eyes struggling to focus. “Oh, hey, you’re the sheriff’s kid. Not much of a kid though, are you.” 

Emma flared her nostrils. “Maybe you should head home. I’ll call a cab for you.” 

Graham scoffed and waved her off. “Ppff, I still have a game to finish.” He pulled Regina close to him. Emma didn’t like that Regina winced or how his grip was unwelcomed. 

“Come on, Graham, why don’t you let her go and get out of here.” 

“Hey! Your father's the sheriff, not you. Now go get me another drink.” He threw his empty glass at her, and she snagged it out of the air before it could hurt someone. 

“I think you’ve had enough.” Emma didn’t mind this part of her job, getting rid of drunks. It was made more enjoyable that the asshole had been fondling Regina against her will. She walked around the table and grabbed Graham’s arm. Her grip was firm, and she leaned close to his ear. 

“Please give me a reason to embarrass you. I dare you.” She knew she sounded threatening; she could tell by the way all the color drained from his face. He shook his head and allowed her to escort him out of the bar. She sat him on the bench and called for a cab, and by cab, she meant the on-duty deputy who would escort him home. She waited outside until the cruiser pulled up with Mulan inside, a smirk on her face. 

“Well, hello deputy,” Emma said, returning the smirk. 

“Hey, Em.” Mulan ushered Graham into the car. “I’ll get him home.” 

Emma nodded and watched Mulan drive off. When she turned around, Regina was standing there, looking flustered and shy.

“Thanks, I um….I appreciate it.” 

“No big deal. Are you ok? Did he hurt you?” 

“No, yes. I mean, yes, I’m ok, and no, he didn’t hurt me.” 

They stood there for a moment, staring at each other. Regina took a step forward, and Emma took one back. Regina deflated. “I shouldn’t have come. I’m sorry.” 

Emma looked away, unsure of what to say. She took a deep breath. “It’s a bar. You’re allowed to have a drink.” 

Regina chuckled, though it held no mirth, no joy. “We both know I didn’t come here for a free drink.” 

“Regina….I….I really have to get back.” 

Emma headed toward the door, ready to lose herself in the next couple of hours. 

“Is this over, completely? Should I...should I give up?”

Emma stopped and took a deep breath. She didn’t know if she could allow herself to let Regina go completely. She knew she didn’t want Regina to be with anyone else, not because she was selfish but because there were things she hadn’t said to Regina. And she thought there were things Regina hadn’t said. Good things, things that would change everything. 

She exhaled slowly and looked over her shoulder. “I hope not. “ 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Featured Song
> 
> Midnight Queen- Nickelback


	16. Chapter 16

"So, are you really gonna move into it?" Lily asked as they scrolled through pictures of the two-bedroom house that also had a basement. Emma shrugged, but she wanted to. She could turn the basement into her music room. Buy some equipment, and maybe they could start recording things. They were finalists. Their social media had seen a push after Geffen Records featured them in their announcement of finalists. She'd given up on the idea of the townhouse once they began turning a profit with Patreon, and with month two doubling in patrons, Emma felt confident that she could afford to rent the house. 

"You should, it's nice." 

Emma sighed. "Yea, especially with the baby on the way." 

Lily snuggled close to Emma. "Do you want your own place because of the baby or because you actually want it?" 

"I want something that's mine. I remember how happy and proud I was when I got the bike and how great it felt to finish the bug. I want to have something that no one can take away from me or put me out of if they get tired of me. I want to walk around in a tank top and boxers and have beers in the fridge. I want bean bag chairs and a futon. I want a king-size bed because I've never had one. I want to have a housewarming party, and have it be _my_ house." 

"Then you should do it. You can afford it, and it's been empty for months. Gold will probably give you a good deal. Especially after how well the festival went." 

Emma nodded and kept looking at pictures of the house. She could picture herself in it: having the band come over and hang out, band practice in the basement, or the garage. She could have girls around and not worry about MM and David seeing them. That thought put a damper on her mood, because the only person she was interested in was Regina, and things were so complicated it made her stomach hurt. 

"What's wrong?" Lily asked. "You're doing that thing with your face." 

"Regina came to the Rabbit Hole Saturday night." 

Lily sat up and looked at Emma, eyes wide. "Holy shit. I didn't know she was going to do that. Was it awkward? Are you okay?" 

Emma shrugged. "It was awkward, but just because there's so much tension between us. I know it's on me, but I just...I don't know. She saw me perform for karaoke, she ordered a drink, then Graham asked her to play pool, he got a little handsy, and I went over to get rid of him. She uh, she asked me if she should give up. If we were actually over." 

Lily leaned her head to the side. "Well, are you?" 

Emma exhaled and looked away. "I told her I hoped not." 

"Well, that's a start, right? I mean, it's good news. You haven't completely written her off." 

"I couldn't write her off, Lils. I was falling for her. I'm just….it's hard. You know? She's Regina Mills, a surgeon. Her family owns half the town. Her ex owns the newest bar in town, and they have a 20-year history, and I'm an orphan. I can't compete with any of that. I don't measure up." 

"Em, my ma doesn't care about that, and her and my mom are over. Like completely over. She cares about you. You have to know that." 

"For now, but she'll get bored and throw me away." 

"She's not like all those people from your past." 

"She was hurtful on the phone. It was awful, and I didn't know that woman, the one who was all 'Emma, you play guitar in a band, and you're a bartender,' and 'I want more for my daughter, that's all. She has so much potential.' I don't know that person, and I don't want to. I love my band, and I love playing guitar. If that somehow makes me less than her or you, then I'll be that. I will get over how much I miss her and move on."

"Emma?" MM knocked on the door and then pushed it open. "Hey, oh hi, Lily, I didn't know you were here." 

"Hi, Mrs. Nolan." 

"You know you can call me Mary-Margaret. I've told you so many times." 

Lily laughed and nodded. "I know, it just feels weird." 

"What's up, MM?" 

"Oh, yes. David is taking me on a getaway while I can still see my feet. He won't tell me where we're going but schools out, and he was able to get three days off, so we're going. We'll be back Friday afternoon. You'll probably be asleep, but we just wanted you to know." 

"Okay, well, have fun."

MM closed the door, and Lily looked at Emma. "You should talk to her." 

"Lily…"

"Just hear me out. You'll have the loft to yourself. This is your territory, and it's been over a month since everything happened. You've had a couple days to think over seeing her at the bar, and you're off tonight. You could invite her over and talk to her." 

"I don't know, Lils." 

"I'm gonna be honest. You're both fucking miserable, and it's awful. I love you both, and I hate that you're so unhappy. So maybe see if there's still some happy there?" 

Emma bit her lip and took a moment to think it over before taking a deep breath and pulling her phone out. 

**Emma:** I have the loft to myself, wanna talk?

Lily read over her shoulder. "Okay, not quite what I would've said, but it works." 

"Sorry. But wait, we were supposed to hang out today, shit, I'm sorry. I'll tell her nevermind." 

Lily grabbed Emma's phone. "You will not use me as an excuse not to talk to her. I'll just head over to Ruby's place." 

Emma smirked. "I'm sure you will." 

"Don't even. I told you, we're just friends." 

"Uh-huh. If you say so." 

"I do say so." Lily stuck her tongue out. Emma's phone vibrated, and they fought over it. Emma snatched it back and opened the text message. 

**Regina:** Of course, I can come now if that works.

"Well, that's my cue to leave. Walk me out. That way, you can check to see if your folks are gone." 

Lily collected her bag, phone, and charger, and then they headed downstairs. It was empty, and David's keys were gone. 

"Looks like the place is yours. Now put your big girl boxers on and get you some happy." 

* * *

**Emma:** that works. 

Regina stared at the text, her heart pounding. Her hands shook, and she tried to calm herself. Saturday night hadn't gone as planned, and she was at the hospital all day Sunday and Monday, so she hadn't had much time to think about what happened. Emma hadn't written her off. That was good, and now she wanted to talk. There was no way to know what would happen, but she knew she had to find out. 

She pulled on a t-shirt that Lily had given her and a pair of jeans. Her hair was wild and a bit curly because she didn't blow dry it after her shower, but she didn't have time to fight with it. She just put some product in it and fluffed it a little. Regina threw on a tinted moisturizer, a little mascara, and tinted lip oil. 

The drive to the loft was the longest of Regina's life. She was terrified and excited all at the same time. She hadn't been alone with Emma since their day trip. She missed her immensely, but she reminded herself that she'd done this. Regina had pushed Emma away, and she had to be willing to listen to Emma and not ignore what happened. 

She parked the car and took a deep breath, centering herself. It would be fine. Whatever happened, she would accept it. Regina stepped out of the car and wiped her sweaty hands on her jeans. Walking into the building made her feel like her heart would explode. She took the stairs one at a time, readying herself for whatever would happen. She knocked twice and waited. It didn't take long before Emma opened the door. 

"Hey." 

"Hi." Regina could feel the tears already, and she fought to keep them at bay. She would not do that. It was unfair.

Emma stepped aside and let her in. It was weird being in the loft, in a space that was Emma's but not Emma's at the same time. 

"Do you want anything to drink?" Emma asked while walking toward the kitchen.

"Um, water would be fine." Things had never been so awkward between them. Even when they were fighting their attraction for one another, the atmosphere around them wasn't so stuffy. Regina felt like she could hardly breathe. 

"Sit with me?" Emma asked, taking a seat on the couch. 

Regina did as she asked and sat on the opposite side, giving Emma space. She reached for the bottle of water Emma brought her and took a drink because she needed to do something with her hands, and it would hopefully help her keep her mouth shut. This was about Emma, and she would be patient. 

"Is that my shirt?" 

Regina struggled to swallow before looking down at her shirt. "Um, no…? Lily gave it to me about two weeks ago, said it was too big for her." 

Emma chuckled and leaned forward, looking at the shirt more closely. "Of course she did. That's definitely my shirt, by the way." 

"I didn't know. I didn't wear it for sympathy or something, it's just comfortable and one of the first things I grabbed." 

"Ok." 

Regina nodded and drank more of her water. 

"This is awkward," Emma blurted. Regina nearly spit her water out, slapping her hand over her mouth to keep from doing so. 

"Sorry." Emma chuckled and got up to get Regina a towel. 

"It's fine." Regina took the offered towel and wiped her mouth and hand. 

"So, uh, things got out of hand that night, and I think I need to know why. Why did you say the things you said?" 

Regina took a deep breath and closed her eyes, ashamed. "There's no excuse for what I said, especially because I don't feel that way. Lily came to us and said that she might want to take a year off before going to college. I honestly didn't see much of an issue with it. People do it all the time. It wasn't a big deal, but Mal was furious, and that made her mean. She accused me of putting orgasms before Lily's future and said I was weak for a blonde who could make me come. It made me angry, but it also made me second guess myself. When I called you, and you had no idea what the hell I was talking about, I thought, well, this is fine. Then things spiraled. I wanted to fight, and you were there, and that is no reason to say any of the things I said, but it's the truth. I let Mal get to me, and I took it out on you. When I realized what I'd done, it was too late, I'd already hurt you, and there was no way to backtrack and fix it. I'm so sorry, Emma, you didn't deserve that." 

Emma nodded and looked away. "I didn't. And I was so angry at myself because I'd just started to get comfortable, to think that I meant something to you. It felt like all those times I'd get put with a foster family, and things would be ok, and I'd get comfortable, and then things would fall apart. It reminded me of the family I was placed with who told me they would adopt me, but then the woman got pregnant, and they sent me back." 

There were tears in Emma's eyes, and Regina hated herself for being the one that put them there. Regina wanted to comfort her and tell her that she was nothing like those people and that she did want her, but Regina didn't know if Emma wanted that or if Emma just needed to get everything out. 

"I know I have issues, big ones. MM is pregnant, and even though I'm an adult, it was a punch in the face. It felt like the biggest rejection ever. They're young, and they want a family, and the rational part of me gets that and understands it, but the other part of me, the little girl who was passed over and sent back? Feels like it's happening all over again. You are everything I never thought I'd have in my life. You're smart and gorgeous. You're kind, and you're caring. You're supportive and honest. You're, by a standard, perfect, and I'm so ugly standing next to you. We never made sense, so it was easy to hear what you said and have all my fears confirmed. I can't hold a candle to you, but I wanted to try. I can't compete with Mal and the decades of history you all have, but I wanted to try. I just wanted you. I saw you, and everything in me screamed _it's_ _her_." 

Regina wiped her eyes and fought to keep her hands to herself. Her voice was soft and full of tears when she spoke. "I didn't want to like you. I didn't want to _want_ you when I met you, but I did. Immediately. And I hated myself for it. You were so similar to the one person that had caused me lots of pain, but you were nothing like her once I got to know you. And you had a reputation. The women of Storybrooke adore you. Some of them have had you, and the men either envy you or want a chance with you. It was scary, liking you, but my stupid heart wouldn't stop, and my brain couldn't dissuade it. So I leapt, and you caught me, and with me came all my baggage. A divorce, your best friend being my daughter, Mal, my elitist bullshit, all of it. It was easy being with you, and then I ruined it. I don't know how to fix it, or if I can fix it, but I miss you. That's selfish because this isn't about me, but it's true." 

Regina fisted her hand in her hair and shook her head. She was overwhelmed. "I'm still her, the woman that caused everything in you to scream. I want to be _her._ I want to be _it_ for you, Emma." 

Emma closed her eyes and sighed. "You've ruined me for any other woman, Regina. I was falling in love with you." 

That did it. Regina covered her mouth and squeezed her eyes shut, trying to swallow down the sobs that were clawing at her throat. Her shoulders shook as they tried to free themselves. 

"It scared me because that's not who I am. I don't fall in love. I fuck. We have a good time, and that's that. There's a rotation, and I was ok with that, and then you came along. Sex with you was more than sex. It was like coming home. It was belonging with someone. Belonging _to_ someone. I let you do things I never imagined I'd ever let anyone ever do to me. I gave you control. I gave you me. And you were so generous. It made me think that maybe it wasn't just me."

Regina shook her head. "It wasn't just you. I felt it too." 

"Do you still feel it?" Emma asked softly, eyes full of fear and hope. 

Regina nodded aggressively and tried to clear her throat. "Yes. I've felt like a piece of me is missing this past month and a half." 

Emma shifted closer to Regina, not close enough that they were touching but close enough that Regina could feel the heat from her skin. 

"You can't do this again. People fight. I get that, but Mal brings out a part of you that I don't like. A piece of you that is elitist and mean. When you're mad at Mal, you need to be mad at **her**. I can't be your punching bag. I'm too insecure for that." She reached for Regina's hand and laced their fingers together. 

Regina couldn't form words, so she nodded and squeezed Emma's hand. 

"Come upstairs. I want to show you something." 


	17. Chapter 17

The sky is pink, casting a pretty glow on the bed while Regina holds Emma close, her mind racing. The emotions were high the night before, and that spilled over into their coupling. It filled the room. Regina hadn’t had many sexual partners in her life. She’d had a lot of sex, but none of it compared to sex with Emma. She wasn’t cliche, didn’t call it making love, but there was another level that she and Emma reached when they were together. If she were that kind of woman, that’s what she would call it. _Lovemaking._ It was the kind of thing that made her question her spiritual beliefs and double down her belief in reincarnation because this couldn’t be her only chance to experience Emma; they had to have done this before. 

Emma made her feel young and giddy. Emma terrified her. Emma was exhilarating. Emma was the first person she loved and didn’t second guess. She second-guessed her attraction, attributing it to how similar Mal and Emma were. When she began to care for her, she thought maybe it was because she was lonely. But loving Emma just felt right, like it was supposed to happen all along. Being without Emma made Regina realize just how much she wanted to be with Emma. Love was not something she'd set out looking for when she left Robin. Regina thought coming home would mean comfort and some kind of routine, but Emma had different plans. Being back in Storybrooke meant growth and a new insufferable blonde that she didn't want to lose. It meant suggestive remarks and sneaking around, and falling for someone who was over a decade her junior. If you'd have told Regina when she arrived in Storybrooke that she be where she was now, she'd have laughed and told you to fuck off. After Robin, she'd planned to be celibate and single for a while. Again, Emma had other plans. 

She kissed Emma’s shoulder and pulled her closer, thoughts of their night together filling her mind. Seven weeks was a long time to go without sex, especially when the sex you were having was as good as the sex Emma and Regina had. When Regina followed Emma upstairs, she didn't know what to expect, but Emma's box of possessions wasn't one of them. Emma wanted her to understand why she was insecure, and it was easy to see it. There were remnants of all of her placements and the blanket from her birth mother. Regina had only meant to hug her, to show her that she understood and that she would be better, but one thing led to another. Regina poured her entire soul into it. She didn't want Emma to ever second guess what they had. 

“Mmmmm, Regina?” Emma’s voice was full of sleep, and Regina loved it. A half-asleep Emma was adorable, and Regina secretly couldn't get enough of it. She was so soft and clingy when she was waking up; it was sweet. 

“Were you expecting someone else?”

Emma chuckled. “Nope.” She yawned and stretched. “What time is it?” 

“Almost seven, I think.” 

Emma turned around in Regina's arms and tangled their legs together. “Why are you awake?” 

Regina smiled. “I’m usually awake around this time. You know that. Sometimes I go back to sleep, other times I don’t.” 

Emma kissed her throat and hummed. “I vote we go back to sleep.” 

* * *

“Will you tell me about the song?” Regina asked. It was weird, Regina in a pair of Emma's boxers and another one of her tank tops, cooking in the kitchen. She couldn’t help but be a little paranoid that David and MM were going to come strolling in, even though she knew they were long gone on their min-vacation. They were alone, and it made Emma want her own place even more so that she wouldn't have to worry about who could walk in. 

“Emma?” 

“Huh? What?” 

Regina plated the pancakes and slid them over to Emma “The song you were playing for Lily in the garage?” 

Emma blushed and looked down at her plate. “Oh, that was just something I threw together.” 

She didn’t look up at Regina, but she knew she was being watched. She cut her pancakes and poured syrup on them. _The Book_ was one of the first things she wrote after that phone call. Emma knew that Regina had a mean streak, had been on the receiving end of it before, and that song was where she went to deal with all of those feelings. 

“What about the one from the Summer Festival?” 

Emma shoved a massive bite of food in her mouth and chewed slowly, following it with a gulp of orange juice. “These are great pancakes. Holy shit.” 

Regina crossed her arms and leaned against the counter next to the stove. She arched an eyebrow, and Emma tried not to cave. She didn’t want to go back there, to that place where everything was sad, and she was hurting. They'd talked last night and worked through things, and they had a plan in place. There was no reason to dwell on the past. But when she looked at Regina, she knew that she wasn't going to let it go. 

She cleared her throat and put down her fork. “I write what I’m feeling or when I’m inspired. Songwriting is therapeutic. It’s how I safely work through my shit. So, one of my songbooks is full of sad or angry songs, because that’s where I was for the last month and a half. The song you heard in the garage is titled _The Book,_ and the one from the show is _Blind._ I couldn’t carry all those emotions around, so I wrote them down.” 

Regina sat down across from Emma and picked up her fork, stealing a bite from her plate. “They were both beautiful and heartbreaking. I’m sorry you had to write them.” 

Emma accepted the bite Regina offered, blushing at the gesture. “It’s ok. We’re not there anymore, and they are great songs.” 

Regina nodded, and they ate together, Regina picking off of Emma’s plate because it was ‘easier than getting her own.’ Emma pretended she minded, but she didn’t. She enjoyed having Regina around to have breakfast with. If she were honest, just having Regina around made her feel better. 

“So, I found a place. It’s a two-bedroom off of Main Street. There’s a basement and a garage. It’s not too big, but it’s enough space for me, and it’s affordable. I make good money at the bar, and Patreon was a great idea for helping us make money as a band. I’m going to do it. I already downloaded the application for it.” 

“That’s amazing, Emma! I’m happy for you.” Emma picked up her phone and slid it over to Regina so she could look at the pictures. It was cute seeing how excited Regina was. 

Emma blushed and nodded. “Yeah, and maybe now you won’t have to spend money to spend the night with me.” 

“Oh?"

She continued to flip through photos, looking at some longer than others. When she'd gone through all of the images, she set the phone down. Regina sat pensively, resting her chin on her fist. "I want a dresser drawer.” 

Emma leaned her head to the side. “Done.” 

Regina smirked. “I want half the closet.” 

Emma inhaled and then exhaled noisily. “You can have the full closet in the second bedroom.” 

Regina stood and walked around the small island and leaned down near Emma's ear. “I want the right side of the bed.” 

“Left side.” 

“Hmmm, It’s the right side, or I’m afraid there’s no deal.” 

Emma spun around on the stool and pulled Regina between her parted thighs. “Left side of the bed and a key.” 

Regina leaned in and kissed her, all tongue and passion. Emma cupped her supple ass and accepted the kiss, tangling her tongue with Regina’s. She sucked on Regina’s tongue, basking in the sound vibrating in the back of Regina’s throat. 

“You got yourself a deal, Swan.” 

Did she just ask Regina to move in with her? And then Regina agreed? Because that’s what it felt like, and she hadn’t even gotten the place yet. What would it mean? Were they still hiding their relationship? So many questions, but she didn’t want to dwell on them. She was far more interested in having Regina in her arms. 

“Hey, there’s something I want to show you.” 

Regina arched her eyebrow, a knowing look in her eyes. “Oh?” 

“Not that.” Emma snorted and gave Regina a love tap on her ass. “Gimme a minute.” 

Emma ran upstairs and grabbed her guitar and her songbook. She didn’t need it, but she figured why not? When she went back downstairs, Regina was cleaning up the kitchen from their late breakfast. It was so domestic it made Emma's stomach all warm and fuzzy. She was going to have a place where Regina could come and cook and sleep without worrying about who was around. 

“Hey, I want to play you something.” Emma put her guitar on and motioned for Regina to sit on the barstool. She strummed her fingers across the strings, tuning it when necessary. 

“This is called _Before You,_ and I wrote it after our trip to Canada.” 

_Woah_

_Yeah yeah_

_And I, I got a heart on fire_

_And it's beating like it means it for the first time_

_And you, you got a golden soul_

_And your kiss gives me amnesia_

_If you told me I don't believe you, I was just born_

_It's like time, wasn't true_

_Before you, I don't remember who I was_

_And baby your love has got me fuzzy, just like everything was just a dream_

_Before you, it's all a blurry memory_

_You look at me and everything is deja vu_

_Before you_

_So, what do you wanna do?_

_Now that we know heaven's not a place you go to_

_And we, we got it in our hands, don't it feel just like forever?_

_Ain't it funny, feels just like it always has been_

_Just like time, wasn't true_

_Before you, I don't remember who I was_

_And baby your love has got me fuzzy, just like everything was just a dream_

_Before you, it's all a blurry memory_

_You look at me and everything is deja vu_

_Before you_

_Oh, before you_

_Just a soul, this ain't true_

_Oh before you, I don't remember who I was_

_And baby your love has got me fuzzy, just like everything was just a dream_

_Before you, it's all a blurry memory_

_You look at me and everything is deja vu_

_Before you, oh yeah_

Emma took a deep breath and finished playing the last chords of the song. Regina was smiling at her, tears in her eyes. Emma decided then that she didn't want to hide anymore and that she didn't care if people didn't like them together. 

“I love you,” Emma whispered, taking her guitar off and leaning it against the dining room table. Regina froze, eyes wide, mouth slightly open. If it were any other situation, it would have been funny, but Emma had really put herself out there. It didn’t look like an adverse reaction, so that was a good thing. 

Emma walked over to Regina and wiped the tears off her cheeks. “You don’t have to say anything. I didn’t—”

“I love you, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Featured Songs 
> 
> Before You- Nashville Cast


	18. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for embarking on this journey. This year's Supernova fic was a joy to write. I couldn't do it alone and I'm so grateful to everyone who helped me along. I hoped you liked it! Thank you so much for reading!
> 
> ~Jem

Emma was pacing, completely losing her mind. She shouldn’t be nervous. It was no big deal. She was having a housewarming party. The place looked great: it was cozy, and everything she wanted it to be, and there was no reason to be nervous. 

“Emma, can you put the bread in the oven?” 

Well, there was that. She and Regina were coming out to all of the important people in her life. That was terrifying. She’d told Regina it was a bad idea, they would send MM into premature labor, but Regina didn’t want to hide, and she’d been slowly moving her things in for the last week. It was time to tell them. "Them" was only the band, and MM, and David, but it was a big deal. The news would spread, and everyone would know. She was dating Regina Mills. It was nothing to be ashamed of, but would people judge them? Judge Regina? Her girlfriend didn’t seem to care what anyone thought, but Emma didn’t want anyone to talk badly about Regina. She wouldn’t stand for it. 

Emma went into the kitchen and opened the oven. The smell of lasagna wafted out, making her mouth water. She put two loaves of garlic bread into the oven and closed the door. One of the many perks of living with Regina was how much she enjoyed cooking. She was like something off of the Food Network when she was in the kitchen. It was a joy to watch and a greater joy to eat. 

There was a part of her that was excited for the secret to be out. It’d been tough keeping it quiet when she was moving in. Regina had been very hands-on with the process, directing traffic and talking with the movers. The band didn’t notice much, but MM was a little uneasy and even asked why Regina was so involved. Emma had come up with a subpar excuse to placate MM and threw an “it’s no big deal, mom” at her to distract her. It was almost unfair to use ‘mom’ as a distraction, but it wasn’t like she _never_ said it. She just didn’t say it often. 

Regina hadn’t shied away from any of the couple-y things that took place when moving in together, even though it took place in secret. They’d stopped beating around the bush and just came out and said, ‘we’re moving in together,’ because they’d decided it made the most sense. No need for Regina to pay rent somewhere else when she’d probably spend the bulk of her time at Emma’s house anyway. They’d shopped for furniture together, argued about furniture, compromised, and then argued more. Emma had a clear idea of what she wanted, and Regina had a very refined palate that did not mesh well initially, but they worked hard to make it so. Emma felt like there was a healthy mixture of her style and Regina’s. And, because Regina was generous, the entire basement was dedicated to the band. She had gone all out for it. She’d paid to have the basement soundproofed as a housewarming gift, and the walls were decorated with some of Emma’s favorite bands and artists. The photo from the Storybrooke Mirror had been blown up and hung on one of the walls. She’d bought Emma bean bags, costly bean bags. The entire room screamed _Emma_ , and she was excited to show everyone. The band was chomping at the bit to get down there. It had been off-limits since Emma moved in. She was excited about the big reveal. 

The doorbell rang, and Emma felt her stomach drop. She looked down the hall and saw Regina walking from the second bedroom back into their shared bedroom. Regina had been serious about the closet. All of her stuff wasn’t even in the house yet, and she already took up half of the closet in the other bedroom. They ended up buying two dressers because one drawer was a laughable notion. 

“Em! Open this damn door! We want to see!” 

“I’m coming!” She could hear laughter as she approached. She opened the door and was immediately attacked. They’d all arrived together: Ruby, Merida, Mulan, and Lily. Ruby shoved past her to get inside. 

“This is fucking gorgeous. You did this? The decorating? Yourself?” Ruby asked as she looked around the living room. 

Emma shrugged but didn’t have time to answer because there was a timid knock on the door. She opened it, and there stood MM and David. “Hey! Come in.” 

MM was looking quite pregnant, but it was cute. David ushered her inside and hugged Emma. 

“Not bad, Emma,” he said when he pulled away.

“It’s beautiful. Did you have help?” 

Lily smirked, and Emma glared at her. “Uh, yes. I did have help. There’s actually something I want to tell you. To tell all of you.” 

It was funny, the looks on everyone’s faces. MM and David looked apprehensive, Ruby looked suspicious, Lily looked amused, Merida was oddly excited, and Mulan looked like she knew what was happening. 

Emma fiddled with her fingers trying to gather the courage and get her nerves under control when there was a collective gasp. 

“You were taking too long, and I need to check the bread.” Regina walked into the living room and kissed Emma’s cheek before going into the kitchen. 

“Uh, ok.” 

“No. Fucking. Way,” Ruby said.

“I knew it,” Mulan whispered.

“Way to go, Em,” Merida whooped with a massive smile on her face. 

Lily was giggling like a damn schoolgirl, and David and MM were on different emotional levels. MM looked like she couldn’t believe it, and David just looked impressed. 

“So, what I was going to say was that Regina and I are living together. As a couple.” Emma could feel the blush hot on her face, and everyone was staring at her. It made her so uncomfortable. She began to fidget and couldn’t look at them. 

“Would you all like to see the basement?” Again, there to save the day, Regina walked out of the kitchen and stood slightly behind Emma. She leaned forward and whispered in her ear, “hard part's over, dear.” 

* * *

The basement had helped ease some of the tension, and Regina had been a great hostess. The band loved it. Emma hadn’t mentioned that Regina had bought brand new instruments for them all. Merida looked like she would cry when she saw the Kawai sitting down there with a synthesizer. It was a joy. Ruby was as over the top as could be expected, and Mulan just had a knowing smile on her face the entire time. Regina was proud and glad that they all liked it. She had a brief conversation with David while the band checked out their new space. Mary-Margaret stayed to herself, but Regina wasn’t surprised by that. All in all, it was a success. 

Dinner was also a hit. Mary-Margaret complimented the meal, which made Emma nearly pass out. Regina found it endearing how much Emma worried about what David and Mary-Margaret thought. For all of her aloofness, Regina knew they were important to her, so she played nice and did everything she could to make sure everyone was comfortable. She’d like to think she succeeded. 

“So, it wasn’t Tink?” Ruby asked when they were all sitting around in the living room. 

Emma shook her head vigorously, and Lily hit Ruby with a pillow. “What? I just wanted to be sure.” 

“What wasn’t Tink?” Regina asked, looking at Emma. 

“You don’t want to know, I promise,” Mulan said, chuckling. 

Regina narrowed her eyes but didn’t say anything else. She was sure Emma would tell her whatever it was. She just sat back and enjoyed the company. The band chattered insistently, and it was entertaining to see them interacting. It was clear that they adored one another. Lily got up and excused herself, but Regina didn’t think much of it until she heard a scream from the kitchen. 

Everyone stopped talking as Lily came charging back into the living room, a look a shock on her face. “Oh my god.”

“Lily, what’s wrong?” Regina asked, but Lily didn’t say anything. 

“Hey, hot stuff, say something,” Ruby said, standing and reaching for Lily’s shoulders, shaking her gently.

Lily was frozen, and she handed the phone to Emma, who took it, though she was confused. 

“Hello?” 

Regina watched Emma’s face as she listened, and she too looked shocked and dropped the phone.

“Holy shit.” 

Regina looked between her daughter and Emma, picked the phone up, and put it on speaker. “This is Regina Mills, who’s calling?” 

The woman chuckled. “This is Angelica Wilson from Interscope Records, calling for someone affiliated with the band Pynk.” 

Regina’s eyes widened, and she looked up at all of them. “Oh, my God.” 

“No fucking way!” Ruby screamed, pulling Lily into a hug.

“Did we win?” Merida asked

“I think we won,” Mulan answered, a starry-eyed look on her face,

“On behalf of Geffen Records, we are very excited to tell you all that Pynk is one of the three winners of our cover contest! We will fly the band and the band manager out to record your single, “Don’t Put Dirt On My Grave Just Yet.”

Emma was utterly stunned. “Is this for real?” 

“It is! We enjoyed all of your submissions, your band has lots of range, and we’re hopeful that we will work together in the future after the single is recorded.” 

Angelica began talking about details and how everything would work, and Regina was trying to pay attention, but there was so much happening around her. The band was losing their minds, screaming and crying. David and Mary-Margaret were congratulating them, but it was challenging to hear anything.

“We’ll send all of this information in the email, but we love doing the calls. As I said, we here at Interscope Records look forward to working with Pynk. Congratulations, and enjoy the rest of your evening.” 

Regina ended the call, and the screaming skyrocketed. Their energy was infectious, and Regina couldn’t help but be proud of them. She was in awe. She was stunned. They’d won. Over 5,000 submissions and they were one of the best. She wanted nothing but success for them. Watching them, seeing the joy on their faces, the tears in Emma’s eyes, she was glad she was a part of their life. Regina looked forward to not having to hide anymore, of proudly claiming Emma as hers and being claimed as Emma’s. She didn’t know what the future would hold, but from where she stood, it appeared it was going to be epic.


End file.
